Go to Krisles Can't Help But Think Too Much
- Add a comment
- Go to TALKING TO MEDUSA.......I'M NO BEAUTY!....WELL, NOT USUALLY
Krisles...what you said...
"My self-esteem was developed as a little girl when I was treated by the adults around me like the greatest thing since sliced bread."
Right there is the key to raising a child (male or female) with high self-esteem. Amen, sister!
posted by
Masky
on September 15, 2005 at 10:28 AM
| link to this | reply
Strat
There you go with that charm again, darlin'......thank you.
posted by
Krisles
on September 14, 2005 at 7:39 PM
| link to this | reply
Mystic
So nice to see you! And I'm not at all surprised you feel the same...I'm sure you see a lot of beauty in those women you work with....I sure hope there's someone like you there when I'm in that position. This shoulder is the pits...I've got to do something until I can get to an ortho....I just don't have time to deal with it...and you're so right - the pain is unbelievable....it's really radiating down the whole arm now.
posted by
Krisles
on September 14, 2005 at 7:38 PM
| link to this | reply
Argus
Thank you for the compliment.....and for the read.
posted by
Krisles
on September 14, 2005 at 7:34 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh,oh...Hi Joe Love.....Yeah, it's my Achille's Heel......
Hi Krisles.....
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on September 13, 2005 at 5:28 PM
| link to this | reply
Wow, I must have missed something
I read Medusa all the time, and I've never thought she had a self-esteem problem.
posted by
Joe_Love
on September 13, 2005 at 5:15 PM
| link to this | reply
Your powers of description are most formidable, my dear.
I can just see your luminosity, even from a thousand miles away.
I bet you do knock 'em out!
posted by
strat
on September 13, 2005 at 12:32 PM
| link to this | reply
Kris
opps, forgot to tell you i hope your shoulder is feeling better. I've had surgery on both shoulders, both elbows and both hands....the one shoulder was the worst pain i have ever endured. hope you aer doing ok.
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on September 13, 2005 at 10:08 AM
| link to this | reply
Krisles
Great post! Remember a woman's 50's are what she was meant to be....rich, rull and transforming, and yes Beautiful! You are so right about how we are beautiful to those who love us. I spend my time with elderly folks and they are the faces and bodies i see and touch and yes I see them beautiful, broken, bent and beautiful
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on September 13, 2005 at 10:05 AM
| link to this | reply
Good post, Krisles
especially the very insightful analysis of how and when self-esteem is really formed.
posted by
ARGUS
on September 12, 2005 at 4:38 PM
| link to this | reply
Kris
this is great, thank you for sharing it.
posted by
Bel_
on September 12, 2005 at 4:12 PM
| link to this | reply
I'm like that as well... self deprecating.... usually in humor.
posted by
-blackcat
on September 12, 2005 at 10:43 AM
| link to this | reply
blackcat
Yes, it makes sense....it's like I was thinking in my initial response....it's like it's something you can control. Like....I usually point out what's wrong about me first for the same reason....drives the husband first because he is about hiding imperfections - like if you don't say it, it does't exist - I'm about hide in plain sight; I'm so honest it throws people off guard and they rarely dig deeper to the truths I don't reveal.
posted by
Krisles
on September 12, 2005 at 10:40 AM
| link to this | reply
Kris... I think I'm more comfortable with criticism because I know who I am
and what I'm about. I can either defend myself... or ignore it. It doesn't change me. Does that make sense? Of course.... it does depend who does the criticizing...
posted by
-blackcat
on September 12, 2005 at 10:34 AM
| link to this | reply
Blackcat
Why can't there be two stars? Again, I just don't understand family dynamics, but need to learn them because of the g-daughters.....and I still don't get the being more comfortable with criticism thing.
posted by
Krisles
on September 12, 2005 at 10:30 AM
| link to this | reply
krisles...don't misunderstand me. If there's one thing I know, that's who
I am and what I'm about. I grew up overnight that day my father died and I've just had to trudge on from there. My brother (2 years older) was the shining star of my family and I've always done everything to support him. I take a backseat... I know I do this... and even if it doesn't seem right, it's the only way I know how to be. So, I guess you could say, I'm very confident in some areas and insecure in others, mostly when the spotlight gets turned on me.
posted by
-blackcat
on September 12, 2005 at 10:27 AM
| link to this | reply
Lensman
Thank you for the "A" for effort.....she does remind me so much of Brenda that I worried I may have gotten too "rough" with her - Brenda and I have some knock down/drag outs over these issues at times....I think people listening cannot believe we are best friends...but we are such opposites, they usually have a hard time believing it anyway! My hope is that parents reading these posts of ours will recognize the importance of helping their little girls to feel good about themselves, irregardless of their looks. I preach to my son-in-law all the time, reminding him that he will determine how my g-daughters let themselves be treated by men the rest of their lives.....we all enter into how little girls see themselves....a happy childhood is not enough; the esteem issue is a complex one. And, thanks for the flower...you know how I love them.
