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This poem
wonderfully refelects your faith.
Can I make two writing suggestions?
Firstly I'd replace 'you'll' with 'you will'. The syllables are more balanced that way and you keep your rhythm.
Secondly I wouldn't us a word to rhyme with itself (ie, me and me in the last two lines) it can be quite off putting when the reader is expecting a rhyming word OTHER than 'me'. Could you use 'free' in some way instead there?
posted by
astraldreamer
on June 30, 2006 at 1:53 AM
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Cindy7 -- Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you
the desires of your heart!
posted by
MountainClimber57
on June 29, 2006 at 9:01 AM
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