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Hi Factor...
Things are better right now but that has more to do with what I did than with her behaving. I turned the ringer off and Tom is getting me a cell phone so I can control when she contacts me. I know it sounds terrible but this may be the only way I will keep my sanity.
Mike's Goddess
posted by
mikes_goddess
on April 17, 2006 at 11:09 AM
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Hope things are better now...
funny thing about being a mom...it's hard to remind yourself that your child has aged! Sometimes they need to have that pointed out to them...
posted by
FactorFiction
on April 17, 2006 at 10:55 AM
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Another book that you might find helpful...
Is
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. It was an eye-opener for me, and I have a good and relatively healthy relationship with my parents. But it helped me understand the effects my abusive marriage had on me, and how I could overcome the baggage. There's a book and a workbook that goes with it. I just read the book -- no time in this single mom's life for workbooks!
posted by
editormum
on April 16, 2006 at 10:57 AM
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I will have to look that...
book up. I know I should not let her make me so furious but she knows all my buttons. I am out of town today so she can't reach me. So far I've done nothing but smile.
Mike's Goddess
posted by
mikes_goddess
on April 16, 2006 at 4:48 AM
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MIKES G
I think you said it well when you said, 'if she weren't my mom, well then I wouldn't be having tea with her.' Your relationship with your mother sounds very reminicsent of the relationship or lack of the one that I have with my own mother. Here's the deal: We don't get to chose our parents but we certainly get to decide if we want them as friends. It took me all my life until a few months ago to realize I was never going to please my mother but it was about time I pleased myself. I no longer play 'mom's games' not worth my time and effort for the outcome remains the same. Yada, yada, yada. If you get a chance read Dr. Laura's book, 'Bad Childhood, Good Life.' This book, (although I do not agree with the Dr. 100% of the time not even 70%) really gave me a clear perspective into why I have chosen to be part of this twisted relationship between my mom and me. Good LucK
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on April 14, 2006 at 5:10 PM
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There are no apostrophes...
because when I took the moniker I could not get the program to let me have them 
. Notice I always sign Mike's Goddess. I thought about changing my moniker but then you guys would not know it was me and I couldn't think of a moniker with Tom's that really worked and frankly I talk about him so much that I am sure no one is confused 
Mike's Goddess
posted by
mikes_goddess
on April 14, 2006 at 3:25 PM
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Dear sweet Angel....
Thank you. She has pushed my buttons so bad today. I feel guilty but I think I am going to change my phone number. I talked to the administrator at the home and she has promised to call me if anything arises. This may be the only way I can keep may sanity. Thank you for listening to me vent
Mike's Goddess
posted by
mikes_goddess
on April 14, 2006 at 3:22 PM
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Mike's Goddess
Mother is the invention of necessity.
Incidentally, why is there no possessive apostrophe in your name, huh? LOL
posted by
ariel70
on April 14, 2006 at 2:54 PM
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Mothers can be very... critical, can't they?! I dread my mother coming to
my home, I never know what to say to her on the phone and at a few days from 36 years old, I am still worried about what my mother will think of this decision or my house keeping abilities or a number of other things... I pray daily that I never make my children feel the way my mother has made me feel all my life...
I say, you have to do what is healthy for you! You are not alone in the problem as you well know, just vent away!
angel 
posted by
anglofinspirtion
on April 14, 2006 at 2:51 PM
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