Go to Coincidences, fate, or destiny?
- Add a comment
- Go to Who Is At Fault?
Cosy...You have one thing no one can ever take from you......
And that is a beautiful soul. This post was well-composed and honest. And I am sorry for what has happened to you. But I also know you have the strength to forge ahead.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on October 23, 2005 at 7:38 AM
| link to this | reply
cosy--
For those who insist we always have a choice, well, even whenit seems we do, sometimes we really don't. I don't think anyone who hasn't been in that situation, can really understand. I'm glad you can forgive your mom, but forgiveness doesn't have to mean "it's okay, forget about it." Hemlocker
posted by
Hemlocker
on October 19, 2005 at 10:54 AM
| link to this | reply
It's great that this realisation has come to you
and that you have the humility to apologise! I say that this is better late than never.
posted by
Straightforward
on October 19, 2005 at 10:32 AM
| link to this | reply
Cosy, I think that people who have not been through such terrible circumstances will never truely understand.
posted by
TAPS.
on October 19, 2005 at 8:02 AM
| link to this | reply
Cosy
This is so sad, I am sorry it happened to you! I don't understand people who stay with abusive husbands or wives. I guess there is more about it that I should know, but thank God I haven't been in a relationship that I felt threatened. I did take a shot at my x husband, but that was only with a gun, I missed!
posted by
Offy
on October 18, 2005 at 8:58 PM
| link to this | reply
cosy--I watched as my mother allowed my father to commit many
horrible crimes against her... I can see where you are coming from, but bear in mind that you were a CHILD, and she was an ADULT. Your motivations for being quiet were much different. It's still sad, though, no matter how you look at it. I hope you are able to move past it--if you haven't already. Take care.
posted by
Renigade
on October 18, 2005 at 8:55 PM
| link to this | reply
Totally disagree ...
to say there must be some sort of logical and sane explanation why someone stays in an abusive relationships is just, well, insane. And the fact that you could have said something, cried out, to stop the abuse that you experienced, but didn't, again, does not mean you can now empathize or sympathize with your mother.
The feeling of identifying with the victim is only possible in the shadows of what constitute a healthy, happy life. Once exposed to the harsh light of reality, they are revealed for what they are, sick and twisted perverted behavior that robs a child of her innocence.
I sincerely hope you get professional help so you don't pass this feelings of guilt and blame to your children. I hope you raise them to have the courage to shout from the rooftops, "This is WRONG and I will not ALLOW you to do this to Me!"
posted by
fwmystic
on October 18, 2005 at 8:42 PM
| link to this | reply
Why
I guess the phycology behind it isn't enough for me to understand why someone would put them self through an abusive relationship. I've dated and met survivors of abusive mothers, fathers, and boyfriends even. All of them are emotionaly scarred for life. Some even think that that person who abused them can stgill love them, It just dont make sence to me. I guess just call me Boggled in blogitsville.
posted by
inkedforlife
on October 18, 2005 at 7:04 PM
| link to this | reply
Cosy....
I have seen this go on all to many times in my lifetime. It is very sad and my heart does go out to anyone living in this terror. Cozy.. I am sorry this happened to you and hope with all my heart that you will gain strength everyday!
posted by
BrightIrish
on October 18, 2005 at 6:57 PM
| link to this | reply
cosy
Unfortunately, it happens all too often. The woman feels that maybe she provoked the man into hitting her. She does not realize that there is no excuse and maybe the hitter is the one that put such mindless thoughts into her head.
As far as a child goes, they do not have the same thought process that we as adults have. They feel guilty and keep it in.
It is a shame that it has to happen at all........I am sorry that it happened to you and your mom.
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on October 18, 2005 at 4:32 PM
| link to this | reply
cosy
I had a good friend who was murdered by an estranged fiance. If I'd only known what was happening, I might have been able to stop it. I know she took every step to ensure her own safety, but it slipped through the cracks.
posted by
avant-garde
on October 18, 2005 at 4:08 PM
| link to this | reply