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gmabecky -- welcome to Blogit - stopped by your posting but forgot to pack
a lunch as it was a long one. Now in response to your comment: aside from a few residual prejudices I do not judge the entire Christian faith by the misdeeds of a few knuckleheads. It is only when behaviour is prevalent and widespread that we can begin to make cautious generalizations about any group. However the actions of these people are symptomatic of a prevailing mindset. They feel this is their country, it was built on Christian ideals, all people must conform to this faith, all non believers work for Satan and they must do everything in their power to insure that their most righteous faith prevails over all others. It is the mentality, the sense of entitlement drawn from self righteousness that is ultimately my beef with Christianity. .....You also make references to God and suggest that I establish a relationship with him.....sorry but I prefer my friends and aquaintances not to be invisible.
posted by
gomedome
on August 4, 2005 at 7:55 PM
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can you forgive us all?
I am so sad that christians have behaved so badly. I have been guilty myself. But, I would beg all of you to judge God by HIMSELF and give up looking at men and women to find Him. We SHOULD be living our lives in ways that He can use but most of us are not. We have all missed the point. God isn't about going to church, learning certain dogmas, following creeds, reading the right books, etc.etc. He is simply about loving you.
You know, you have said a lot of profound things and many boil down to one theme. God would not expect you to live a life of musts, shoulds, do nots. You are right. God simply wants to give you life. You don't need churches or "christians" to make that happen. All you need is God. Ask Him and He will give you the answers you and your children need to live the best life for you.
Religions are made by man, for man. We try to shape God and make him fit our understanding. We need rules and structure, form and traditions, to reassure us that we are "good" little people. It doesn't work.
Just bypass all us unsaintly "saints" and go talk to God, himself.
Luv Ya All - I'm just a feisty old gramma
posted by
gmabecky
on August 4, 2005 at 6:51 PM
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sannhet -- initially I had to be careful and really examine my motives
You may be aware that my indoctrination into religion was via an insane asylum/prison referred to as the residential school system. At the outset I was adamant that my children were not going to be exposed to any form of religious insanity such as this. In time a balance was reached, my outright hatred was tempered to a manageable prejudice. The unfortunate part of all of this is that some of our immediate family did not have the substance of character to see past their own prejudices and brainwashing.
posted by
gomedome
on August 4, 2005 at 7:59 AM
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ZenLady05 -- on their bathroom wall? --- okay that's a new one on me
The only thought that comes to mind is: how do you as the parent become pro-active in this learning process?
posted by
gomedome
on August 4, 2005 at 7:52 AM
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jesse_jean -- the first line of your comment says it all.
"The way one believes should be that persons business only." This mindset is a must in a society such as the one I live in. We've had massive immigration from the far reaches of the globe bringing to our country just about every denomination that exists. It is a must that people begin to realize that beliefs are a private matter and societal influences such as pressure to conform and ostracism if one does not, are outdated mindsets that are holding us back.
posted by
gomedome
on August 4, 2005 at 7:50 AM
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J.King -- you've hit on my underlying theme in all of this
"Walking the walk" is not easy, the entire challenge of anyone striving for enlightenment is to implement the ideals they claim to believe in practically. For me, it was not confusing traditions and manufactured methods of worship with that ongoing effort.
posted by
gomedome
on August 4, 2005 at 7:45 AM
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WhiteJedi -- you've hit on some very important points
The social network aspect was something that I could not offer my children in this attempt at quasi- home schooling so in later years I relented and let them attend a Sunday School that not so coincedently was taught by my wife. I know what you mean by what others think about non-believers. If you can appreciate, I've endured some fairly obtuse criticism from the brainwashed over the years. It is only in recent years that I have become more adept at handling it and putting them in their place.
posted by
gomedome
on August 4, 2005 at 7:40 AM
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You're question is a good one. It's the same one my dad asked when the family left the Mormon church. I still have a brother who is five. How is he going to learn some of the valuable lessons the church offered? Kindness, consideration for others and self-confidence still need to be instilled. It's very hard to tell other people to mind their own business. Especially when they're brainwashed themselves. Another thing that is hard to replace is a social network. The area we live in is conservative. The homeskilling networks require belief in Jesus. Yeah, I know, descrimnatory as hell. And, while other parents will not say it, they distrust us because of our non-religious stance. I often get the feeling of not being good enough in their eyes.
posted by
WhiteJedi
on August 4, 2005 at 7:27 AM
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Hola,
It certainly sound like you have instilled some wonderful values and morals in your children. As I read some of your posts, I think about that word "Dogma" and how some of the christians that we see on TV and in our communities can make Christianity less than inviting. Faith is just that. Belief in what I cannot see. My faith is important to me, not in just a tool for learning, but it also means that I do my best to "walk the walk" too. I am a Christian. I can remember someone saying to me when I was in my 20's, "Are you saved?" I answered "yes, I am". They said back to me, "well, I know you think you are, but I am not so sure". This one conversation has stuck in my head for a long time. If anything, to me, this comment reminds me of how easy it is to effect others. This kind of stuff can make one person never want to be a "Christian". I am glad that I have the faith that I do, and that people cannot simply take that away because they are rude or judgemental. Unfortunately, rude and judgemental come in all faiths, shapes and sizes. But when we can learn from our mistakes, and get our butts in gear for change, then we can show folks the good stuff.
Sorry to ramble! I do like reading your posts!
Go Easy,
J. King
posted by
J.King
on August 4, 2005 at 12:35 AM
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Spirituality
The way one believes should be that persons business only. I waited until I thought my children were old enough to decide for themselves what they wanted to believe before I introduced "religion" to them. There were books, Bibles, and as much reading material available to them as I could come up with. If they asked to attend church with their friends, I did not refuse, I let them make their own choice. I am a firm believer that freedom of choice should be the number one priority. Just because one does not believe the way I believe, or does not attend a church, does not by any means make him better or worse than me. I still believe we are created equally, no matter what the rest of the world wants to prove. I remember sending you a comment once that I thought you were wrong in a particular instance. But, I was the one in the wrong. You had a right to handle that situation anyway you wanted to. Even tho I try not to be judgemental, I am always reminded that I am human also, and make mistakes. In fact, it is what I do best.
posted by
jesse_jean
on August 3, 2005 at 8:55 PM
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Gome
I have three children ages 20, 18, and 15. Maybe this is a bit much, but EVERYTHING I want them to know about spirituality can be found on their bathroom wall. We have labeled that bathroom "The Reading Room" (in fact, it says this on the wall........in RED letters). There are plaques hung on each wall of my favorite poems and inspirational messages. I know the kids have read them all, and memorized some of them. We have talked about them many times. And, my kids all know my philosophy "This is my religion. There are no elaborate temples or complicated philosophies. My heart and my head are my temple. My philosophy is kindness".
Zen
posted by
ZenLady05
on August 3, 2005 at 7:47 PM
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Gome -
I think it's great that you worked hard to raise your children to be rational, intelligent, thinking beings. What more could a parent ask for? Let them travel their path and whereever it leads, at least you'll be comfortable in knowing that they have the tools to make up their own minds.
Sometimes I wish that I hadn't been forced into church as a child. But I think too that because of being forced, I questioned everything - just to be a pain in the butt, but also because what I was being told in church was not what I was being told from within.
Congrats on getting your kids this far!
posted by
sannhet
on August 3, 2005 at 7:28 PM
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