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Unfortunately...
male-bashing is one of about two or three acceptable prejudices. I'm aiming to make all forms of prejudice - male-bashing included - absolutely unacceptable, even in fun. It shouldn't be acceptable to joke about men, just as it's become unacceptable to use the N word in polite conversation to refer to blacks.
posted by
kidnykid
on September 5, 2003 at 11:22 AM
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HELLO! IT WAS MEANT IN FUN!
If you cannot plainly see that it was a joke then I don't know what to tell you. I have been married almost 18 years. Amazingly, my husband thought it was funny, as it was meant to be. Lighten up and get your boxers out of a wad!
posted by
Sherri_G
on September 3, 2003 at 9:34 PM
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Thanks...
for noticing the same thing I noticed.
There is just something - I don't know what, but something - that teaches some (maybe most) women that we have every ethical right to bash men. I agree that it's bizarre behavior. Certainly my own faith teaches me by implication that it's wrong (that's why I went into such detail in earlier posts, and in other blogs, about how this behavior undermines the theory of "total self-donation").
Trying to get emotional support when things are working right is almost impossible. We women aren't perfect, and yet I don't ever hear of men going back to the common 1950s behavior pattern of denigrating us. (You know, "I have to take over the finances because she bollixes up the checkbook" and similar statements.)
posted by
kidnykid
on August 22, 2003 at 9:57 AM
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Confessions of an Anti-Basher
I was married for seven years to a good man. Not great husband material, as it turns out, but a good man nonetheless. We had good times and bad as all marriages do. If I were truly having a problem with him, I discussed it only with my mom, or privately with a dear friend from work. I worked with a fairly large workgroup in my company (thirteen people, 10 of whom were women). My ex-husband and I had had an argument that morning, and I had left the house feeling quite upset about it. Although I maintained my feelings regarding the argument(meaning, I still thought I was in the right and he was in the wrong on that particular subject), I felt badly about how we had had to leave the house upset, with the discussion unfinished. I decided to call his work voicemail(he was on territory manager, so spent most of the day in his car, and checked voicemail about a dozen times per day), and just let him know that I was sorry about how our morning had gone, and that I'd like to be able to continue the discussion, but without all the anger. I assured him we could come to terms on the matter, and told him I loved him even though we were arguing. The workgroup I sat in at that time, had an open floorplan, so of course no matter how quietly I spoke into the phone, all could hear me. I didn't care. I wanted to leave him this message so that he would know I was thinking of him. When I hung up, I was immediately barraged by the females in my group, who actually had the nerve to criticize me for my trying to bury the hatchet! "I wouldn't have done that Roberta". "Berta, I can't BELIEVE you did that"! "Why should YOU have to apologize"???
I was astounded. I couldn't believe that A) they didn't have the class to even PRETEND they weren't listening to my voicemail, B)they had the nerve to act like because I was the woman and he was the man, that he was automatically wrong, completely undeserving of an apology or any kind words from me regarding the argument, and C) that it was ANY of their business at all. I simply let them know that my behavior was simply that. Mine. I also let them know that just because they could hear my message to my husband, that it was a private matter, and that I simply felt better having tried to get our day back on track, rather than leaving it with the negative tone from that morning. Thankfully, one of the gents in the group, spoke up and said, "Hey Bert, I think it was nice that you tried to patch things up like that. As a fellow husband, I'm sure he'll appreciate the gesture". I felt better after that. I get so SICK of hearing these women bash their husbands just for the sake of bashing them. They all drive mini-SUV's, have beautiful jewelry I KNOW our little salary doesn't pay for, they take beautiful vacations each year, they get flowers on all the right days, and have beautiful homes. I know not everything should be about material possessions, but these women are obviously well-cared for, and have been married for more than one decade each. If you are so unhappy with your husband, then leave him. But if not, if he had good points, let's hear em! If you don't have anything nice to say, I'm done listening!
posted by
Berta
on August 22, 2003 at 9:28 AM
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Actually
....if you date a jerk just to have something to talk about you're an idiot. That is just bizarre behaviour. There are a lot of things that undermine successful marriages.......and I think that women can be just as big of jerks as men. Maybe men don't gossip as much?
posted by
desertsong
on August 21, 2003 at 12:21 PM
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