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MayB
Great post....I tend to try to stay out of the arguments around here because people do seem to take opinions so personally. It seems to me that all this taking things so personally has always been a problem but got so much worse in print when we stopped seeing respect given even a tacit nod in so many of our public stories...it's now gotten to the point where some political "opinions" are based on accents and how this president uses words....the hatefulness sometimes startles me. The whole point of this country is difference of opinion...I mean, come on!
posted by
Krisles
on August 11, 2005 at 7:45 PM
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May
Hmmmmm. . , I was wondering where these sudden headlines about hate were coming from. Now, I know. Hard to stay current with the drama when you don't read EVERY SINGLE day. But, I just can't.
As far as your topic, I enjoy reading it. ., but, I really don't have time to get sucked into the drama. LOLOL Though, I have to admit, I'm just DYING to give my opinion.
Instead, I guess I'll just continue try putting out a quality blog for those who take the time to visit me.
posted by
Joe_Love
on August 11, 2005 at 3:51 PM
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Er Dave.... you won't take it personally when I tell you that I didn't post about headlines? I do however agree with your synopsis on them.
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 8:10 AM
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Keep on keeping on MayB. It's taken me longer to read the comments than read the post. I'd say that misleading headlines fall into 2 categories:
- They pull you in and disappoint you - bad - I'm less likely to go back
- They pull you in, don't give you what you were expecting, but give you something better than you were expecting - good - I'm very likely to go back. In the second category, you can often spot the irony if you already know the writer.
The one that bugs me most is:' I'm leaving'. I think it hurts the emotions of genuine fans of the writer. It's a quick win, but a long-term loss. Sometimes people are genuinely leaving and you really do want to say farewell. This cry-wolf lie is painful to all.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on August 11, 2005 at 7:58 AM
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NCWriter, yes I hadn't thought of it quite like that but it probably is an effective strategy to try to "squelch" anyone with a different point of view. It was working with me and then suddenly I thought, that's crazy. It is all too easy to generalize someone or a group right out of existence.
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 6:48 AM
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I agree. It stinks.
But don't squelch what you say just because it could offend someone else or they could end up disliking you. Your opinion counts just as much as theres. Some people can't separate the opinion from the person....too bad for them.
posted by
NCwriter
on August 11, 2005 at 6:18 AM
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JimsonWeed, your comment "i get tired of not being accepted for what I like or dislike, when I am supposed to accept others for theirs..Stupid!" EXACTLY!
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:27 AM
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I don't think many do "hate" Majroj but then as someone who doesn't hate anyone (I do abhor some political figures) it's hard for me to know. But I reckon that it's just too strong to say that just because someone disagrees with someone that they don't like themselves. It's bulldust!
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:25 AM
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Girly-girl, it makes me queasy too. It's like a big huddle of people closes around someone and all you've done is look left when all the others looked right. Don't leave on anyone else's account but your own. Do what you need to do.
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:23 AM
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CunningLinguist, every place needs a chameleon or three and you are the least likely candidate for that job ;-)
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:20 AM
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Katray, sometimes it would not matter how reasonable you are because people can be very close-minded. I think that you should post as you like and let it be their problem if they can't cope with an adult debate
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:19 AM
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Ginnieb, no you didn't miss anything. we all want to be liked/loved and respected too. good to see you
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:17 AM
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Scoop, yeah I guess what I hate is when people take things personally. it makes me wonder how they'd react if something really happened to them
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:14 AM
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Word.smith, sometimes I'm taken aback when people question my motive for offering criticism. I do because I know people can do better and want to see them do better
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:13 AM
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Renigade3, I saw that and I think it was a case of bad-day-itis.
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 4:11 AM
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Benzinha, it is strange that you mention MHW as I was not thinking of him at all or anyone specifically when I wrote about hate. I am used to MHW's flame-throwing and ignore it although I thought his post about child abuse was way off beam and lacked class.
This post was sparked by a lot of comments I had seen on various posts where people were consoling bloggers to say that their critics were only envious or had hate in their heart. I just thought to myself hang on -- can't we even offer an opinion any more?
Re the job--I hope they choose me if it is right for me and if I choose them. as soon as I meet them I shall know.
The literary festival was a blast. Cleared the cobwebs
posted by
Azur
on August 11, 2005 at 3:30 AM
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MayB, MHW lives for these reactions. He writes his headlines to generate
quirky emotions. Hate is a word that he often uses in his headlines. He just likes to hover near the top of the mountain and laugh, I think. Manipulating people is fun for him. I read him to watch him catch the silly flies to land on his fodder and then I watch the comments sections rise to 58 almost overnight.
Some people use different tools to generate readership. I am not together enough to really do that well.
Good luck on your job short listing. May they see the light and hire you first.
Literary Festival ??? I am so jealous.
posted by
benzinha
on August 11, 2005 at 3:13 AM
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Did I say I was leaving?
posted by
Azur
on August 10, 2005 at 9:35 PM
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So don't leave!
posted by
majroj
on August 10, 2005 at 4:59 PM
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You are very reasonable, and I like that about you.
I wish I was more like that, but I tend to over-react to things. I don't hold grudges, but I avoid people who instigate arguments because sometimes- I don't want to argue nor do I care what anyone else's opinion is. Isn't that awful? Take care- have a great evening!
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on August 10, 2005 at 4:57 PM
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OOps, cat stepped on the keyboard.
