Go to I Like the Long ForePlay
- Add a comment
- Go to "Ideal" pt.3 finale
Oh Maggie-
Would it help if I wore a large and fancily stitched letter A on my chest? Yes, I was and will always be Linda's "other woman." She may never see me as a gift like her husband and her surrogate parents do. But I see it and understand it. Mike and I were to experience perfection so he would know how to replicate it in his own family, which was pretty devoid of the kind of love I was giving. His children suffered from this huge void as well.
I
am hard to live with, especially when I'm all alone. This has been a rough week because of the silence from 1500 miles away.
I still can't get over my husband; he IS my true soul mate, but Mike was the catalyst my marriage needed for us BOTH to "get it." I was the catalyst that got his wife to wake up. We were both married to people who took their marriages for granted.
I have always been a heart follower, and in this case, neither of us (Mike nor I) can follow our hearts because there are too many people who would suffer otherwise. It's why he must
remain silent. I wish I could hate him or be mad because of it, but I can't. So I have a good cry and get over it... for a while.... and embrace my good fortune and my blessings. Mike and I had our cake and ate it, too, but those days are forever gone.
Instead I exercise patience and know that all things happen for the best in God's own time. I had to forgive myself a long time ago; and have to on a daily basis. I can't feel sorry for myself or cry over what was not to be every day. I have to take a big breath and live, each day, with what I have and make the most out of it.
You DO get me going!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on May 27, 2006 at 5:39 PM
| link to this | reply
your weekend? Whoopsie!
posted by
MaggieMae
on May 27, 2006 at 5:05 PM
| link to this | reply
Hi, Cee
Are you enjoying our weekend? I hope so.
You have quite a story here. Will you be turning it into a book at some point?
I don't know how you live with yourself, but I guess you're doing alright. It's gotta be tough. 
posted by
MaggieMae
on May 27, 2006 at 5:04 PM
| link to this | reply