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- Go to Top Ten Most Creative Euphemisms for "Milking One's Lizard"
I'm sure most guys here have shared similar experiences.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on March 14, 2006 at 1:11 AM
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No. 7.
Yes, I once glanced into my pants and the teacher caught me. It was embarrasing but I answered:
'Mum, I was just checking if I attached my Willy today.'
The class burst in laughter and I was sent out of the classroom for half an hour.... regards.. Prof.
posted by
PROF-SUMAKEL33
on March 14, 2006 at 12:22 AM
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Yep. That's what I was referring to.
And, all of mine
are venomous ... to varying degrees.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 24, 2006 at 2:08 AM
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mpo,
I saw the tarantula ones on the way here. I'll check to see if those are the ones you're talking about. There are giant brown tarantulas in Arizona. They aren't venomous, but I've heard that they have a pretty strong bite. Their mouths look almost like a parakeet beak.
posted by
Jack_Flash
on February 24, 2006 at 1:24 AM
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Also, new pet photos have been posted.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 24, 2006 at 12:48 AM
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Oh, I see...
I just wasn't sure if you were referring to the post or to the conversation I was having with Blanche.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 24, 2006 at 12:47 AM
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MPO,
Well, thinking about centipedes is creepy, but compared to the weeny whack names it made cntipedes seem like a discussion of the smell of roses. Don't worry about smart. I often confuse myself.
and that has nothing to do with.....I can hardly say it <<lizerd milking
>>
posted by
Jack_Flash
on February 24, 2006 at 12:21 AM
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I will undoubtedly be writing about it at some point, Jack...
Still don't get the centipede line, btw. Maybe I'm not as smart as I thought?
Nah.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 23, 2006 at 6:10 AM
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Thank you, saul.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 23, 2006 at 6:07 AM
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MPO,
That's an interesting application. Let me know how it comes out. I have thought about it, but that kind of test gets me really irritated. I know about where my numbers are, but IQ tests make me want to throw a chair through the window and escape. I have known a couple of people who were Mensa members, and they had some really huge ego problems. Mensa has a usenet news group, and I have seen stuff there. It's like ''how can I cope with this world of stupid people.'' I'm sure they aren't all that way, but it seems pretty common. I think they have a website, which I'm sure you could easily find.
I am really curious to hear about your experience with them. 
jack
posted by
Jack_Flash
on February 23, 2006 at 1:50 AM
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I nearly fell off my chair, M.P.O. Funny stuff. The altar boy line and
the Thurmond line were especially priceless.
posted by
saul_relative
on February 23, 2006 at 1:17 AM
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So...
is that where you've
been? And, what you've been
doing?
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 22, 2006 at 9:36 AM
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#2, more than nasty!!!
So where are the top ten "Euphemisms" for "Spending time with my two little sisters"?
posted by
Captain_Gulliver
on February 22, 2006 at 7:53 AM
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Well, her name is Bush.
(A)
posted by
A-and-B
on February 22, 2006 at 5:34 AM
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Thanks, Ann.
Was that some sort of filthy double entrende, btw?
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 22, 2006 at 5:32 AM
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The answer came out of the bush. Good job.
(A)
posted by
A-and-B
on February 22, 2006 at 4:48 AM
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Oh I know she would, Blanche...
but I'm not (quite) at that stage yet.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 11:46 PM
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Jack, what are you talking about?
btw, you'll appreciate this ... I've applied to Mensa!
I had a post about it (up for like two seconds), but I pulled it because I felt it could be misinterpreted as condescending.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 11:44 PM
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Can you un-post it? If it's on Ariala's photo blog, try asking her to
take it off. Just suggestions.
posted by
Blanche.
on February 21, 2006 at 11:37 PM
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MPO,
Uhhhh...well...maybe those poisonous centipedes wern't so bad after all. I mean...jeez.
I wasn't here.
posted by
Jack_Flash
on February 21, 2006 at 11:37 PM
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I now wish I hadn't posted one ...
I think it's done me "more harm than good" ... in several different ways.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 11:35 PM
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Grrreat!
