Go to From Damn Near Hell To Almost Paradise
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- Go to Freedom Ends Today--Stressing Big Time
Cringe
You get Dr. Phil over there too? How's that working for you? 
I do completely believe it's lazy parenting!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 8:49 PM
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Dr.Phil did a good show on this.
It seems that a lot of kids in the U.S. are being tagged as ADD or ADHD, as it's easier than admitting it's a behavioural issue.
I'm not saying that is the case in this instance, but I do believe that environment has a huge part to play with these types of disorders, in terms of buffering the outbursts.
Sometimes, as in the boy's mother's case, it's easier to just let the disorder own the boy, rather than him own it. That's lazy parenting in my opinion.
Regrettably, all you and Carl can do is continue being as stable an influence as you are, so he always knows where he is with you.
posted by
Cringe
on July 20, 2006 at 11:39 AM
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Bel
Fortunately we were spared that. Partly, I guess, 'cos we lived out in the wilds of rural Wales, where there were few temptations.
I do sympathise with you and carl.
posted by
ariel70
on July 20, 2006 at 11:33 AM
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Ariel
You have no idea how very, very right you are. It hurts my heart because I remember when he was a sweet little boy who got mad at me for not picking a drunk up from the side of the freeway because it was cold outside. I don't even recognize the person he has become but I still can't forget that little boy.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 11:31 AM
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Bel again
Duh! Genes of course!
posted by
ariel70
on July 20, 2006 at 11:29 AM
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Bel
As a stepfather to three boys, I can tell you, if they turn out good it's good genese ; if they turn out bad it's poor upbrininging.
As out three now grown up sons love me more than their real father, I guess we did something right.
BTW, thanks for dropping in today
posted by
ariel70
on July 20, 2006 at 11:28 AM
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Mosseballs!
HAHAHA I love the name! I will try! Thanks!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 11:06 AM
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thanks
thanks for the welcome and comment! Try and take some time for yourself to destress after all of that!
posted by
Mooseballs16
on July 20, 2006 at 10:22 AM
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Blonde
I am counting on all of you!!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 7:37 AM
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Maggie
I wished that worked but given the boy gets into fist fights with his step-father, Carl doesn't much effect him because we do tend to draw the line at fist fighting with our children.
Respect is something this child does not have nor comprehend.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 7:36 AM
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Bel
Wow....it sounds like your hands will be full.....just remember all of your blog pals will support you everyday.....I hope that can somehow ease the stress level.
posted by
BlondeAmbition007
on July 20, 2006 at 7:34 AM
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Surely he has some respect for his dad as an authority! If he puts the screws to him one time, he should come around, I would think. Oh well, good luck, Sweetie, maybe he'll surprise you.
posted by
MaggieMae
on July 20, 2006 at 7:33 AM
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Passion
Be assured the firm hand is not an issue! The mother used to call me to get him to behave over the phone. She could not understand what I did that even 300 miles away would make him behave LOL! I just get very tired of the
constant monitoring of everything he does.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 7:31 AM
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Sannhet
Thank you!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 7:29 AM
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Passion
So where was she last year when I was here? I don't remember her orrrrrrrrrr is she another name change LOL!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 7:28 AM
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Offbeats
The stress level is through the roof. I am praying that maybe somehow, someway he will understand that this is simply not going to be tolerated but I am not counting on it. Yeah Mom is quite the piece of work!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 7:28 AM
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Please stop feeling guilty--
The child will sense this immediately and use it for his own purposes. YOU have nothing to feel guilty about. You do whatever you have to in order to protect yourself and your household.
This child needs a very firm hand. You won't be able to be that "firm hand" as long as any guilt lingers.
posted by
Passionflower
on July 20, 2006 at 7:17 AM
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Bel -
You've got to protect your family, so good luck!
posted by
sannhet
on July 20, 2006 at 7:01 AM
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Sorry I never mentioned this before - but
Schatz does live in or near Detroit. I almost got to meet her 2 years ago when I was up there working.
posted by
Passionflower
on July 20, 2006 at 7:00 AM
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bel
No wonder the kid has issues! The problem is it is carrying over into your life. While I happen to believe you can handle it, the stress level must be horrific! Just what you
don't need right now!! The mother must be a piece of work ........sad!
posted by
Offy
on July 20, 2006 at 6:34 AM
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Offbeat
Sadly this started when he was about 6, the longer he was with his mother the worse he has gotten. Of course the behavior he exhibits is rather telling of the household as it is. His step-father was convincted of larceny, fraud and embezzlement, they have fist fights in the home, etc..
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 6:22 AM
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bel
Good luck with this one! I don't know what happens to kids between the age of 13 to 17 years old. Seems they think their immortal. It's not an easy task set that you have set for yourself....talking sometimes makes things worse because for the most part, they don't listen! Good luck!
posted by
Offy
on July 20, 2006 at 6:18 AM
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Avant
Thank you so much.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 5:45 AM
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Nautikos
Beleive me I have thought of that.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 5:45 AM
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Corbin
Still hanging in there thanks! I'd like to do something with him, but a month a year doesn't give me the time to do anything but get myself called a b**ch by the boy.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 5:44 AM
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Maggie
Believe me we have thought about it, but his mother has primary custody and we can't do anything without her OK.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 20, 2006 at 5:42 AM
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Wow, you do have a problem. Can't you send him to military school, or one of those camps they have for unruly kids. I would sure consider something like this, for everybody's, and especially his, sake.
posted by
MaggieMae
on July 20, 2006 at 5:23 AM
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Bel...
I feel for you and what lies ahead....don't you wish you could convenience the boy to get it out of his system.....get to the root of what is making him so angry...his mother has created this. This is going to be very stressful for you and Carl, too.
Are you still making it with the "you know what"? 
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on July 20, 2006 at 4:34 AM
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bel,
this is sad. If nothing is done with that kid, and soon, in a few years not only won't he come for visitation, you (or at least his dad) will have to visit
him - in jail!
posted by
Nautikos
on July 20, 2006 at 4:29 AM
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bel
That is truly sad, but you have to protect the integrity of your family. Sometimes, sitting someone down and talking calmly to them, and backing it up works best. Best of luck to you.
posted by
avant-garde
on July 20, 2006 at 3:27 AM
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