posted by
Krisles
on September 12, 2005 at 10:26 AM
| link to this | reply
Blackcat
I have your situation on the backburner of my brain....I got a call to come work catastrophe duty in the middle of answering your comment and am in a quandry about what to do about that...but I am intrigued by you because you remind me of me in so many other ways....I'm going to have that pot simmering for awhile...I do have some ideas about it but it has more to do with family dynamics and, as an only child, I'm not real sure. Also, at your age, my confidence certainly wasn't as developed as it is now....years of dealing with attorneys and then on a training stage did a lot to enhance that. Being uncomfortable with compliments is common; but more comfortable with criticism is interesting.....probably a control thing.
posted by
Krisles
on September 12, 2005 at 10:21 AM
| link to this | reply
Krisles
Just got your comment on my page a little while ago, telling me to refer M to your post, but it seems she found her own way here.
Great post, Krisles, including the extra peek at you. I can visualize you better now. Also, I can tell you threw your heart into this post. You're a good soul and it was worth the effort, to put it mildly. Makes me mad that a careless comment by some knucklehead can have such lasting power. It's probably the only thing he's done successfully in his life. But I understand it's not only the jock and I'm realizing that kissing scars doesn't make them go away. Sure won't hurt them, though, eh?
posted by
Lensman
on September 12, 2005 at 9:46 AM
| link to this | reply
Blackcat
Well, doing it here is definitely different than doing it in person would be....I don't walk around talking like that in person! I just get frustrated with Medusa for beating herself up because I see beauty in so many different ways, and I see hers come through in her posts and in her comments. I see so much of my best friend Brenda in her....and I have to deal with Brenda all the time....she used to chase after the perfect body, and now it's this surgery and that surgery. She's always after me because I don't see myself as beautiful, but I don't; the difference is, I don't care and that just drives her nuts. I use creams and stuff to take care of myself but that's it. My confidence comes from my love of people and knowing they will love me back.....also my lack of shyness comes from that - although I do have my shy areas. My career also called for a lot of public speaking and interaction....kind of does away with the shyness factor.
posted by
Krisles
on September 12, 2005 at 9:00 AM
| link to this | reply
Medusa
Thank you but it still was useless, I can see. I just see such a beautiful woman come shining through. I didn't think I looked beautful as a little girl either, because my mother was so beautiful....and I could see I didn't look like her. And I always looked unattractive in the mirror if I let myself because I thought I was too heavy because I didn't have a waist. And you've written about having a very happy childhood. And I know you had men after you were in college and in New York and now....so that's what frustrates me and makes me keep trying. You're funny and smart and vivacious and I know you're striking - you've admitted to that before - so everything you are is wonderful and perfectly fine the way it is.....that's what I'm saying to you. To hell with that football player...he is probably fat and popping Viagra to even get it up at all these days - if he isn't in coronary hell.....and I'll bet a lot of those demons of "I'm not beautiful" are in your head. There are not just a few varieties of flowers in the field....there are many. I hear you being your own worst enemy, being blind, being a slave to what "they" say - and I just hate that whenever and wherever I see it because I think it is wrong. I see your beauty....feel it, hear it....I know it's there....and obviously, so have others.....why don't you?
posted by
Krisles
on September 12, 2005 at 8:49 AM
| link to this | reply
krisles... I like when you do posts for other bloggers... very cool.
Personally, I can't imagine having your confidence. I'm more shy and modest than most, and yes insecure too. I'm willing to admit it. I don't take compliments very well. It's alot easier for me to handle criticism. Psychoanalyze that? LOL
posted by
-blackcat
on September 12, 2005 at 7:56 AM
| link to this | reply
Krisles...I can see u in your ruffles and lil petticoat....how cute!
This is a fine post. And I don't mind that my name is used throughout, haha...I understand what you so aptly describe and I admire you for every word you composed for this post...I, too, had a wonderful childhood, but I still suffer from poor self-esteem. See, I was ugly when I was little. I got hotter as I got older. By college, men were stopping by all the time. But from my childhood, there are things you don't forget. And it is difficult to see past them at times. The damage was done back then. There are lots of women who say that, too. That it was rough being un-pretty when younger and that kind of stuff can haunt you even as you grow attractive as an adult. I have a big mouth here, but am extremely shy, believe it or not. Look at Ariala, she has called herslef ugly when she is not. She did that with some photos she put on blogit. But I still think she has good self-esteem and looks because she talks about men looking at her in the store, etc...Anyway, thanks for the post.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on September 12, 2005 at 7:26 AM
| link to this | reply