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Ha!
This is awesome and is just what I needed to read! LOL
Sorry my reply is sans pictures... 
posted by
RachelAnna
on January 17, 2007 at 7:33 PM
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posted by
A-and-B
on July 26, 2006 at 4:47 AM
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Mark
Thank you for your comment to Lockman on my post. Be blessed.
posted by
Justi
on May 29, 2006 at 3:17 PM
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Double-X ~ That's sort of troubling.
The fact that I've inspired anything is pretty frightening. You may need help.
However, a wall is a bad idea. What's needed is a giant force field, sort of like ones Kirk always got messed up on in Star Trek. Preferably operated by hot babes in mini-skirts.
posted by
mark2556
on May 15, 2006 at 7:55 AM
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actually
you inspired a post
about a wall all around the u.s.
posted by
Xeno-x
on May 15, 2006 at 7:04 AM
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mark2556--your sheep look almost legal.
posted by
scriber
on May 11, 2006 at 8:12 AM
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Ah....mmmmmmppphh....shit, I dunno.
Lemme go check my, uh.......girlfriend and get back to you.
posted by
mark2556
on May 9, 2006 at 11:46 AM
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Mark2556--speaking of sheep and Mexicans, where do sheep carry their boobs
posted by
scriber
on May 9, 2006 at 9:51 AM
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Yes. Quite musky, however.
Sheep is the scent of love.
posted by
mark2556
on May 9, 2006 at 9:37 AM
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Mark2556--wooo, looks almost human.
posted by
scriber
on May 8, 2006 at 9:45 AM
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Scriber ~ Don't be ridiculous
There's no such thing as an ugly sheep.
Some are just a little more musky than others.
posted by
mark2556
on May 8, 2006 at 8:40 AM
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Chris reminds me of that old sheep joke ending: "u picked the ugliest one
in the bunch."
posted by
scriber
on May 8, 2006 at 5:53 AM
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Chelly ~ I've got the perfect method to warm you up.
And believe me, a badger-skin blanket is pretty arousing once you get past the smell. I'll bring the malted milk and frosted caramel corn.
posted by
mark2556
on May 8, 2006 at 5:23 AM
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my top is off, and I still can't think of what it is I had to say...
and also, it's mighty cold..
posted by
Kiddo75
on May 6, 2006 at 6:50 PM
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Chris ~ This is why we need a wall around the U.S.
One with gun turrets every twenty yards. The last thing this country needs is an influx of genetically inferior badgers from Europe, not to mention pastey-skinned Anglo-Saxons with bad orthodontia, contaminating our racially superior badgers.
Live free or die, Pedro, and I'm thinking the latter.
However, I'm as open to a good sheep buggering as the next guy. Bring two of your sluttiest and I'll forge some papers for you.
posted by
mark2556
on May 5, 2006 at 1:51 PM
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Mark:
I'm pleased with the information you have provided in this superior guide. Unfortunately there seems to be no advice regarding the illegal immigration of badgers. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be an illegal non citizen and profit from your filthy toilets and pizza delivery requirements. But it just wouldn't feel right without my beloved farm of badgers, sheep, and Mexican sheep, which I'm sure we can all agree provide the ultimate form of illegal entrances. Oh baby...
posted by
chris2303
on May 5, 2006 at 11:03 AM
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R-Mtn ~ Yes, professionally.
Sorta brings a whole new meaning to the word, doesn't it?
posted by
mark2556
on May 5, 2006 at 10:40 AM
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LOL Mark! Quite right, I believe!
You have to admit, it would be funny as hell....Aliens whispering secrets about the future into the ear of the Frenchman....Comets crashing into the earth. People fleeing for the lives.
Of course people do tell me (and you too) that we have a warped sense of humor.
posted by
Passionflower
on May 5, 2006 at 9:27 AM
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PF ~ Couldn't I do one on the end of France as we know it?
All it would take are some kids in alien costumes throwing rocks at them. Where do I find graphics of Frenchman wetting themselves?
OOPS! I did a Google search...I guess the question shoulda been, Where do I find graphics of Frenchmen NOT wetting themselves?
posted by
mark2556
on May 5, 2006 at 4:00 AM
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Wow Mark.....
this is amazing stuff! Do you publish professionally? I loved this, very funny. I like your kind of humor!
posted by
RckyMtnActivist
on May 4, 2006 at 9:18 PM
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OMG! You're right, Mark!
It IS Panthers instead of leopards. But aren't they all about the same?
Anyway, I'm getting a new GPS for the car this year so I won't spend quite so much time in football stadiums and ditches.
Oh what am I saying????? We both know the world will end on May 25th...right? Remember how we thought it would be cool if we were makiing out when hurricane Jeanne made landfall? But it wasn't? LOL!
The actual reason I dropped by was to ask you to do one of these for the Frenchman. Do graphics that depict Aliens and comets splashing into the Atlantic Ocean and the end of mankind as we know it. That would be much cooler than a bunch of illegal aliens.
Do REAL aliens...the kind that drive Starships and make funny noises and do wierd experiments on....hey!! You're not from an alternate universe, are you?
posted by
Passionflower
on May 4, 2006 at 8:08 PM
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D-Thoughts ~ One for every pound of Ted Kennedy.
Which is roughly $300 million. Bonus dollars if they hire Ted Kennedy to drive them back over the bridge.
posted by
mark2556
on May 4, 2006 at 7:22 PM
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LOL
Nicely done. I think we could arrange some federal funds for distribution at border checkpoints. How many millions would you like?
posted by
DarrkeThoughts
on May 4, 2006 at 6:00 PM
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Chelly ~ Scriber didn't pull that "Show me where it itches" trick, did he?
