Comments on >>> How do you pick your friends? - - - Is it by the beliefs they hold? <<<

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homegirl -you've made the assumption that the individual is borrowing money
When such is neither stated nor implied. This individual happens to be a longtime business client, whom I can count on to pay his bill ... on time, every time.  

posted by gomedome on December 7, 2005 at 7:07 AM | link to this | reply

since when does someone who needs to borrow money

on a regular basis gets top ranking...

Virtue to me is being able to handle your own business without dragging other people into it.

posted by homegirl on December 7, 2005 at 6:58 AM | link to this | reply

Hemlocker - that episode is now over
I just can't waste another minute teaching a dog to talk.

posted by gomedome on December 6, 2005 at 1:49 PM | link to this | reply

Lensman - that sounds like a pretty good definition to me
And it must be inter-denominational...there is no other way.

posted by gomedome on December 6, 2005 at 1:48 PM | link to this | reply

Gomedome
Virtue is moral excellence, as I understand it, and is something that's not always fully achieved by flawed humans, but which most of us are at least striving for.  It includes reliability, honourable conduct, respect for others and many more.  The best thing about virtue is that no one group has a strangle-hold on it.  It's non-denominational.

posted by Lensman on December 6, 2005 at 10:58 AM | link to this | reply

gome--

This must be why I have no friends.

Incidentally, your comment re Odysseus's recent post was so right on, it made my eyes water.

posted by Hemlocker on December 6, 2005 at 10:36 AM | link to this | reply

Xeno-x - I have to agree -- honour and respect are the key elements to any
relationship, while virtue is entirely in the eyes of the beholder. The funny part about all of this is that the individual who suggested that I was lacking in virtue, did so in the process of manufacturing a lie to make his point.

posted by gomedome on December 5, 2005 at 6:21 PM | link to this | reply

the saying

"there's honor among thieves"

raises its head.

people are strange in a way

there can be things others detest about them and then you find an honorable way ob being at the same time.

maybe honor is a necessity.

don't know abouit virtue

that's a word that's defined by the definer anyway.

to me -- it's dealing well with others -- understanding the other enough to exhibit utmost respect.

posted by Xeno-x on December 5, 2005 at 2:01 PM | link to this | reply

Gubby -- thanx -- I do not hold any hope of changing anyone
or even influencing anyone to any measurable degree. All one can really hope for in a small forum such as this, is to plant the occasional food for thought seed.

posted by gomedome on December 5, 2005 at 12:55 PM | link to this | reply

Right on, as usual..

 

Hey, Gome, didn't you say you were changing your blog?

Can see why you didn't though. It's addictive, isn't it. Somewhere, at the back of your mind, you still imagine that one day you'll actually get one of them to wake up and smell the roses...

It surprises me that none of them have, in fact. The arguments are so airtight that the only thing that they can think is, "he's wrong, obviously, I just can't work out why".

posted by Gubby on December 5, 2005 at 11:16 AM | link to this | reply

blackcat30 --- right on

What better qualifiers are there to pick our associates than what you have described? I can't think of any. 

posted by gomedome on December 5, 2005 at 9:09 AM | link to this | reply

I don't care what people believe....
What matters to me is how they treat me, others and themselves.  I'm all about loyalty and integrity.  Be openminded and have a damn sense of humor.  The rest is just details. 

posted by -blackcat on December 5, 2005 at 9:02 AM | link to this | reply

RckyMtnActivist - that's exactly how I feel
a person's actions say it all. Not what they say (if that makes any sense)

posted by gomedome on December 5, 2005 at 8:10 AM | link to this | reply

Talion - I can identify with that

Our family moved south to civilization just in time for me to enter high school. Socio-economic barriers virtually insured that my early teen associates were poor folk and amongst them was a budding criminal element. Tough economic times, lack of alternate oppurtunity and a malignancy in prevailing societal attitudes, led these young people from an agricultural area, into pot cultivation. Big time drug dealing with guns at the ready and thousands of dollars involved in every transaction. I was never a part of it myself, nor did I maintain any of these relationships into later stages in life, but one particular visit home from college in my early 20's underlined the trust that these people had afforded me. I stood in a barn, talking to a friend about some unrelated business with over 100 kilos of pot behind a tarp.......though I cannot distance myself from the harsh realities of this criminal activity........I have never experienced a sweeter smell in my life.   

posted by gomedome on December 5, 2005 at 8:07 AM | link to this | reply

Gome....
I think what is in your heart is what matters most. People with open hearts are compassionate, kind and loving people. They are usually respectful of others beliefs and deserve our respect regardless of our differences.  I, like you friend can swear like a sailor yet I would literally not hurt a fly.  It's the intention behind the words and if not said in anger have no power. Some people "curse" words are just part of their personality, some use them, some don't, I do.  I was always told that I have the appearance of a classy woman with a mouth of a truck driver.  Must be the Gemini in me! Great post!  

posted by RckyMtnActivist on December 5, 2005 at 7:58 AM | link to this | reply

Ariala - same here -- where I know that a lot of people place belief or
adherance to a particular faith system as a important criteria for determining their associates, I'm just the opposite. (big surprise).... I've found from life experience that those who profess their faith the loudest are quite often the least trustworthy.

posted by gomedome on December 5, 2005 at 7:56 AM | link to this | reply

gomedome
A few years ago, I took my wife to a good friend's wedding. You should've seen the look on her face when she realized the collection of gang-banging, drug-dealing, armed and dangerous, wanted felons she suddenly found herself rubbing shoulders with. What surprised her most of all was the ease I fit in with them. Well, why wouldn't I? They're my friends, regardless of the fact many were involved with illegal activities. Virtuous is a word even I couldn't use to describe them, but there's a level of honesty and respect necessary to build and maintain a friendship. Everyone couldn't trust them, but I could, and that's good enough for me.  

posted by Talion on December 5, 2005 at 7:55 AM | link to this | reply

Gome, I have the same approach to people as you do...if they can
demonstrate that they are trustworthy and respect others, they become my friends.  Belief and faith have little to do with it for me.  In fact, I find that those with belief and faith can often times be too judgmental and ready to preach to me things I already know.  I don't need that in a friend...I need people who are fair and able to think objectively and with an open mind.  Good post.

posted by Ariala on December 5, 2005 at 7:28 AM | link to this | reply