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- Go to ANGER: WHAT MOVES YOU TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE AND CREATES A LOSS OF THOUGHT?
Thanks I Respect All Comments
It is difficult and I used the methods of confront, expose and sanction, yet the powers that be felt I needed to be sanctioned. One assumes that when reporting, one would get assistance, yet in many cases it did not work. Silence can work, if the person who is the boss has good character and not use the silence to plot in other ways.
I left the situation and yet often wonder especially since I read in the newspaper a couple weeks ago that a respected person in the community was fired and a group notified the media and held a meeting, yet after 3 hours the bully did not back down. A divine intervention will be required to get the head removed!!
posted by
Dr_JPT
on June 27, 2006 at 5:42 PM
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I've found that the most effective weapon against people like that is
silence. Your silence acts as an accoustic shell to their own behavior, shouting their own behavior back at them. Unfortunately, sometimes that can be much harder said than done. But troublemakers, especially in the face of their victims' silence, eventually dig their own graves. Sure, physical violence will get your point across, but you'll also lose your job. Better to quit in search of greener pasture than to be fired, or worse, arrested and brought to court on battery charges.
posted by
SilverMoon7
on June 26, 2006 at 2:08 AM
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Hi, Sophistie,
I'm sorry to hear about this situation for you. I pray you keep your cool. It's little consolation, I know, but what goes around comes around. Anger is such a volatile emotion, but no matter how tempted you get to punch someone's lights out, you will still be the loser in the end. Then all they'll have to say is, "See, I told you she was a troublemaker/slacker/disrespectful/crazy..." or whatever. Don't let them win.
posted by
BlackPearl1
on June 25, 2006 at 4:08 PM
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Sophistie
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Remember, you never ever want to reduce yourself to his/her level. In the end you have to look in the mirror at your reflection and respect the person looking back at you.
posted by
bel_1965
on June 25, 2006 at 6:31 AM
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Sophistie, I work on that myuelf
How to handle disrespectful or unfair bosses, people with power over my immediate circumstances I am not inclined to confront while my temper is flaring. I want to cool down, consider the facts, talk them over with a trusted confidant, and see where the conflict lies. If there is no possibility of resolution with that person because of entrenched disputes, then perhaps, for the sake of your peace of mind, discuss the situation with THEIR supervisor.
I have heard the same complaint, that to walk away from a heated dispute is somehow "not fair" to the other person. I thiink that it can be the best for all concerned, so that reason prevails and heated words are not exchanged.
I remember your acronym that you used as DrJPT: Confront, Expose, Sanction. (It still reminds me of "The Eiger Sanction", lol, the Clint Eastwood movie where the word "sanction" was a euphemism for an assassination. That, imho, would certainly result in jail time. 
Personally, I think that attempting to forgive someone who has violated what you consider your core beliefs and values for respect, is not feasible. Even writing a letter that is not sent relieves some pent-up feelings and helps to clarify what the real issue is. As I said, I work on this myself. Good luck.
posted by
Blanche.
on June 24, 2006 at 6:25 PM
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gain their respect but lose your job...its not worth it...
as a staff relations Rep., I act as a mediator in such occurrences..it gives the "little guy" a chance to be heard, at least..
posted by
Rumor
on June 24, 2006 at 12:50 PM
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if Not respect your pink slip.
Is it worth it?
posted by
Whacky
on June 23, 2006 at 10:58 PM
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you wouldnt want to hit someone at work,
thats just asking for your own reputation to be marred.
You are right though, sometimes the boss is just that, the boss, and no matter what you do, right or wrong, if they dont like it, its not going to matter one iota!! thats when you need to use your intelligence, look for another job, and report them to someone higher any how!!
posted by
justright
on June 23, 2006 at 6:58 PM
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We all have certain issues that trigger a strong emotional response.
You don't always have to give in to those negative emotions though.
posted by
Passionflower
on June 23, 2006 at 6:54 PM
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I can't work for someone I don't respect. It's simple. The way I deal
with it is to find a new job.... or trying. LOL
posted by
-blackcat
on June 23, 2006 at 5:58 PM
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In my 27 yrs of factory work I have told many supervisors where they could
get off... I got away with it because I waited until I was absolutely sure they were wrong... and I was always so good at what I did that they couldn't afford to fire me... If I had to all over again I would gone with self employment of some kind. To be a success in their world you have to be an even meaner and more stupid than they are...
posted by
MasonGarrett
on June 23, 2006 at 4:20 PM
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I've never really had a supervisor per se ...
however, I imagine I'd handle such a conflict in much the same way I handle disputes with my friends, by making catty remarks and starting nasty rumors behind his or her back.
Generally speaking, I'm not one to resort to physical violence. Primarily because I'd almost certainly get my ass kicked.
"Lady in the water."
posted by
Mademoiselle
on June 23, 2006 at 1:36 PM
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