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BrightIrish,
Thanks for your prayers and well-wishes. As I have said to Tapsel, Avant-garde and word.smith, there just aren't enough words to express my gratitude.
posted by
RAME
on December 23, 2005 at 1:15 PM
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Wordsmith,
Thanks for your kind words and well-wishes. They are very much appreciated.
posted by
RAME
on December 23, 2005 at 1:14 PM
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Avant,
Thank you for your kind and heartfelt words. As I told Tapsel, I appreciate so very much the prayers and support from you and so many other bloggers. It means the world to me and there aren't words enough to express that. You are a special friend.
posted by
RAME
on December 23, 2005 at 1:13 PM
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Tapsel,
Thank you for the beautiful poem. I can't express how much your support and that of so many other bloggers has meant for me while going through this. I appreciate it so much!
posted by
RAME
on December 23, 2005 at 1:10 PM
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"I said a prayer for you today.
And I know God must have heard.
I felt the answer in my heart,
Although He spoke no word.
I didn't ask for wealth or fame,
I knew you wouldn't mind.
I asked Him to send treasures
Of a more lasting kind.
I asked that He'd be near you,
At the start of each new day,
To grant you health and blessings
And friends to share your way.
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all "
--anon
posted by
TAPS.
on December 19, 2005 at 7:11 PM
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RAME
I wish there were something I could say to alleviate your fears, but I won't speak falsehoods. My dad died from brain cancer in 1989, and the Christmas of 1988 was one of the most poignant of my life.
Your anticipatory grief is worse now than it will be at a later date; I know that from experience. Don't try to understand all that you feel. Just feel it and give it expression. It will make sense later.
I have a special place in my heart for you, and I wish you all the best. God bless.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 19, 2005 at 6:47 PM
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It's natural for us to want to keep our loved
ones with us, even when they are in ill-health. It is at this time that family means the most. Hang in there and God Bless.
posted by
word.smith
on December 19, 2005 at 6:34 PM
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Rame
The confusion with your emotions is very understandable and I know how hard and frustrating it can be. You and your father will stay in my prayers. A favorite quote of mine referring to God is " If He brings you to it.... then He will walk you through it! " God Bless you and yours. 
posted by
BrightIrish
on December 19, 2005 at 4:02 PM
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Tiel and Passionflower,
You both echo my own thinking, though it is a load to do my thinking right now. I know what you are both saying and I agree with you completely. Thank you both for your words of comfort. There are not enough words to express my gratitude for your kind words. Thank you both again.
posted by
RAME
on December 19, 2005 at 1:18 PM
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I had a family tragedy at Christmas 5 years ago.
So I completely understand what you're saying. When it would get close to Thanksgiving, I'd start getting depressed and cry alot. It took a few years to get over.
I guess my only advice would be to take one day at a time. Try not to think about tomorrow and what might happen. What will be will be. You're correct in saying that it's not in your power to make things happen the way you want them too.
If you do really, truly trust God, then let your Dad go - give him AND all your worries to God and say, "Here it all is, Lord! I give it to you trusting that you know more about what's best than I do. Please help me to leave it in your hands and not worry anymore."
In Phillipians 4:6 it says "Don't worry about anything but pray about everything." And then in verse 7 it tells you that if you'll do that, then this will be the result, "And the peace of God will guard your hearts and mind."
Above all, be thankful that you were soooo blessed to have such amazing parents.
posted by
Passionflower
on December 19, 2005 at 12:53 PM
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Rame
My heart goes out to you. Of course your mixed emotions are so very normal and natural. Please don't be afraid to feel them or question yourself about them. I know how you are feeling. My parents both lived to quite old age. My mother to be 100. My family was very close and we all managed to live fairly near to each other, some in the same city, which meant that I have endless memories of Christmases with my parents. And so, even though I have children and we are all also very close, Christmas will never be the same for me without my beloved, wonderful parents. So, I know how you miss your mother and how you are so dreading your fathers' upcoming surgery. Dear, Rame, pray that God will give you the courage to let your father go in your heart, if that's what His will is. Thank the Lord, you KNOW that they both will be forever and ever alright.
posted by
Tiel
on December 19, 2005 at 12:44 PM
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