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Offbeats, you are amazing, too.
You were so fun to talk to last night.  You know so much about history and politics, it was really great to chat about all of that -- even with our differing view points we really see from a common view point so often.  And, you helped me so much, so generously, even in your time of need, that's truly special.  I have always liked to reach out to people because I know what it is like to not have a way out of something, and it helps me to think about someone else...sometimes it helps me feel grateful for what I have, sometimes it just reminds me that there is a lot I can still do in this life.  It's a natural instinct, and I've had angels come into my life many times to lend a helping hand, too, so it seems fair, too.  Thanks for this comment, it was very sweet.  xoxo

posted by Temple on October 21, 2005 at 2:28 AM | link to this | reply

curator, I appreciate you reading and trying to catch up.
I don't post to this blog very often, but they are most often long and heavy topically.  Thanks for the effort.  I get discouraged, but I find my way out and get something done.  It's a cycle that I go through.  Writing here helps me sort it out, so you can be sure I will keep writing and keeping everyone posted. 

posted by Temple on October 21, 2005 at 2:25 AM | link to this | reply

Libby, you're never lame.
I always appreciate your efforts, so don't feel that way.  I know exactly what you were trying to say, and sometimes it's hard to find the right words when your own heart hurts.  I think life works itself out in it's own timing, but we don't have to be alone if we are open.  I'm just impatient for changes....all kinds of them.  But, that doesn't help, so, like you said, we just do what we can do. 

posted by Temple on October 21, 2005 at 2:23 AM | link to this | reply

Wow, your going thru all this and yet you still reach out to help others...you are amazing Wendi!!

posted by Offy on October 19, 2005 at 9:23 PM | link to this | reply

I've just "met" you
and am trying to catch up -- but goodness, what you've been through!  Of course you feel discouraged sometimes, but keep blogging and keep me/us/everybody posted.

posted by curator on October 19, 2005 at 11:34 AM | link to this | reply

Well I'm finally catching up and reading and commenting.  I know that feeling of helplessness when you don't know what to say to someone, but I always seem to come up with some lame offering!  I know I can't say or do anything to make you feel better.  None of us can, but know that we care.  Even though I have no idea what it's like to go through a brain injury, I can relate to much of what you said.  That feeling of being alone; we've talked about that before. Maybe some of us are meant to walk through this life alone. Who knows?  All we can do is all we can do, and to move forward.  I'm not making much sense. I'm having a bad couple of weeks. What do I know??  Take care of yourself!     

posted by Holy_Grail on October 18, 2005 at 4:02 PM | link to this | reply

May, you often do say useful and kind things.
Just reading and leaving comments to me is kind....these things always make me happy.  I love the little things, don't you know this about me yet?  The new blog is true nonsense.  I haven't done any of that yet, might feel nice not to polish up.  Just things I want to say, or ramble, whatever, without putting in a Gidget style post.  Might be worth a giggle here and there.  I'm a dork most of the time. :)

posted by Temple on October 17, 2005 at 6:51 AM | link to this | reply

I know you don't have expectations about that
but nevertheless I can't help wishing I could say something useful. I will watch your new blog with curiosity

posted by Azur on October 17, 2005 at 5:48 AM | link to this | reply

Jimmy, I know you care, love.
I've always know that.  I've also known you've always wanted to do more.  Alas, that was our demise, no?  I learned so much from you and us, and I'm grateful that you are still around to be odd on the phone with me. :)  Call waiting, a demonstration>> ::: beep ::: "Hi baby, <fill in blank here with mushy gross love talk>.  Okay, I'll call you back in a few. Love you, too." :::click:::  "Wen?  Yeah...sorry, what was I saying...?"    Ah, modern technology. ;)

posted by Temple on October 17, 2005 at 5:12 AM | link to this | reply

Flightpath, I appreciate that very much. Thank you. :)

posted by Temple on October 17, 2005 at 5:06 AM | link to this | reply

May, there really is no need to apologize....I don't have expectations.
I think I'm miscommunicating....my point is that often people distance themselves and say nothing from what they cannot fix or do not understand.  Or what they fear.  I often fit the bill on one of those things in life, and here on occasion.  On comments, in reality, I have no expectations. I just noticed a correlation. I appreciate the reads even in silence...and even without the reads I'd probably still write since it's good for me.  I don't think it's greedy to want something for yourself outside of your family.  I think it's healthy for us, in fact.  I just miss the days like in 4th grade when you could walk up to someone and say, "Hi!  Wanna be friends?" and that was that.  I know in time it will sort itself out (blech).