I was basically going to say that anyone who "hates" someone else here over a blog isn't worth getting upset about. They need to turn off the computer and go talk to some real people for a day or two. It's a website, fergoshsakes!
posted by
majroj
on August 10, 2005 at 4:57 PM
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I am with you too
It makes me queasy when it gets so heated up, and we can't just agree to disagree. that's why I am leaving, although I really don't want to anymore.
posted by
buttsup
on August 10, 2005 at 4:46 PM
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I knew what the point was...
I just didn't want bloggers to hate me. so I agree with everybody!
posted by
CunningLinguist
on August 10, 2005 at 4:38 PM
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I'm with you here!
I get tired of not being accepted for what I like or dislike, when I am supposed to accept others for theirs..Stupid! Good Post!
posted by
SomeoneElse
on August 10, 2005 at 4:35 PM
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Such a sad, meaningless state of affairs May
In politics and current events the air on Blogit is not rare. It has pervaded all forums to some degree.
When I first began expressing my political opinions here, I truly was shocked at the anger and personal attacks. Unfortunately, my skin hardened to the point of tossing milder versions of insults and rudeness right back to the sources. Being called a terrorist because of an anti war stance had the desired outraged response. Fortunately, I repressed it in written form but I have lost my appetite for presenting my views as freely as I once did. I am contemplating revising my writing methods on these issues to hopefully spark meaningful debate instead of mindless argument and character swipes.
Hate is all too real, but you can disagree with the situation or opinion without dislike of the person/persons involved. Emotional sensitivity makes this hard to understand sometimes I suppose. Sorry for the ramble; very thought provoking post May. ;)
posted by
Katray2
on August 10, 2005 at 4:34 PM
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Guess I must have missed something...
...but you made a point, clear and strong. I used to think that if I disagreed with someone they wouldn't like me anymore..it's irrational!
posted by
ginnieb
on August 10, 2005 at 4:26 PM
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MayB
you bring up a very good subject, first I really hate misleading headlines and have figured out who to avoid, I won't even try to read the post because I was caught one too many times and second sometimes I am guilty of jumping someone who disagreed with me, but normally it is after they have attacked me. We all have to learn to roll with the punches and remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion.
posted by
scoop
on August 10, 2005 at 4:15 PM
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If I'm not careful, I cannot separate criticism from a personal attack.
Usually, it has to do with the person offering the criticism. If you're the soul of reason, I'm more inclined to take suggestions. If I know you hate my guts, I have to think twice before I respond. Still, I'm a firm believer in agreeing to disagree. You can't get more civilized than that. Since I don't have any enemies on Blogit, I would be inclined to take criticism as being constuctive until things prove different.
posted by
word.smith
on August 10, 2005 at 4:04 PM
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QuirkyAlone
Ooh I must try harder ;-). I agree totally about sensibiities. What affects mine is when I see people assume that everyone who disagrees with something must be wracked with envy or must hate themselves to say such a thing. Why can't they accept that it's horses for courses? Why is a difference of opinion so inconceivable. Methinks that suggests a lack of confidence in one's own view that tries to diminish the opinion of others
posted by
Azur
on August 10, 2005 at 3:45 PM
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Interesting you should post this...I asked a blogger a question (in all
sincerity) and she called me a "fucking asshole"--among other things. Excuse me if I don't like my reading spoon-fed to me like a baby. I have questions, like any thinking, rational human being. Yet she took it as an attack and proceeded to berate me. People like that make me very wary of anything they might have to say from that point on... Good post.
posted by
Renigade
on August 10, 2005 at 3:37 PM
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MayB--
I think it's human nature to sort of personalize the statement being made, i.e., making that leap to the person instead of just the statement. Other times, what is said offends ones sensibilities, so it can be hard to separate the person from the statement. Nevertheless, I've disagreed with you DOZENS of times and I STILL don't hate you. lol.
posted by
Julia.
on August 10, 2005 at 3:32 PM
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eek ...your nor you're
posted by
Azur
on August 10, 2005 at 2:38 PM
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CunningLinguist, as ever you get to the point, you're own far off point, but the point nonetheless
posted by
Azur
on August 10, 2005 at 2:31 PM
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Ariala, yes indeedy we all have the right to speak. Sadly, however, it gets to the point where one becomes reluctant to try to discuss something because a contrary opinion is so often miscast as an attack.
posted by
Azur
on August 10, 2005 at 2:30 PM
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I Disagree With Myself Half the Time - No, two-thirds of the Time
I'm definitely guilty of click-tricks myself. I remember one time I used "Sex with Owls" as a title for a post, which was about something entirely different, but I was fully prepared to do it if necessary. My reputation is that important to me. 
posted by
CunningLinguist
on August 10, 2005 at 2:28 PM
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Ariel70, it is something we see more and more now given the fear over terrorism. I think that there is little hope of changing the view of those who demonize others
posted by
Azur
on August 10, 2005 at 2:25 PM
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I find it interesting that people want to attack those they disagree with,
but when those they disagree with make their statements in blogs, in whatever fashion they choose, they are seen as being hostile and defensive.
It's all silly, but we all have a right to our blog space and what we say.
posted by
Ariala
on August 10, 2005 at 2:20 PM
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mayB
How very right you are! It's sad, hateful and disgusting that rational discussion is no longer possible. And everything's so personal ; as you so rightly say, to hate someone's views if to hate them.
I've had a lot of comments like that over articles that I've had published here in Spain,and I often wonder -quite apart fromt he hate-element -- it if was my article or someone else's that they read. They've got their own cast iron agenda, and you must fitin with it, or be demonized.
There are enough enemies without ; why become enemies within?
posted by
ariel70
on August 10, 2005 at 2:16 PM
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