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Cesium
Well, I respect a mother's desire to see her daughter in love with a wonderful man, and in love with her own children. I respect a mother's need to dote over grandchildren. I didn't say I respected her method of expressing that desire and that need. In fact, I believe I said it really "gets my goat" or something like it. I also respect MiaElla, and the fact that we're discussing her mother. So, "with all due respect" to you and your response to my comment, all of those things have weight in my response to Mia's post, which was not as one-sided at it might have appeared.
posted by
SilverMoon7
on October 12, 2005 at 2:57 AM
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I got an idea. Memory Implants! Total Recall Style!
Forget vacation memories. Come to Rekall for the grandkid memories of a lifetime! For a nominal fee we can provide you with memories of visiting your daughter and son-in-law and those wonderful little crumb crushers that your daughter put her life on hold for just so you could have them.
Think about it, you can pick out and approve of well in advance the guy your daughter marries. You can plan her wedding. She can visit you when she's big as a barn and about to pop. You can be there at the birth of those grandkids and take each one from the nurse before your daughter gets to hold him/her.
And if you
CALL NOW we will deduct $50 from our fee and provide you with framed photos of your fondest memories without charge.
Note: The live-in mother/mother-in-law package is not yet available to the public. The depth of the implant has caused irreparable brain damage in some test subjects. Rekall cannot be held responsible for the daughter announcing she has had it and pushing mom out a window or throwing mom from a train. We recommend that the daughter
NOT watch the Danny deVito movie
Throw Momma From A Train during the settling in period.
posted by
AlienInsomniac
on September 9, 2005 at 7:43 AM
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SilverMoon,
I've noticed that people often begin a statement with the phrase "...with all due respect," but I wonder sometimes how much respect was in fact due. Does the sole fact that someone is more advanced in years give them a blank check to act like an ass? We learn, as we move into adulthood, and hopefully while we are growing up, that respect is something we earn. But how does one
earn the right to disrespect others. In the present case I think that Mia's mom is not respecting her as an adult by making these demands on her. Someone saying, "well I'm your mother, or I'm your father" doesn't mean a whole lot as a justification for driving through someone's life with your horn stuck.
posted by
AlienInsomniac
on September 9, 2005 at 7:15 AM
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Miaella the worst you can ever do is marry
for any other reason other than being in love. I did precisely that, I married to please my mother. Did the whole wedding thing and bam...had a child...I don't regret my son...but boy do I regret the marriage! I am currently divorced...it is your life not anyone elses to live but you!
posted by
cosy
on September 9, 2005 at 5:50 AM
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That's not very fair of Mom to pressure you like that... The ugly comment was just weird and insensitive--regardless that you are NOT ugly. Does she want you to yank someone off the street, straddle him and force a ring on his finger at the same time just to satisfy her grandmotherly inclinations? With all due respect to your mom, stuff like that really gets my goat. Mom needs to be reminded that it's your life, your decision, and when you get right down to it, she doesn't enter into the factoring.
posted by
SilverMoon7
on September 9, 2005 at 1:45 AM
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Hey Mia!!!
Hopefully this will make you feel better..My Dad was on me like that to have a child..A while back, he said "If you're going to have a baby, you better do it soon!" Imagine his surprise when he found out I was with Baby!! LOL Don't burden yourself..Mom will be just fine..Schree`
posted by
Schree
on September 8, 2005 at 8:21 PM
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You poor thing. My mother gave up on me so long ago that she never says a word. I'm one of the lucky single women!
posted by
Holy_Grail
on September 8, 2005 at 8:18 PM
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You don't have to be married to give her a grandchild ...
I've always wanted a son.
posted by
fwmystic
on September 8, 2005 at 8:03 PM
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MiaElla, I surely hope that you are not considering doing what your mother wants simply because she wants it.
posted by
TAPS.
on September 8, 2005 at 7:28 PM
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Miaella
OMG...you poor woman! Even if you did consider her request, somethings still take time!
What a comment "uglier girls are getting married" ....that is a mind blower to me cause I have looked at your photo on Ari's site and I think your beautiful!!
posted by
Offy
on September 8, 2005 at 6:34 PM
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LOL Mia...
Your mom sounds like mine....I constantly hear, "Why aren't you with a man? When are you going to get married?"
My answer is always the same. I don't freakin' wanna be!! It's enough to drive me nuts!!
Good luck, sweetie....I'm sure I'll like the bracelet.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on September 8, 2005 at 6:28 PM
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LifeByLisa
Perhaps we are related...my mom wants me to marry a nice Christian boy....w/ money however....oh, and she says the same thing about my cooking.....hmmmmmm
posted by
MiaElla
on September 8, 2005 at 6:26 PM
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Wow, I was adopted, could you be my sibling?
My grandmother was the same way...except she had the additional clause that I marry a "nice Christian boy". I went to church with Grandma one time, and ran out the door, when they started talking in tongues, I think that's what they called it. According to her, if I would only learn to cook better, I would have a chance at grabbin' up one of them good 'ol boys.
Good luck to ya, I feel your pain. ; )
posted by
LifeByLisa
on September 8, 2005 at 6:10 PM
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Mia,
I am sending you an umbrella so the torrential rains of this kind of crap will miss you. When I figure out a way to keep you from having to step in the puddles, I'll let you know.
posted by
AlienInsomniac
on September 8, 2005 at 6:03 PM
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AWWWW GAWWWD
I've heard those words before and I headed them......and I now happily co-habitate (word?) with my ex. AND my folks didn't die and neither did I.
posted by
ALWAYSALOVER
on September 8, 2005 at 5:56 PM
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BrightIrish
I've tried everything...even the I'm a lesbian bit...nothing works...lol
posted by
MiaElla
on September 8, 2005 at 4:45 PM
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posted by
FactorFiction
on September 8, 2005 at 4:36 PM
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Tell her that ' you didn't want to upset her but you were told a long time ago that you stand very little chance of ever being pregnant.' This way if you do get pregnant then it will be a miricle..
posted by
BrightIrish
on September 8, 2005 at 4:33 PM
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FactorFiction
Both! LOL! I'm in hell remember?
posted by
MiaElla
on September 8, 2005 at 4:31 PM
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is that laughing or crying Mia?
posted by
FactorFiction
on September 8, 2005 at 4:30 PM
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FactorFiction
Muuuuhhhhhhhaaaaaaa...bahaaaaaaa ......waaaaaah.....that's a good one!
posted by
MiaElla
on September 8, 2005 at 4:26 PM
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Try this approach.
Sit her down. Tell her, "Ma, I have this friend on Blogit. Factor told me a story about her friend who decided she wanted a baby but she was in her late 30s and had been recently widowed. So she chose a sperm donor. Ma," you say, "I don't want to deprive you of a grandchild. I have picked out a sperm donor." Now show her a picture of someone suitably horrifying for her. Maybe Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton. Then continue. "I picked him for his good qualities, not his looks."
"Ma, it's going to cost you about ten grand for each try. But I am SURE once you have that baby in your arms, you'll forget about all of the things you had to give up to be able to afford a grandkid. Oh. Here's a list of the things you will need for babysitting too. I have to find that baby a father you know."
posted by
FactorFiction
on September 8, 2005 at 4:19 PM
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