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Gets better
And better.
Aberjhani
posted by
Aberjhani
on January 19, 2006 at 8:35 PM
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Quite a wonderful vacation
you've got going on in this story. I could use a vacation to the tropics. Great story
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on January 1, 2006 at 4:23 PM
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Nice...the sound of a saxophone could lure me....
posted by
Original_Influence
on December 30, 2005 at 7:42 PM
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Thanks straight forward.
posted by
MsVision
on December 28, 2005 at 8:58 PM
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Bud
Your constructive criticism of my writing is welcome. You are it seems a man of actions. If it is spontaneous sexuality you are after there's plenty of it to be found in the mature audiences section. My personal life in that sense is not up for discussion.
posted by
MsVision
on December 28, 2005 at 8:58 PM
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The first line or phrase was cliched but the rest wasn't
posted by
Straightforward
on December 28, 2005 at 8:12 PM
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Ms Vision you asked if it would be better to join the gym or skip 3/week
Of course you know that the question would draw the attention of the outrageous Bud Oracle
You asked for it Down-under babe...... So I gave your fiction a buzz.....
You'll find me honest and unwilling to blow smoke up your anal orifice. (Unless it is pot smoke it could cause cancer)
Your fiction, in my humble opinion, from the #8 and latest blog is a bit vague to me. You have the potential. Though you do have an eye for detail, you spend to much time with nuances that fill in space but don't add to the story.
Don't take this the wrong way, but read it through yourself from the begining and see if your attention doesn't wander while you go through the detail. Where is the action which causes people to behave with passion. Nothing seems to happen as the author goes through the machanics of painting the scenes. The dialogue doesn't seem natural and seem to be for filling in more background but still nothing happens of consequence to keep me interested.
I through a lot of my words out before I found some worth reading again. Focus on carrying a simple story with passion somewhere that keeps the reader wanting to find out where you are going and then don't tease him to death, deliver something for his efforts to read you all the way.
I don't care who's name is on the cover of a work. If they don't carry the last chapter I've read and left me satisfied and craving to turn the page, I flip the book over to the couch so that I don't forget to return it to the library. There's only so much time left to read and I resent it when someone who is less of a writer than me and has a few books out wants to waste my time just because he is a great marketer and has sold his books to the publisher. Yes fools will buy them and soon you see them unread in yard sales.
Sometimes I've discovered here on Blogit, through subterfuge, by adding little quirky turns to my stories or questions that demand answers, that a few people will read a bit and leave a superficial comment to lure you into clicking theirs. For them it's all about the clicks. For other's, we'd like to raise ourselves into better writers and so by giving an honest read and making an effort to comment in a constructive way, rather than to curry favour, we will achieve a common goal. Hopefully I'll get honest feedback back, because I'm afraid of anal cancers.
I have found writers here, whom I can hardly wait for the next post from. In this world you are only as good as your last piece of writing, and the ability of it to draw, hold and amuse the reader.
It was hard for me to get the concept that it didn't matter what I wanted to write. What is important, is what people want to read.
Now with my tongue in cheek, but hopefully on the mark, advice to your question of the excercise and perhaps your writing could use a bit of it, too.
Add a bit of spontaneous sex to your life, and stay fit by riding the sexual tension of the mainspring of life, daily.
posted by
Bud-Oracle
on December 28, 2005 at 6:59 PM
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MsVision
posted by
kingmi
on December 28, 2005 at 5:48 PM
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MsVusion, Good fiction here. Thanks for the visit and comment!
posted by
kingmi
on December 28, 2005 at 5:48 PM
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an intriguing world you do bring to life...
posted by
teddypoet_TheGoodByeFade
on December 28, 2005 at 5:28 PM
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It's good to see that you are still going on this. It seems to be going well.
posted by
Azur
on December 28, 2005 at 5:12 PM
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you are right it only works as the stuffing here is small and very fine
its a very delicate asian dish with a tiny bit of minced shrimp and peanuts or some small curls of fine seaweed, and some light good quality soy sauce mixed with sesame oil over the top
posted by
MsVision
on December 28, 2005 at 2:24 PM
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MsV, looks interesting , but ----
'stuffed tofu'?? Having worked with tofu quite a bit, that's a hard dish idea to grasp ---- it would be impossible to do that I think --- the tofu would just fall apart. Pls tell me if I'm wrong.
Thanks for visiting my Costa Rica Blog.
posted by
ARGUS
on December 28, 2005 at 2:13 PM
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oops not the punctuation again
Will fix soon. Thanks for your kind words.
posted by
MsVision
on December 28, 2005 at 6:02 AM
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MsV
There is a nice story shaping up here. Watch the punctuation :). Good piece
-smartdog
posted by
smartdog_670
on December 28, 2005 at 5:59 AM
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