Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
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- Go to I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL HER - HE IS CHEATING ON HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for all your comments....very interesting...
and scriber...is that your way of telling me that YOU mind your own buisness
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 5, 2005 at 6:30 AM
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being a bestfriend means doing the hard stuff
such as letting her know, since I'd actually be upset if my bestfriend DIDN'T tell me. But I suppose everyone is different :) Tough call for you.
C
posted by
caelia
on September 5, 2005 at 1:21 AM
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try minding your own business.
posted by
scriber
on September 4, 2005 at 6:25 AM
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What you could do
if the situation arises again: ask your friend indirectly if they'd want to know. Say you have a friend whose partner is cheating, and you don't know whether to tell her or not. If she says she wouldn't want to know, you have your answer. If she's wise, she'll follow the clue. In this day when sexual dishonesty can lead to fatal consequences, it's more important than ever to be protective of friends.
posted by
Pat_B
on September 4, 2005 at 6:23 AM
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I would and have told my best friend...
it strained our relationship for a bit, but we're back on track and he disappeared out of the picture after he had been forgiven and given a second chance
posted by
littlemspickles
on September 4, 2005 at 12:51 AM
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I would tell MY BEST FRIEND,
but I don't know if I would have told somebody in my circle of friends. I've found most of the time the person cheated on won't listen to you. . , and the teller ends up being punished.
posted by
Joe_Love
on September 3, 2005 at 8:20 PM
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Definitely!!!!!!!!
I ran into that years ago, an old boyfriend was trying to go out with half the women in the city...I always suspected, then it became obvious, and denial was no longer an option. Needless to say I left him, but was so angry that after we broke up all of "his friends" came out of the woodwork to tell me the scoop. I was already devastated then humiliated by them. No one had the courage to say anything while we were still together...Infidelity is one thing I WILL NOT tolerate, been there, done it, it's no fun at all.
posted by
LifeByLisa
on September 2, 2005 at 1:12 PM
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I don't know!
posted by
FactorFiction
on September 2, 2005 at 6:23 AM
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Thank you ever so much for giving me an honest answer SilverMoon7
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2005 at 3:51 AM
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Thank you so much for sharing MayB
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2005 at 3:50 AM
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Wow that must have been awful....MidnightToker
and I know hehehe it is crazy...but if you scroll down we are mostly saying the same thing....LOL
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2005 at 3:49 AM
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Thanks for sharing Military_Wife
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2005 at 3:48 AM
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Thank you Justsouno
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2005 at 3:48 AM
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Thanks for sharing, OFFBEATS
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2005 at 3:46 AM
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Hmmmm ARGUS ....I am not going to answer that...
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2005 at 3:45 AM
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That's a difficult predicament to be in. Yes, I'd tell. and Yes, I'd want to be told. If the cheater were a friend of mine, I wouldn't tell, but encourage my friend to cut it out and/or come clean. I had to let the questions sit for a while, but as I reread your post, I suddenly knew my answer. Yes, on both counts, No on an additional.
posted by
SilverMoon7
on September 2, 2005 at 1:28 AM
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If I knew beyond a doubt it would be very difficult to have to cover up that knowledge.
posted by
Azur
on September 2, 2005 at 12:18 AM
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Symphony,
I've been in that situation. I kept it secret for a few months, then I told my friend during a fit of anger. It was awful because her b/f was kind of like a brother to me. The only purpose it served was a lot of hurt feelings. Don't think I'd tell if faced with the situation again. Would I want to know? Yes!!!! .....crazy, huh?
posted by
Jaxson-Pete
on September 1, 2005 at 11:44 PM
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I can't say 100% for sure
but I strongly doubt it. One never knows what we will do until faced with a situation.
posted by
Bel_
on September 1, 2005 at 9:56 PM
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Symphony, you ask the hardest questions. I haven't a clue whether I
would tell her. It would depend on a lot of things. I think I would know. I always have. A second chance is a very tricky thing. Is this a relationship that should have been in the first place? Can it be repaired. What about true repentance. I just can't answer them. I thought you did an admirable job in the way you handled it. BB
posted by
Justi
on September 1, 2005 at 9:56 PM
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SYMPHONY
I think I would...I would want to know, but I don't know about telling.. I have to think about that portion of the question longer sweet girl!
posted by
Offy
on September 1, 2005 at 8:22 PM
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Symph, could it be that male cheating is genetic and hormonal?
that we've been biologically programmed to spread our seed as widely as possible --- to maximize the likelyhood of the survival of the species? Woman is monogamous but man is polygamous. There's the rub!
posted by
ARGUS
on September 1, 2005 at 5:11 PM
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Thank you for sharing...Ariala
you know it's just occured to me what a hypercritical lot we are....LOL.....we don't mind being told but don't want to be the "tellers"......we are takers....not givers....- because to be honest (that was years ago now) I wouldn't want to tell again.....I don't want to be involved....LOL
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 3:24 PM
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Hello Schree ...Thank you for reading...