Anyway, I hope you remember whatever the frig it was you were gonna say. I'm sure it had something to do with wanting me, and I mean in the carnal way. Take your top off and concentrate.
posted by
mark2556
on May 4, 2006 at 3:02 PM
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Mark...Scriber's comment fucked me up...hahaha.... I was about to
say something else then saw "and they're cheap to go down on".... and what I had to say was blown to shit...lol.... Ahhhhhhhh..
posted by
Kiddo75
on May 4, 2006 at 7:48 AM
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I admit it...
I thought it was funny. Do you think many illegal alien bloggers are going to boycott me now? I admit I am prejudiced by having an uncle who retired from the INS...
posted by
FactorFiction
on May 4, 2006 at 6:47 AM
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Nice set of wheels. I don't envy the driver. Lol.
Here are the trophy clicks. Thanks.
(A)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 4, 2006 at 5:01 AM
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Ben ~ They're everywhere.
But we know how to deal with those swine.
Viva America, comerado.
posted by
mark2556
on May 4, 2006 at 4:18 AM
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Might there be Commies amongst the gringos?
3 more in the line up. Thanks for participating,
(B)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 3, 2006 at 7:03 PM
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Scriber ~ There are plenty of illegal immigrants ready to be picked.
They made the news again....out in droves yesterday and today, making up for the shopping they boycotted, spending money they didn't make on Monday. Hahahaha! Brilliant. I'll buy one of them for you, but you owe me, and I mean in pesos.
posted by
mark2556
on May 3, 2006 at 1:48 PM
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u are really down on the illegals. And they're cheap to go down on.
Where is a good sexy illegal when u need one? I'm looking fo the three for five dollo special.
posted by
scriber
on May 3, 2006 at 7:51 AM
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Ben ~ Thanks for the click and illegal netizens.
I've put them to work building a new wing on the cafetria here. Once they're done I'll contact Immigration. These buggers need to learn the value of free labor.
posted by
mark2556
on May 3, 2006 at 5:38 AM
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Dearest Passionflower ~
You don't have a crappy sense of direction.....you have NO sense of direction. Crappy would be a substantial upgrade.
Yeah, lots of people wind up in Everglade City when they're trying to get to Ft. Lauderdale. It's only, oh, 200 miles in the wrong direction. And those are panthers, not leopards. Leopards are in Africa, which is still somewhere beyond Norway, I think.
I'm looking forward to this year's hurricane season. I still have two cases of MRE's to eat and 78 hours of porn to review.
posted by
mark2556
on May 3, 2006 at 4:51 AM
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Hi Mark, I've missed you.
How have you been? Are you ready for hurricane season 2006? We're expecting another biggie. I hope you still have your hurricane survival kit handy. I really enjoyed my time in Miami last year. Talk about aliens......OMG!! There's some fairly strange folks hanging out in Miami.
I've never heard so many different languages spoken in one city! You'll be happy to know I still have a crappy sense of direction. Remember when I accidentally wrecked my car in Alligator Alley but I was supposed to be on I-95?
Last year I was trying to find Ft. Lauderdale (it's alot trickier than you know) and took a wrong turn and visited Everglade City. What a lovely place! They have signs along the highway that warn you not to get out of your car bec there are leopards running wild. What's up with that?
posted by
Passionflower
on May 2, 2006 at 9:40 PM
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Sending more illegal and legal netizens your way! You have 3 clicks for winning the guess. Thanks for playing.
(B)
posted by
A-and-B
on May 2, 2006 at 6:08 PM
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Damon ~ Haha! We still have plenty of legal immigrants to do the shit jobs
Just becasue a person can lay sod for $6/hr doesn't mean they get to bypass immigration laws. Thye could, you know, try entering the LEGAL way. What a concept!
posted by
mark2556
on May 2, 2006 at 5:54 AM
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Man, You Have...
...WAY too much time on your hands!!
Perhaps in a later installment, you can do a brochure explaining how the American economy can get back onto it's feet after all the illegals have left? You could come up with some motivation technique to get ordinary Americans to pick fruit in California, slaughter cattle in Kansas, clean subways in New York or process chicken for McDonalds.
I know that Americans won't do these jobs at the moment, as there are plenty of cheap illegals to do it for them. However, if you point out to them it is their Patriotic Duty to do really shit jobs for really low pay, I'm sure they'll understand.
Adios, Amigo!
D
posted by
DamonLeigh
on May 2, 2006 at 5:39 AM
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Meaning last after you. That would be lasting way after you. Lol.
posted by
A-and-B
on May 2, 2006 at 4:59 AM
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A&B ~ You laugh. You think this is funny, gringo?
You funny guy? We kill you last.
posted by
mark2556
on May 2, 2006 at 4:47 AM
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Nanaroo ~ Muchas gracias.
posted by
mark2556
on May 1, 2006 at 6:48 PM
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Blackcat ~ Yes, purple jeans are muy mal.
Well, except for the men's version with elastic waistbands, which are sorta hot to the ladies. I get mine at Sears.
posted by
mark2556
on May 1, 2006 at 6:44 PM
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Hahahaha.
posted by
A-and-B
on May 1, 2006 at 6:23 PM
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Mark2556
Really darn funny!
posted by
Nanaroo
on May 1, 2006 at 6:07 PM
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LOL... that was very informative... especially the part about purple jeans.
posted by
-blackcat
on May 1, 2006 at 5:49 PM
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I'm glad this helped.
And please try to uphold your own "Day Without Immigrants" by not, uh.....
using them this evening.
posted by
mark2556
on May 1, 2006 at 5:14 PM
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This is helpful indeed. Gracias por nada!
posted by
Ariala
on May 1, 2006 at 3:50 PM
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