Go to The Impossibility Of Knowing
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- Go to Take, Take, Take From Me But Give Something Back Too
One question is - why?
Why do we give, give, give and fail to get? Starts out as a parent's necessary contribution to the survival of the species. We give up sleep, a social life, even sometimes adult conversations, while growing new little persons. It's almost instinctive to let this form of sacrificial nurturing continue long after it's counter-productive, and even carry over into other relationships. We need to stop doing that. If we feed and support someone who's capable of taking care of him/herself, we not only make that person weak and dependent, we risk becoming worn out and resentful. :)
posted by
Pat_B
on December 15, 2005 at 7:09 AM
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JohnMcNab, I suspect that they won't even notice
-- we can all move on and be the better for it
posted by
Azur
on December 13, 2005 at 9:00 PM
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MayB
When you withdraw, MayB, the people who take you for granted won't change their attitude and after a period of time will forget all about you.
posted by
johnmacnab
on December 13, 2005 at 8:13 PM
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Mayb,
It is true, that a kind word does a lot to restore the spirit, and some acknowledgment that getting through your day is an accomplishment that takes energy. Maybe you need to take some time to nurture yourself?
posted by
Blanche.
on December 13, 2005 at 7:17 PM
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You are so right, MayB and I have done my share of withdrawing for a time in this life.
posted by
TAPS.
on December 13, 2005 at 9:26 AM
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I agree...
But, as mothers and writers, it's often hard to stop giving and start receiving! Great post. 
posted by
RachelAnna
on December 13, 2005 at 9:15 AM
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I know what you're feeling...writing is such an isolated area of life, and it's nice to hear feedback from people. I was going nuts (as you remember a few months earlier) about getting some feedback on my novel. I'd been getting feedback from readers, but I was dying to have some professional feedback. I finally got my editorial evaluation back from my publisher and got really good scores and comments. My novel is with a new publisher right now being considered for possibly getting published under their label. Even if they reject it, I am hoping they give me some critiques.
posted by
Narek
on December 13, 2005 at 9:12 AM
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I can't argue with that....
All of us do need to be nurtured and appreciated, moreso when we are caregivers.
posted by
word.smith
on December 13, 2005 at 9:03 AM
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So very true MayB. So very true. I hope you nourish yourself and are invigorated soon.
posted by
syzygy
on December 13, 2005 at 7:50 AM
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Quite an insightful post. I have been hearing this adage:''there is happiness in giving than in receiving'', but as you rightly put it in your post,I think a two way sort of help is better than the adage I afore mentioned.Once again congratulations.
posted by
Flame-thrower
on December 13, 2005 at 7:01 AM
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May B...
I'm feeling on your post:)
posted by
Marshallengraved
on December 13, 2005 at 6:28 AM
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MayB, Great Post! I hope you become replenished soon!
posted by
Original_Influence
on December 13, 2005 at 4:10 AM
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MayB,
posted by
Original_Influence
on December 13, 2005 at 4:09 AM
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MayB
It's easy to see who will not give anything back to a relationship, for whatever reason. It is draining.
posted by
avant-garde
on December 13, 2005 at 4:02 AM
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Passionflower thanks for that
I don't think I've got it so bad as that ;-)
posted by
Azur
on December 12, 2005 at 8:49 PM
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So which blogger was that Ariala ;-)?
posted by
Azur
on December 12, 2005 at 8:45 PM
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I was once in many relationships like you speak of....
One-sided. Me always giving..others always taking. It's called a "Co-Dependent Relationship". It means that you have no boundaries and will allow others to trample on your very soul if they need or want to. It stems from poor self-esteem.
You tell yourself that everyone else is important and matters, but you don't. Guess you can tell...I've had some counseling for the condition...lol!
Stand up for yourself! Learn to say no!
posted by
Passionflower
on December 12, 2005 at 6:32 PM
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Amen to that...I just spent 30 minutes giving my time to someone who not
once asked how I was doing and what was new in my life. This is a person I haven't talk to in a while...all was via IM. All this woman could do was cry about her problems. She saw nothing in life but her own misery. I just told my husband that I feel as though my energy was robbed from me, and I am needing a "cleansing" from what she just put me through. Good post.
posted by
Ariala
on December 12, 2005 at 6:18 PM
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