Go to From Damn Near Hell To Almost Paradise
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Taps
you are so very right!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 8:01 AM
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Passion
You are so right!!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 8:00 AM
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Pat
Thank you! The rewards are wonderful!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 7:59 AM
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Azur
Exactly. I could not even imagine doing anything else!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 7:58 AM
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Congrats Maggie!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 7:57 AM
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BrightIrish
Thank you so much!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 7:56 AM
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Blanche
I can only imagine how hurtful that is to you. Stand your ground is all I can offer. I told Carl flat out at one point that I would not be around forever if he didn't marry me within a reasonable amount of time. I meant it and he knew it.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 7:55 AM
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Corbin
You are such a sweetie. Actually I worked very part time. I spent most of my time working with various organizations that were helping the troops. I did what my husband expected of me, which was most important to me.
Thanks Again!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 7:52 AM
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Blackpearl
What a lovely compliment, thank you so much!
posted by
bel_1965
on July 2, 2006 at 7:49 AM
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Hi, bel_1965,
This is so sweet. You have the kind of relationship with your husband that many people admire and aspire to have. Congratulations. :)
posted by
BlackPearl1
on July 2, 2006 at 6:53 AM
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Sure you are.....
You like thousands of other women (and some men) were courageous enough to mind the home front. To take care of the kids, pay the bills, make sure the household is maintained.........just like millions of American women (and some men) have done each time in the past when America has been given a job to do.
All of this, while probably working a job to maintain some semblance of a decent income........Hell, there are thousands that remained back home that probably deserve purple hearts of their own.......
You've shown the courage to stick it out through the bad days as well as the good....the courage to enjoy the hills knowing those valleys were always just over the rise........
So like it or not.....you have been courageous.............
posted by
Corbin_Dallas
on July 2, 2006 at 6:06 AM
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Bel, this is incredibly truthful and poignant.
It really makes me think (and tears come into my eyes), because I have had moments, when I wonder if MG and I are going to make it. One of those times was yesterday. We went to a movie in a shopping mall. While we were there, he decided to go into a jewelry store to buy himself an earring for his one piecred ear, joking that it made him look more like a "designer".
I had this horrible, painful sadness come over me, that I could not shake off, or even really understand. I am not a person who measures love in terms of jewelry and I am well past the age of wanting to flaunt anything to anyone (except maybe my mother). I just could not get over the fac that he has not bought jewlery for me. We have been together through our own personal trials and tiibulations (thank God noting like what you went through waiting for Carl last year).
But after all we've been through, I just felt really low that he was buying jewelry for himself and not for me. He gets stubborn on that point, that it is not his style to buy jewelry as a gift, and that it is the traditional role of the man to ask the woman to marry him. I just let him know that yes, it is the traditional decision of the man, but the woman (meaning me in this case) may not wait around, or say yes, when that happens. He gets stubborn. However, it also has to do with the fact that due to a whole series of events 3 years ago, I lost every piece of jewelry that I owned, some I've had since childhood, nothing expensive or preciious but had enormous sentimental value for me. I think that had a lot to do with my sudden teariness, which is so unlike me, and all the anger and resentment that I felt, that I still don't understand.
However, I still love him, and we have a bond, that I don't think that all the diamonds in the world could replace. I just think he's pigheaded sometimes, and so am I.
posted by
Blanche.
on July 1, 2006 at 6:34 PM
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bel 1965
This is a beautiful post.. Courage and Humility are a inspiring combination and you have them both within you. 
posted by
BrightIrish
on July 1, 2006 at 4:57 PM
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It's true, bel, Carl is home and you needn't panic anymore.
I know about that "work" you speak of. Of almost 42 years of marriage, many times it would have been easier to walk out, but I never did and neither did he. You are so right about someone complimenting another who has been married many, many years. They deserve it and they worked hard to get there.
You're a good kid and we all know it - we've never forgotten "clone willie". hahaha
Love ya.
posted by
MaggieMae
on July 1, 2006 at 3:49 PM
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I don't why it is
but I have no trouble sticking with my relationship. I see no other path.
posted by
Azur
on July 1, 2006 at 2:49 PM
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Actually, it does take courage to love someone
and to follow through on it. So much easier not to get involved, not to put your convenience and preferences on the back burner to take care of someone else. Everyday stuff may be every day, but when you're actually taking it on, doing what it takes, afraid of what your partner's having to deal with, but in the support role anyway -- that is courage. That you want to do it, that you get a lot out of it -- that's your reward.
posted by
Pat_B
on July 1, 2006 at 2:41 PM
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I'm afraid it's the day and time we live in...
If you mention "work" to anyone, they cringe. People would rather just move on to the next relationship than put any work in the one they're in.
posted by
Passionflower
on July 1, 2006 at 8:28 AM
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This is a wonderful post, Bel and every wife should have such an attitude no matter what their husband is and does for a living. But, not every wife has what it takes to stand by the committment that they made when they married. (same for a husband)
posted by
TAPS.
on July 1, 2006 at 8:21 AM
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Passion
Too many think it comes easily. It doesn't! Any relationship takes WORK, even the best ones...probably should say especially the best ones.
I remember telling a friend who was letting ehr marriage go down the drain for no reason other than she was too stubborn to put in the work. There is a reason people congratulate those who have been married a number of years and made it work. Nothing comes easy and keeping a relationship sometimes means FGIHTING LIKE HELL for it!
Carl's sister once told me she wanted a relationship like ours...I could not get through her head that meant riding out the rough spots.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 1, 2006 at 6:42 AM
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Great post! I'm glad your soldier made it home in one piece.
Loving someone thru thick and thin is kind of rare these days. Sadly, it's not the norm anymore.
posted by
Passionflower
on July 1, 2006 at 6:38 AM
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Avant
Believe it or not, I haven't seen that movie. I meant to just never got around to seeing it. Thank you so much for your kind words. We all do what we have to do to get through. Honestly, that is all I have ever done.
posted by
bel_1965
on July 1, 2006 at 5:02 AM
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bel
Have you seen 'Ladder 49'? The wife of that firefighter goes through all of what you describe, and he dies in the end. It was very poignant. You are admired by many here, including me.
posted by
avant-garde
on July 1, 2006 at 4:15 AM
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