I forgot to mention I got one email asking why I didn't post a picture. I'm not morbidly obese, I just had a feeling. Hello, I'm not looking for a date here. Me have man.
posted by
Blanche.
on February 21, 2006 at 11:30 PM
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I've never experienced anything close to that, Blanche ... thankfully
And, as I said, the vast majority of emails I receive are very nice and respectful ... I just don't care for the ones that solely involve lusty comments on my appearance.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 11:29 PM
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MPO,
I've only encountered one creepy emailer. I commented on a blogger (who's gone now), when she wrote some mildly risque' post (don't want to get into it, since there are creepy emailers lurking). After I made that comment, I got an email from Creepy Lurking Email Guy (CLEG), it started out fairly innocent, then after I figured I'd answered his email and that was that, he emailed me with WAY too much information about his love history. I told him that it was TMI, and not to email me again. He's the one and only person that I've blocked. I didn't take the next step and report him, but I would have it hadn't ended there.
posted by
Blanche.
on February 21, 2006 at 11:17 PM
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I actually hope to get my boyfriend to return some day (to take another shot at Blog It).
Misty even moreso.
~ Thank you for the compliment.
~ And oh yes, you would not believe the number of emails I get. Most of them are sweet ... others extremely creepy.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 10:52 PM
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MPO,
Nasty sports-oriented humor? There's gotta be a niche for that. I like your posts, they're witty and skewed in an off the wall way. You get emails?
posted by
Blanche.
on February 21, 2006 at 10:46 PM
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I actually started out on Blog It, filling in for my boyfriend...
after he decided the people here were definitely not the intended audience for his type of writing (nasty sports-oriented humor).
Occasionally, I feel as if it would be kinda nice to develop a bond with others here ... then I read some of the emails I receive.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 10:39 PM
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MPO,
He used to make fun of me for blogging, now he's hooked. I'm not exactly "in the club" here myself, stick around you'll make friends.
posted by
Blanche.
on February 21, 2006 at 10:29 PM
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I mean, "close outside of Blog It" ...
Now that Misty is gone.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 9:29 PM
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I would say "No" ...
Hold on, you date Professor Peabody?
I guess I'm, like, the only person without any close friends here.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 9:28 PM
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MPO,
How bout "downloading your Palm Pilot"? (c'mon what were they thinking naming it PALM pilot anyway?) That was courtesy of my wiseass boyfriend, Professor Peabody. He also wants to know if using both hands counts as "group sex"? What do you think?
posted by
Blanche.
on February 21, 2006 at 8:58 PM
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Amendment:
My boyfriend (who has plenty of firsthand experience on the topic) suggested a few more:
Taking little Elvis to Graceland Whizzin' jizm Spackling the ceiling
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 8:40 PM
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I wasn't sure if anyone else would get that one, Decshak...
but in this household, the late great senator from South Carolina = "comedic gold".
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 8:34 PM
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Priceless.
Stromming the Thurmond.
posted by
WindTapper
on February 21, 2006 at 4:03 PM
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Yes, you've won in the blogger blog. Congrats! Your prize clicks are here.
(B)
posted by
A-and-B
on February 21, 2006 at 2:16 PM
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Thanks, A and B ...
and I suspect I'll be seeing (one of) you two here again, very shortly.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 2:10 PM
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Glad to see you "got the message"...
"Gumby".
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 2:09 PM
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That's the point, Scriber...
creative = obscure (and sometimes, even,
inexplicable.)
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 2:08 PM
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Thanks for sharing, Billy...
sounds like your friend is a real classy guy.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 2:06 PM
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Funny list.
posted by
A-and-B
on February 21, 2006 at 1:51 PM
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Number 2. is... XD
you sick girl! XD
posted by
Gubby
on February 21, 2006 at 1:37 PM
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not bad, but the first one might be explained for the uninitiated.
posted by
scriber
on February 21, 2006 at 1:16 PM
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This isn't really a euphamism but a couple of months ago a divorced
friend and I were sitting at the bar when he made a hole with his left hand and poured some of his beer down it (and out onto the bar). I asked what he was doing and he said giving his girlfriend a drink. BTW -He was drunk.
posted by
FreeManWalking
on February 21, 2006 at 1:05 PM
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Just 300.
LOL
posted by
curator
on February 21, 2006 at 12:55 PM
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Yeah, it was extremely difficult to pare them down...
All I did was ask three of my friends, my brother and two of his friends ... and altogether I would guess we came up with maybe
300 that we had heard used in various instances.
posted by
Mademoiselle
on February 21, 2006 at 12:44 PM
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Geez. I always thought "beat the Bishop" was a good one too.
posted by
curator
on February 21, 2006 at 12:41 PM
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