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Hi Angel-
Thanks, sweetie, for stopping by. I'm just on a Mike-roll or binge again. I happened to run across MY Mike tonight, and I'm sure it was him, had to be, who had 10 posts on an Apple discussion-support board. He was always and forever a PC/Dell man (Silicone valley and all the past 20 years!) His son preferred iMacs, though. He posted that he bought an Intel/Mac in Feb to do his home DVD recording. I wonder if he finally broke down and watched the two I sent him at Christmas? (the one of my mother's life made people cry who never even knew her.) He should have; they were impressive, even if I do say so myself. He said I'd missed the boat when he saw the racy ones I put together for him of moi plus just the little slideshows I have posted on my mac.com board. I've been doing video-editing since 1985 and I DO have a knack. He said in a post that if you couldn't beat em join em. He'd seen some other's work that impressed him (and he's thinking he could do just as well, I bet.....) The new i'06 programs ARE different; they upgrade them yearly and I have to relearn them myself; I was having some new program questions and went to their discussion forum. If my teeth coulda fallen out, they would have. He writes his technical questions in his "voice", saying he would try something and cross his fingers and toes and see......... it hasn't helped my Mikey-mood any, either........ Well, my fingers and toes are crossing by themselves (PD) so I've got to get to bed!
I will be reading more on
this Blogit site tomorrow - I've just been needing to tell someone........
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on May 6, 2006 at 1:17 AM
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fwmystic-
Thanks for stopping by! I just read your profile and I remember your picture now from Ariala's blog. You're a funny guy! You know, I never would have imagined myself as anything BUT monogamous but then I wasn't when I was in college and met Mike. The two times in my life and I was unfaithful with the same guy. 30 years didn't make a whit of difference. I'm reading a book that is making a good point of statistically showing that women aren't automatically monogamous (as we've been made out to be); 70% of all splits are initiated by women!! I had asked for a divorce. Mike and I had a date set for me to move in with him. (1500 miles away) I had moved into the spare bedroom; couldn't afford to move out on my own as I'd put all my money into hubby's photo studio. (separate bedroom just made sex on the sly that much more tantalizing!) But I was the only "cat" of the four of us. Mike's middle name was monogamous. I admitted to him that I'd slept with my husband the night of my mother's funeral Oct 1 and that just about ended it. I flew out to spend 3 days with him the next weekend. That's how his wife came face to face with it and then by Oct. 21, Mike agreed to go in for marriage counseling, thus making our plans null and void for a while. W were really close to having our committed romance; he had bought our sleep number bed (cause it's the only one I'll sleep on!) for us (wifey found
that receipt) and he had bought my airline tickets for house hunting in Nov. The null and void turned to forever Dec. 20th. I started a new obsession of sorts, blogging here Dec. 21st. I've been cryin' off and on ever since. < sigh > I keep saying this is it, blagging in my blog.
Our marriage has gone back to the way it was, pretty much, although I think there's a resentment there that I feel at times, and still a longing on my part. We're trying, but the photo biz is pretty cut-throat anymore and with the economy the way it is, overhead hasn't gone down but weddings aren't anything like they used to be. Marketing means we don't make the house payment....... so we may be making drastic changes in lifestyle, which is barely making it for now. Monogamy looks pretty good at the moment. It's like old shoes; they're comfy, you can slouch around in them without worrying that you're slouching, all the old married kind of stuff. We talk more, have no secrets anymore, make love 3-4 xs a week still, so it ain't all so bad. Even if I really can't afford therapy. So I blog.....
Cee (the insomniac!)
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on May 6, 2006 at 12:49 AM
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Cee.....
Thinking of you!
angel 
posted by
anglofinspirtion
on May 5, 2006 at 10:09 PM
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Interesting post ...
your situation makes a case against monogamy. I don't know about you, but if I wanted to have an affair or if I discovered Better Half was mooning over someone, then it would be over. You four have proven how you can spend your life living with someone while longing for another. Why deny yourself under the facade of wanting a "committed" relationship with someone new?
posted by
fwmystic
on May 5, 2006 at 10:00 PM
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Azur-
Thank you for your reading my posts and thank you for saying that. It's the Kansas in me. I tell it like it is.
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on May 5, 2006 at 3:27 PM
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Factor-
I was just reading some more in my MC book and it was talking about women who feel pain(because they are usually the ones dumped first) are often angry because they want him to suffer as much as they are. I thought that was interesting because in the last part of my rant (that's tomorrow's) I say something that would indicate I'm pissed off as hell! You see, this probably would have died a natural death and I could have lived with that. We would have returned to hearth and home on our own, I do believe. I'm bucking the "No Contact Forever" clause HE and HIS WIFE and THEIR THERAPIST imposed upon me! If it could have just slowly died down to an email once in a while to say, 'Who are you rooting for on American Idol? It's raining here and cold. The lavender is in bloom.' I could live with that. This cold turkey just grates my cheese!!
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on May 5, 2006 at 1:28 PM
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Ceemarie
I have no suggestions and besides Factor makes a good point about talking to someone and the importance of the here and now but I must say that I find your posts so open and interesting
posted by
Azur
on May 5, 2006 at 1:28 PM
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I think that is a good idea.
You need to break the pattern and get the most out of your life _right now_... that's still something I have to think about myself with MS! All the best-
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 5, 2006 at 10:46 AM
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Cee ~
Write it out, write it all out, just as I am for seeing our words before us is often healing. Inside our minds the twisted webs have no room to stretch and they get all the more tangled but when one writes it out seeing becomes more clear AND with friends who really care enough to comment with wisdom we can't help but move forward and away from the chains and pains of a broken/confused heart. I speak from recent wisdom only
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on May 5, 2006 at 10:11 AM
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Factor-
Wow - that's seriously a good suggestion and I have wanted a professional to talk to about it, alone. My daughter and husband see a psychiatrist who knows the situation, just not my side or how I can't let it go. I will see about getting an appointment with him that dovetails with one of my family members. (I don't drive myself). I probably sound worse off than I am. One of my marriage counseling books said it could take 2-4 years to get over a romantic affair. I promise not to blog about it in angst times for that long, I promise!
Thank you for your concern.
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on May 5, 2006 at 9:55 AM
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Cee
Have you thought about seeing a psychologist/advisor type of person to help get back to the "here and now?" Especially since you have Parkinsons I would like to see you living for right now as opposed to dealing with what should have/could have been and is largely a product of what you think it would be like (long term, short term is easy.)
I wish I could hear you enjoying what you have as well as you talk about Mike. I know blogging is just a good place to do that, and it is single-faceted so we don't get the whole picture...but still...
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 5, 2006 at 7:32 AM
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