Go to From Damn Near Hell To Almost Paradise
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Muser
Thank you so much!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 21, 2006 at 5:52 AM
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bel, you have the most important job in the world! There is no reason for
you to feel that you must defend being a "housewife". I never liked the term housewife though; I prefer home maker. It doesn't matter though whether you call yourself a domestic engineer, or a full time mommy...you still have the most important job a woman can have...that of raising her own child and making a comfortable home for her family. Your committment to family honors God.
posted by
muser
on June 21, 2006 at 12:58 AM
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Janes
Thank you so much! My daughter reminds me on a regular basis of the value. She knows without a doubt that i am there when she needs me. While she takes it for granted as it is all she has known for so many years...her taking it for granted it part of what reminds me it's the right thing to do.
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 6:57 PM
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bel_1965, don't you EVER think that what you do is unimportant!!!!
I see what my sister does as a stay at home mom, and how wonderful her kids are because of the countless, unselfish hours invested in their lives, and I think there can never be a more important job than being a mom. It is 24/7. It can be exhausting at times. There were times when my sister WISHED she worked, since it would likely have been easier, but 16 years later she has no regrets.
So -- "be all that you can be" AS A MOM and you will have a profound effect on the lives of these precious children.
Blessings to you.
posted by
JanesOpinion
on June 20, 2006 at 6:44 PM
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bel, I respect your's and Carl's decision to stay home and take care of the
home and your child, but I have to tell you that I took care of a 40-hour a week job, a large house, a husband and two children, laundry and cooking, nurse and gardner, for 21 years. I know it's a big job. I look back now and I don't even know how I did it, except that it was there and it had to be done. It wasn't "A" job, it was several jobs.
I sometimes wonder if that isn't the reason my body is falling apart now. haha Seriously, if I had to do it all again, I would do it. But I don't have to, it's fate that makes it my husband's job now, except that he gets the grandchildren when they stay over. 
So, end of story, I survived it.
posted by
MaggieMae
on June 20, 2006 at 6:08 PM
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Thank you Avonna
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 4:02 PM
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LOL Fourcats!!!
Thanks!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 4:01 PM
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Brettnik
you are very right!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 4:01 PM
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You shouldn't have to defend yourself. But careful...working mom's jobs
are 24-7 also, they just start their second shift when their children get out of school or tutoring in the afternoon. We all make the choices which are right for our families and no one should even think about judging another's decision.
posted by
brettnik
on June 20, 2006 at 3:57 PM
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bel - this is a really corny comment, but "you go, girl!"
posted by
fourcats
on June 20, 2006 at 3:51 PM
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a stay-home Mom has the hardest job in the world.
Those who judge you for doing something so important - are jealous.
posted by
Avonna
on June 20, 2006 at 2:40 PM
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Sophistie
Thank you very much!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 2:30 PM
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8-ball
This was a mutual decision between Carl and I, so he better respect it LOL!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 2:29 PM
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That's right
and I hope your family respects that decision also. The kids will take a while!
posted by
8-ball
on June 20, 2006 at 12:38 PM
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Good to Make Own Choice
Many will attempt to require people to explain their choices, yet we owe no explanations. Busy bodies are the ones who do that.
posted by
Dr_JPT
on June 20, 2006 at 12:10 PM
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posted by
Blanche.
on June 20, 2006 at 11:51 AM
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LOL Blanche!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 11:51 AM
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Bel, telling other people about things I have no clue about is a particular
specialty of mine. Why spoil all my fun, lol.
posted by
Blanche.
on June 20, 2006 at 11:49 AM
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LOL Blanche
We all were, but most of us didn't feel the need to tell those who had more experience than ourselves what they were doing wrong. I know, I learned from those who had more experience.
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 11:47 AM
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Well, I was clueless from Day one, so I can't blame college, Bel,
It did let me prolong my adolescence for a long time and that was fun.
posted by
Blanche.
on June 20, 2006 at 11:42 AM
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Blanche
I know I felt really out of place in school. I was in my 30's with a husband and two kids. I had spent 15 years in the working world and had been raising a family. They were clueless to the real world and the saddest part was college did nothing to prepare them for the real world.
