Go to Earth Magic
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Isa
The alternative is unthinkable.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 11, 2005 at 2:59 AM
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brisbane artist
You are so right about that. Once self has been forgiven, it is seen everywhere.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 11, 2005 at 2:58 AM
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Avant garde...
Each time i feel discouraged, an inner voice reminds me that i have no right to give up on my dream...i know that i will go to the end...i really have to:)
posted by
Marshallengraved
on November 11, 2005 at 12:22 AM
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Being
able to forgive parents - then extends to self - and then to others and then
whoosh
we can heal the world!!
Jo
posted by
brisbane_artist
on November 10, 2005 at 6:21 PM
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Ciel
Yesterday, Lucas came to me crying and I went to Sam. I asked him what he did very calmly. He said matter of factly, 'I hit brother. He touch me.' I just said, 'Don't hit brother.' I am so glad that they feel safe to tell me the truth of things. My only hope is that I can continue providing an environment where it will remain.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 1:48 PM
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brisbane
What I am learning is that I am human. It's funny that you forgive your parents when you become one. I think my dad was a very wise man, despite his angry outbursts. I wish he were here to share in my joy.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 1:46 PM
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Isa
You have a long row to hoe with your situation. You have many challenges and obstacles. It's a wonder that you remain upbeat most of the time. I admire your perseverance and dedication to your dream.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 1:45 PM
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First, there is a book the title of which was enlightening to me,
and to my maternal guilt impulse. It is called A GOOD ENOUGH MOTHER. It brought home the message that we don't have to be perfect to raise good kids. It is a true thing, that the child brings much of him/herself to the process, and it is more important to teach them how to learn, rather than what to learn.
Second-- one of the things my parents taught me in an inverted way: Lying happens in an atmosphere where it is not safe to tell the truth. So I have always tried to make it safe for my kids to be honest with me, and they always have been. As far as I know... 
posted by
Ciel
on November 10, 2005 at 12:53 PM
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Do what you can
Where you are
with
What you have.
Parenting is a hard task most people do the best they can. It is great that more resources are available these days so that parents can get advice and help when they need it. In the past such help was rarely available,
Thanks for the convo it is stimulating,
Jo
posted by
brisbane_artist
on November 10, 2005 at 12:39 PM
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avant garde...
i sometimes feel like I have failed as a parent...i used to be very close to my sons, but it looks like the communication is sometimes broken...both of them want to be alone in their rooms...we barely ever spend some time together...
posted by
Marshallengraved
on November 10, 2005 at 12:02 PM
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Clearly
I write these things to get my mind on what I should be doing and thinking about. Blogging is much more about teaching myself than anyone else. If someone needs help, hey that's a bonus.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 11:53 AM
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renigade
Sometimes I don't feel so worth of the title. I think it's important to apologize to my kids when I've screwed up. They realize that you are human, too.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 11:52 AM
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malcolm
Isn't that the truth! When I'm playful, everything just breaks wide open. I don't realize how powerful my presence is to them most of the time.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 11:51 AM
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sannhet
I've been learning some great lessons the past few months.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 11:50 AM
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flamethrower
You realize where your priorities lie, and it shows. Do not regret not visiting my blog: if I see you occasionally, that will be plenty. Take care, my friend.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 11:50 AM
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So it is...
Great teaching...thanks for sharing its reality.
posted by
clearlyperceived
on November 10, 2005 at 10:45 AM
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avant--very insightful. You are a better father than you give yourself
credit for...
posted by
Renigade
on November 10, 2005 at 10:25 AM
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A very touching post
and some good comments already? As a father, I relate to almost everything you say. Certainly loving myself is hard. I love my wife and children, but me? It's certainly true that, if I'm happy, the children are noticeably more relaxed. When I'm silly or off-the-wall they absolutely love it. Now, where's that Humpty Dumpty costume again?
posted by
malcolm
on November 10, 2005 at 9:15 AM
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Avant -
Aint it amazing where and how we learn our lessons?
posted by
sannhet
on November 10, 2005 at 8:26 AM
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What a great compliment you left at my place today. I am very sorry for reacting this late. I have to finsish work come stay with my son because his mother is sick. In between those times I have to try and reply and also write something for the blog. Hence I do always reply with some long delays. Hopefully you will bear with me.
posted by
Flame-thrower
on November 10, 2005 at 6:58 AM
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Ariala
Thanks for the advice. I have noticed, however, when I have expectations about myself that they get projected onto the kids. Whether it be success in business, writing, or just general well-being, when I judge myself I find that I'm doing it to them.
The message I wanted to convey with this post is that the more I learned to love myself and let go, the better the kids actually are. When I'm happy and content, they are very peaceful. Anyone who's been a parent knows this. I think the trick is shooting for it when the opposite has been created.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 10, 2005 at 6:24 AM
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avant, don't be so hard on yourself, my friend.
posted by
Ariala
on November 10, 2005 at 5:41 AM
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