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Thanks and I Plan to Let it Go and Do the Best That I Can
She showed up to my house a few hours ago. All went well for awhile, then she started up and left upset. I kept my head and cool. Distance will be the best way to go. I appreciate your comments.
posted by
Dr_JPT
on May 2, 2006 at 7:37 PM
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Hi Sophistie.....You make me want to weep for you....
I was very sad while reading your post. I think a mother-daughter relationship can be one of the toughest going. It is hard, but you have to continue to find a common thread. If distance is really the best solution, then distance, it has to be....I can tell you are a strong woman, so continue to have that power inside you. Best to you.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on May 2, 2006 at 4:45 PM
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Sometimes distance is necessary. My mom and I have a similar relationship...I think she's always resented me for being born...just because she felt trapped into raising me instead of having a career. My sister was favored for no apparent reason, but I think that she was younger and not the REASON she couldn't go back to school. (Since she already was trapped by me, the older child.)
We get along better now, after several years of next to no contact, but the relationship is still strained and not as close as I would like it to be. The time and distance has helped me view things less emotionally. So I can say things now, and not have to be right, or even be heard. Letting it go gives her space to think it over and sometimes we can make a little progress toward healing those old wounds.
posted by
DarrkeThoughts
on May 2, 2006 at 4:31 PM
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in some cases
distance really does make the heart grow fonder
posted by
homegirl
on May 2, 2006 at 1:27 PM
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QWEEN
I can only imagine what you have gone through! I am through now and know that I am okay and will be okay. It has been tough getting to this point, yet I read in the Bible this morning a Word that was very beneficial. WHO CAN MAKE STRAIGHT WHAT GOD HAS MADE CROOKED? That had a profound impact on me. I realized immediately that no matter what I do or say, I will not be able to help her in her thinking, so that it would be better for her, no just for me. Thanks for your kind words and understanding.
posted by
Dr_JPT
on May 2, 2006 at 8:47 AM
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Ginnieb
I understand exactly what you are saying. Keeping busy and focused in other areas help and not dwelling on it at night. I am really saying that after today, I am not weeping in this area again for I understand that it is not possible to expect anything other than the hatred and that I now know how to deal with it effectively. Thanks for your understanding. It feels good to be able to say it and have someone understand what I am saying and feeling!
posted by
Dr_JPT
on May 2, 2006 at 8:42 AM
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Thanks Whacky
posted by
Dr_JPT
on May 2, 2006 at 8:38 AM
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Sophistie
You and I are going thru the same thing regarding our mothers. I've finally accepted that I AM OKAY and that it is my my mother who has to live with who she was and is......I no longer carry that burden and am now taking baby steps out into my life without trying to pull my mothers love along with me. It hurts like hell, I know.
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on May 2, 2006 at 8:35 AM
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Sophistie...
..sounds like you are grappling with so many things. Your sentence: Weeping endures for a night, and joy comes in the morning...do things look better in the light of day? Often the nighttime is the worst time to think of difficult things...always feels worse in the nighttime. Take care and I hope someday you will find peace.
posted by
ginnieb
on May 2, 2006 at 8:24 AM
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Good luck with that!
posted by
Whacky
on May 2, 2006 at 8:19 AM
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