posted by Temple on October 17, 2005 at 5:05 AM | link to this | reply

I still care and wish I could help more...

You are one hell of a strong woman, I know that the day-to-day grind is wearing, but it hasn't worn you down yet...peace...

posted by jimmy68 on October 16, 2005 at 10:21 PM | link to this | reply

I know, Temple; and you portray it all... write it all, so very, very well, even as you struggle for solutions...for solace.

posted by reasons on October 16, 2005 at 9:42 PM | link to this | reply

I was only picking up on something you mentioned in comments about lots of clicks and few comments. And in saying "appropriate" I only mean that one can't help feeling that such a deeply considered post deserves a deeply considered answer. I think that almost every time I comment I apologize because I want to be able to offer more.

It is isolating when you reach out and people pay no or little heed.

A miscommunication on my part I fear - by speaking about waiting I was not intimating that you are waiting to start. I was trying to express, and clearly failed to do so, that friends or people in our lives seem to come along but not necessarily in the roles for which we might be casting. I was trying to say that I don't know how we go about finding such friends. If I tried I couldn't find them and then it just happens.

I remember having to rebuild when I started over alone. Even now as I start over, I have a family, yes, and perhaps I am greedy, and unusual but it is not enough. In my former life I had a friend with whom I spoke almost every day about anything from the heavy stuff to dull domestic stuff. She was alone. We each cared about how the other felt each day. Friends are great but it is that real sense of caring and being cared about which helps us through the days. I hope this happens for you again soon.

posted by Azur on October 16, 2005 at 9:41 PM | link to this | reply

Flightpath, I understand what you're saying.

However, having love around....family around...a partner in life....makes life much easier.  When you have someone to share your struggles with, someone in your physical space, you really are not alone and you don't feel so alone....at least I don't.  This is what I was trying to portray.  I appreciate your thoughts very much.  Thank you for reading.

posted by Temple on October 16, 2005 at 9:18 PM | link to this | reply

Temple - When you write that "Day to day for years now, this struggle is mine and mine alone," you speak of all of us, whether our struggles are large or small. In that way, you never ever will be alone.

posted by reasons on October 16, 2005 at 9:13 PM | link to this | reply


Well, I guess I wouldn't say it's the "appropriate" response, or that it's not the place for my post.  I have friends here that know me well and not all are rushing through.  I did not say anything about who read, but I do know the breakdown of who it was for the most part....I do think it represents how things go in real life.  People don't know what to say, whether answerable or not, so they say nothing.  And in life, as here, that feels -- and is -- isolating.  We don't need to answer the questions or fix the problems to offer support, warmth, solace, friendship in our own way. 

I haven't waited for people to rebuild my life, it's just a section of my life I want to rebuild.  I have no family, no husband and children, in my life so it's not just about friends....it's about people.  I want to start to feel like I'm part of the world again.

posted by Temple on October 16, 2005 at 8:33 PM | link to this | reply

I think that the tons of clicks but few comments is the appropriate response to posts such as yours. It is not really the place for the folk who are rushing through. Were the breakdowns of clickers available you would see I think that you have significant number of people, like me, who return a couple of times before commenting. You might find too if you could go into their minds that some visitors feel inadequate to say much because in a way you are expressing yourself and knowing that much of what you describe is not answerable. We know that we don't face your challenges and yet we feel tested by our own challenges.

