Go to coolacen
            - Add a comment
            - Go to Don't Leave Me Father
        
        
                
                
                    Nice poem!
                
                We need his help or what would become of us.  I liked this one very much. Nice work!
  Take care,
  Blipps
   
                
                    posted by
                    blipps
                     on April 21, 2006 at 9:37 PM
                    | link to this | reply
                    
                
            
                
                
                    Cool, since you asked for my feedback
                
                there's precious little about you in your profile -- so I can only assume your writing style is pure and natural, and you haven't had a lot of classroom training. Your strength is in the meter, in the beat, and you have an eye for rhyme.  If I were your mentor, I'd suggest you keep writing, keep going, and along the way get some objective training from a teacher who knows poetry and grammar. In a wink of time you'll be seeing your ideas blooming on the pages of literary magazines... :)pat_b
                
                    posted by
                    Pat_B
                     on April 21, 2006 at 8:36 AM
                    | link to this | reply