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i know there are never really enough comforting words for your pain.  everyone thinks they have the right thing to say, but to the one who is going through this situation, one never really knows what can help.  it's not your fault babydoll.  it feels like it is and you may think you let him down and you are letting yourself down becuase of it.  for whatever reason, it was part of the big plan that none of us have control over.  he lives within you forever. when you smile or see your reflection and you see him in it, it's becuase he's there with you, in you and will always be.  hugs, hugs, hugs

posted by daisysface on September 21, 2005 at 12:52 PM | link to this | reply

Mia,

I'm so sorry for your loss, but don't hold it against yourself...you loved him as much as you could, as he did you.  Some journeys are shorter than others, and he is always with you, and now he is watching over you.  Don't give up on yourself and never let your dreams die.  Dreams are just as important as air and water, without them, life is not being lived to the fullest.  You would let him down if you don't go on, dreaming and living life. 

PS: Don't worry, 30 ain't so bad.

posted by LifeByLisa on September 21, 2005 at 10:34 AM | link to this | reply

Mia,

HUG

I can't exactly relate to what that sort of loss feels like but I have lost people close to me, so I do understand that much.

posted by AlienInsomniac on September 20, 2005 at 8:00 PM | link to this | reply

You didn't fail him Mia...

...you loved him...he loved you.  There is nothing greater between siblings.  It's hard though Mia...horribly hard..and some times are so much more difficult than other times.  Please don't be hard on yourself...I know that's easier said than done...and very strange but as I type this Steve is in the other room playing "Somewhere over the Rainbow" on the piano...my sister's favourite song.  They know we loved them and still love them Mia and love is more important than anything.  Take care Mia.  

posted by ginnieb on September 20, 2005 at 7:52 PM | link to this | reply

Oh Mia...You made me cry. I thought of my little Emily

running to her older and brother and sister as school lets out.  I'm sure she looks at them the same as your brother looked at you.  But believe me, it's NOT your fault.  Cherish those memories--don't let them inflict guilt upon you.  You were/are a good big sister.  Of that I'm sure...

posted by Renigade on September 20, 2005 at 7:48 PM | link to this | reply

Mia

I don't know the circumstances of your brothers death but the way you speak of him when you write leaves me without doubt that you loved him intensely.

I have a hard time believing that you failed him.  Like he was, you are human and our abilities only reach so far.  I wish I had words that would bring you comfort unfortunately, I know there are none.

posted by Bel_ on September 20, 2005 at 6:59 PM | link to this | reply