Go to MELANCHOLY MADNESS ....
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Thanks lensman ....
I know what you mean about my writing. Things get easier as time passes and such. I know that people do in fact understand how I am feeling in general. It just feels good to write it ...know what I mean?There is always someone worse off at any given time. For me, I know she is dying but at least she is dying from an illness that gives us both some time to say all the things we want to say. Had this been a heart attack etc we would be left with memories and unspoken words. During the moments when all I want to do is rip my hair out or die (sad to say) it helps me to simply write the feelings out whether I would follow through with such thoughts or not ... basically it is the act of typing the exact moment to moment feelings that acts to remedy my sadness .... I truly appreciate your comments ... today was one of the tougher days ...
posted by
Dark_Dreamer
on April 19, 2006 at 9:19 PM
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There's something...
...in your post that seems to say, "Don't even pretend to know how I'm feeling." So I won't. What I'll say is that I recognize your words and I recognize them for a reason. Your powerful love for your mom comes through loud and clear. So does your dread. When we're in a deep depression it seems it'll always be that way. It won't though. It's amazing how, some day in your future, you'll have some reason to be extremely happy, and, with her experience in life, your mom would probably tell you the same thing if you asked her. Peaks and valleys. That's life. The love you and your mom have for each other will survive the valleys. Sure wish you the best
posted by
Lensman
on April 19, 2006 at 7:57 PM
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..hang in there, pal...
..maybe try and release some of it by drawing.. doesn't matter what or how 'good'.. just let it out... it's saved my butt on more than a few occasions...
posted by
MasonGarrett
on April 19, 2006 at 1:35 AM
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no problem is irrelevant, they all need to be honored and addressed.
and then moved on from. you say you don't want to pay a therapist, i hear you on that one.
here's an idea. you're already paying for blogit. write here. read others. as you said, you're not alone in your thoughts and feelings. blogit's filled with emotionally crippled people. yes, we each have our own cross to bear, we're all alone when it comes to that but the walking together is pleasant and we have some laughs along the way.
and thanks for stopping by my way, come by anytime.
posted by
fourcats
on April 18, 2006 at 11:59 PM
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