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 11:40 AM
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Bel, I went to a day-long seminar in December for prospective masters
students, interested in the program on social work. I was so antsy, I couldn't wait to get out of that room, 200 people I have less in common with, I can't imagine.
posted by
Blanche.
on June 20, 2006 at 11:35 AM
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Blanche
You are so very right!!!!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 11:30 AM
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Poetic
Thank you. It is incredibly rewarding!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 11:29 AM
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Bel, you just put your finger on exactly why I can never go back to grad
school: all the talk about saving the world, and saving this that and the other, and when it comes to day to day real-life problems, like getting your kids to daycare so you can get to class, they could not give a rat's patoot. Something's wrong with that picture.
posted by
Blanche.
on June 20, 2006 at 11:27 AM
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LOL Passion
Just Rocky. He is not the parent of the babies we found...well, he might have been dad, but he is certainly a he. The babies found a wonderful home away from my house LOL!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 11:27 AM
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Hey Domestic Diva...
I didn't work outside my home either when I was married and I got this crap all the time. Even without children, there's plenty to keep you busy. You'll never change people's opinion though. They're still gonna think you're not a productive member of society.
So screw them! Right? You've got Rocky and his family to watch out for anyway!
posted by
Passionflower
on June 20, 2006 at 11:14 AM
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Kudos...
FYI...You earning a living....as a mother...a stay home mother who will reap all the rewards of her child that will grow in her image to an adult....what could be more rewarding, profitable and beneficial than that! Nothing comes close to comparison. I work and spend 12 hours of my day away from my little one...and miss so so much....nothing hurts more than hearing of an accomplishment over the phone after the grandparents heard it first....or having your mother tell you your daughter no longer likes pickle on her sandwich but on the side!!!! You live for working mohters everywhere.....thank you!
posted by
PoeticInk
on June 20, 2006 at 11:10 AM
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Pat
I don't know about the world, but most certainly my little piece of it LOL!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 10:21 AM
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The hand that rocks the cradle
rules the world, they say. In this day and age, why should anyone butt into anyone else's decisions about life, work, family?
posted by
Pat_B
on June 20, 2006 at 10:18 AM
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ThomasFranklin
Not MY bloodline as my kids are not mine in the terms of biology, they have a biological mother but I know with our daughter that I will pass on the love and you know, that's not a bad thing either! Thanks so much!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 9:52 AM
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Blanche
I was actually ask to leave a class in college over this very subject. I worked my schedule around my kids and for that reason they were not in daycare. I would put them on the bus in the morning and be tehre when they got off of the bus at 3PM. I spent a good deal of time running from the parking structure to class in the morning, but I was there!
I had some little twit tell me I was "socially retarding" my kids by not having them in some sort of daycare. I kind of became a bit "verbally combative" as the Professor claimed.
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 9:50 AM
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You're payoff comes at the end of life when you get to see how well your grandchildren turned out and your bloodline continues on as your children carry on the tradition.
posted by
ThomasFranklin
on June 20, 2006 at 9:49 AM
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Bel,
I heard all about the oppressed downtrodden housewives in college, read about it in textbooks, ad nauseam. You know what? Working for a living isn't all that fun, and kids needs a mom. I don't think anybody should make anyone else's choices for them or that you should feel bad about your choices. Your happy, your husband and your daughter are happy. End of story.
posted by
Blanche.
on June 20, 2006 at 9:47 AM
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Shelly
Thank you so much!
posted by
bel_1965
on June 20, 2006 at 9:37 AM
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bel, I think it's wonderful that you stay at home so you can be there for
your family. Especially your daughter, at this age, she needs you more than ever. I think some people look down on housewives because they know, that they can not do the same. I mean, who wouldn't want to stay home and be there for the family, you know?
posted by
shelly_b
on June 20, 2006 at 9:33 AM
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