With regard to friends I think that this feeling of needing friends to help us give structure to life is a common feeling. We wait for people so that we can do stuff and sometimes we can wait all our lives. Somehow we must separate the notion of what we think we need from how we interact. I have no idea how to set about to make friends. In March this year I stood in a line for coffee and spoke to the woman ahead of me and the woman behind me. The woman ahead of me I never spoke to again and the woman behind me has become a close friend. If I'd arrived in that queue two minutes earlier or later...

posted by Azur on October 16, 2005 at 6:25 PM | link to this | reply

Thank you for reading....I do have some trouble, these pieces take me a great deal of time, well, longer than before.  I have to edit forever to make sure I used the right words and such.  I even do it for comments to make sure things makes sense.  I keep thinking eventually there will be a breakthrough if I just keep chipping away.  I appreciate the comment. :)

posted by Temple on October 16, 2005 at 4:23 PM | link to this | reply

I want to revisit this. I don't understand enough. Your piece is so well written. You have no problem putting your thoughts together well and onto paper. It appears there is specificity about the malfunctions. We have to figure out a way to over come them. Friends are valuable in life. I lived a long time with few then I found many. We will talk more I will visit again. BB

posted by Justi on October 16, 2005 at 12:49 PM | link to this | reply

It seems I've proven my own hypothesis...or is it theory (dammit Jimmy)...with this post.  Tons of clicks, but no comments.  People don't know what to say and distance themselves here, too.  I've noticed it before.  Hmmm...Scientist Temple.   Or is it professionally trained sociologist Temple? :)

posted by Temple on October 16, 2005 at 4:45 AM | link to this | reply

Edit my Ramblings
That's very sweet of you.  Virtual hugs often get through and I appreciate the thought. :)  Thanks so much for reading and leaving a comment.

posted by Temple on October 16, 2005 at 4:42 AM | link to this | reply

Just sending good vibes....
And virtual (((HUGS))) - not the same as IRL, but sometimes, it gets one through..

Thank you for sharing your soul and your heart.....((((BIG HUGS))))

posted by Edit_my_ramblings on October 15, 2005 at 11:11 PM | link to this | reply

Toker, you're very sweet...
I do get so much energy that lifts me up from this place, from the people here who support me, from friends here, from long distance friends.  But there are those times when my frustration to make things change get the best of me.  I talk myself out of that place usually once a day, but lately it's harder and harder.  That quote is perfect, I did not die...but I speak of my accident as the day of my death because everything was gone, different, in all ways.  A woman with a brain injury like mine said....that you realize that sometimes when your life ends you actually do not die.  I appreciate your good lots and much love, and it is not empty to me.  I believe that this energy can and does often lift me up.  I will come out of the place I'm in fighting, as always, because I know no alternative.  I'm a stubborn bitch, I am. :)  But, dark spaces make scary sounds and sometimes I just wish I had a hand to hold instead of the telephone.

posted by Temple on October 15, 2005 at 5:39 PM | link to this | reply

I wish I had more time to write right now, I'd send you an email. I know it sounds rather lame, but I can soooo relate. I read a quote once, don't exactly know where it's from, but it goes something like, "everything I loved left me, but I did not die." I thought it described what I call "that emptiness" pretty well. Like Cass ...... damn, I wish I were closer. You brought me to my knees once not so long ago, at a time when I felt like the world had put up a "closed to business" sign just for me and laughed in my face. Life can be so frigging unfair when you love it.. can care more for others than you do yourself... try to stay positive despite the hand it's dealt you... try to love God and be a good person,... but there's just nobody there. I wish I could lift you up like you did for me, but I don't know what to say or do. I CARE....I DO........ much love, many, many hugs, and good thoughts your way......hang in there...

posted by Jaxson-Pete on October 15, 2005 at 8:52 AM | link to this | reply

I wish you were, too. 

posted by Temple on October 15, 2005 at 5:43 AM | link to this | reply

I wish I was closer.

posted by Ca88andra on October 15, 2005 at 5:22 AM | link to this | reply

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