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My friend, Cee......
This is a poem of both heartbreak and courage. I'm so proud of you for finally calling it "over". I felt this man was using you all along and never had any intentions of leaving his wife. You came out of it so lucky, now you must concentrate on making Jay happy and putting Mike away for good. He was never as good for you as you thought.
Ceemarie, today if the first day of the rest of your life. Put the bad behind you and look forward to the good. Your poem says you are ready to do that. You go, girl!
posted by
MaggieMae
on January 31, 2006 at 8:27 AM
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Hi Angela-
day for epiphany
love not a coward
Thanks for dropping me a line because it shows you care,
Although I cannot see you, at least I know you're there.
I think you're right, I cared for him more than he cared for me,
It's time for me to write him off, my love no more shall he
Take lightly yet politely with his words my heart abuse,
For in the world of sweet romance I bitterly refuse
to be taken for granted, my gift he did not seek.
And Love's soft petal traces not the tear upon my cheek.
The rosy bloom of love renewed he ne'er my soul to find
for Love's soft petal traces not the feelings in my mind.
He cares not if I live or die, my message he decried
and goodbye means goodbye to me he has but lied
over and over he had said I ne'er again shall lose
his essence and his love for me a fool I was to choose
A clown for love I did become, his world no longer holds
The spark of life he granted me into his icey folds
His lies doth take me evermore and death before me looms
He cares NOT he has told me, my death before him looms
I care NOT now I tell him, and death to him presumes to take my life
I'm not his wife I have no wedding band
to show our love left in his heart not on the sea or land
the altar was denied us by his own doubting hand
and love's sweet petals mean goodbye my love fore'r denied
my gentle lips have kissed his own, their ardor cast aside
as worthless yet invisible, goodbye must mean goodbye.
My bosum friend, my kindred mate, I bid you your goodbye.
My love I do rescind into the icey depths, goodbye,
Michael, my love you've lost yourself, goodbye must mean goodbye.
CeeMarie, Jan. 30, 2006
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on January 29, 2006 at 12:10 AM
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I think the "Coward" email was appropriate.
I wrote about that recently. Sorry that this has happened, but you knew it was going to happen eventually, somewhere inside, you knew. He has made his decision and now you are left with the broken heart/soul. I still can't help but feel that he meant much more to you than you to him and that is horribly sad. I hate what he is doing to you and I wish there was something that I could say to make any of this easier. Chin up, just doesn't seem to work, huh?
Thinking of you, hope today is better, missing your musings!
Angela
posted by
anglofinspirtion
on January 28, 2006 at 12:08 PM
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Hi angela-
Well, actually, no. Yesterday I got the second kiss off letter:
"Goodbye must truly mean goodbye."I e-mailed, as a last resort, his business e-mail and put in the subject line, "Call me please," and I get a letter that said (basically - these are my words) ever since he has given 0% to me and 100 % to his wife, he's learning how it feels to fall in love with her all over. He is committed to her and in order to move forward, "Goodbye must truly mean goodbye."
Is this classic marriage counselling 101advice or what, basically where they tell Mike, "you schumuck you, we warned you that she will beg, plead, try to manipulate you, but if you are really committed to your marriage, you'll stand strong against her." It's like he's said to me, "Now what part of kiss-off and leave me the hell alone don't you understand?" I am just such a fool, I am. I don't even remember entering this blank blog. You are so sweet to check up on me, Ang. Thanks, sweetie! I sort of told my husband but not why I'm all of a sudden in such a sucky mood. I should show him the e-mail. Know what? I sent Mike a one word email that probably burned the last bridge. It went to his yahoo email and in the subject line I wrote "Coward!" Think he'll get the message???
Cee
posted by
LadyCeeMarie
on January 28, 2006 at 7:48 AM
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Cee, you okay?
posted by
anglofinspirtion
on January 28, 2006 at 5:57 AM
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