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 3:21 PM
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Thank you ever so much for sharing blackcat30 :)
and....(as for your post) men know that we know and still do it...yet sometimes don't you feel a little flattered...LOL...maybe it's just me
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 3:20 PM
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SpitFire70....EXACTLEY......thanks for sharing...:)
...oh and OMG...that "horse" post...oh my...sick errrrrrrrrr yuck.....eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 3:17 PM
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I would want to know...telling would depend on variables, like proof and
circumstance...
posted by
Ariala
on September 1, 2005 at 3:17 PM
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Hi!
It's nice to see you again
posted by
Schree
on September 1, 2005 at 3:16 PM
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I'd want to know.
As for telling my friend, I'd have to have concrete evidence... but still I don't know. I've had friends that already kind of knew something was going on, and they chose to ignore it. Why should I throw it in their face? I think it would really depend on the circumstance.....
posted by
-blackcat
on September 1, 2005 at 3:12 PM
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Symph, you did the right thing.
And yes, I would want to be told. Think about it this way, what if he gave her an STD?
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 1, 2005 at 3:11 PM
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Thank you ever so much for sharing - BrightIrish
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 2:24 PM
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Symphony......
Hi.. I would want to be told only by someone I knew and trusted as it was in your case.. I'm not sure if I could tell or not.. Maybe if it was my best friend.
posted by
BrightIrish
on September 1, 2005 at 2:03 PM
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strat
"good for you" comes to my mind
- thank you ever so much for sharing
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 1:49 PM
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Ann. - Thank you ever so much for sharing...
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 1:47 PM
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lovelyladymonk
makes perfect sense to me
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 1:47 PM
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As a rule, I don't volunteer information,
just because I know I probably don't have all the information. On the other hand, I won't lie for anyone either. If I get the question, I will give an honest answer.
In fact, all my friends know that if they're planning on doing a little extra-curricular Wam Sutta Cha Cha that they better not ask me to lie for them. One of them, now an ex friend, found out the hard way twice. His wife divorced him and took him to the cleaners, and I belted him a good one in the mouth for telling his wife he had been hanging out with me when he was actually bopping the counter girl at one of the used car dealerships.
posted by
strat
on September 1, 2005 at 1:32 PM
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I would tell and would like to be told about cheating. Even though reactions are not favorable.
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on September 1, 2005 at 1:23 PM
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Symphony,
Yes, if it were me I would most definitely want to be told. I would not, however, want to be the one to tell the other person.
Doesn't make sense, does it?
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on September 1, 2005 at 1:15 PM
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gypsyredhead33 ...yes thats true...
because if it hadn't been true then I could have caused a lot more trouble...(but of course it was true)...thank you for sharing
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 12:32 PM
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ginnieb
there isn't any right or wrong answer....what you did was very brave and mature....sometimes it's better not to get involved...I hated to be the one to tell her...I wish it could have been somebody else...but ....um... well.......
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 12:31 PM
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ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh Tan - wow.......
That must have been tough going....Thanks for sharing
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 12:29 PM
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kooka_lives ....thats very interesting...
how you kept it to yourself all this time is amazing....thank you for sharing
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 1, 2005 at 12:28 PM
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I wouldn't to tell the truth.
Unless I actually witnessed it. I hate hearsay. But yes, I'd want to know.
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on September 1, 2005 at 12:19 PM
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I couldn't do it actually...
...I was placed in a similar situation and coudlnt' tell. I just didn't think it was up to me. I wasn't seeing that friend too regularly anyway...we had moved to the States and I was happy that I wasn't in the middle of it. I guess distance kept me out of the loop...and I'm glad it did. Awful situation to be in though!
posted by
ginnieb
on September 1, 2005 at 12:12 PM
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I would have definately told my best friend... I learned that the hard way... my best friend boyfriend a few years ago asked me to sleep with him (wtf) ... but I didnt tell her because she was so in love with this idiot she wouldnt have believed me.. only for her to stay with him and get engaged then break up with hom coz he cheated on her and with several women... i told her what he did later on and now i wish i told her earlier, it might have saved her heartache... if it was me then i want to be told, no matter how painful it might be...
posted by
Tanoolicious
on September 1, 2005 at 11:58 AM
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Interestingly enough
I am fairly sure one of my best friend's ex-girlfriends had cheated on him. Me and another friend ahd talked about after those two had broken up and we are positive it had happened, and even though it was not known to have happened we believe the guy she was cheating with was the reason for the break up. My best friend does not know my suspicions and most likely never will. Since this relationship happened way back in high school there really is no point in bringing it up. We are also fairly sure that if either of us had wanted to she would have cheated with us. There was just something about her and we do know that she cheated on her husband a few times.
posted by
kooka_lives
on September 1, 2005 at 11:53 AM
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