Go to Earth Magic
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expectation
what we fear we create. if i meet you with the memory of being hurt, then i am defensive and will not see your purpose. i will have already made up my mind that you exist to hurt, and that i must defend. but, do i feel more safe by defending myself, or more vulnerable?
posted by
avant-garde
on August 3, 2005 at 1:00 PM
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Avant-
Ok, I understand all of that now, but isn't the best predictor for future behavior, past behavior? If we don't give due recognition to the way people have behaved in the past aren't we essentially "asking for it"?
posted by
UsualSuspect
on August 3, 2005 at 8:17 AM
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calebs
it takes humility to admit to things we are not proud of. i find myself having expectations of others, and somewhere underneath lies inferiority and broken dreams.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 3, 2005 at 3:39 AM
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Definitions of Love
I've heard other definitions of love that I like. One is "love is a decision" which is often used in the context of marriage - as in a decision to love the other person and commit to a life with them without turning back or changing your mind. Another favorite also around marriage; Love is not so much about finding the right person to marry as it is in deciding to be the right person for the other person. I must confess I have a hard time with the "be the right person" part. I selfishly want her to be right for me. (heavy sigh)
posted by
calebs_blogger
on August 2, 2005 at 8:04 PM
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i find myself doing it, too
and it always leaves me unhappy. that's a clue that i'm doing it, yet again.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 3:35 PM
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I think people try to hard to impose an image of themselves rather than letting their own light shine through. Heck, I know I do
posted by
Azur
on August 2, 2005 at 3:25 PM
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isa
taking some time to disconnect from the world is essential for maintaining sanity. whether it be a walk in the park, exercise, a nice relaxing bath. there are many ways to approach it.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 2:39 PM
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the trouble is...
i am unable to meditate...i used to do it years ago, but i have simply lost this...
posted by
Marshallengraved
on August 2, 2005 at 2:03 PM
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usual
i am alluding to the fact that we think we are a body, bound in time, and subject to the laws of the world. we believe in death, the ability to hurt and be hurt, the use of defenses to feel safe, and that fear is caused by things outside of us. none of this is true. we are eternal, One with God, created in love (which is our true nature), and we are fully capable of creating our own reality.
when we see someone with what they have said or done, we cannot see anything but the past in them. now is all there is, and exists outside of our memories of what was or what is desired.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 1:58 PM
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usual
of course. if i choose a 'special' person here, who gives me what i believe i don't have, then that person has the power and i am controlled by what they do or say. and, inevitably, they cannot always please me. what is more, the fear of loss will cause me to want more control of them, which is why i argue over the most inane things.
Love is not exclusive. we have built a whole mirage on what we like to think love is, but it is really an illusion that contains hatred. how easily this love turns vicious when it isn't requited!
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 1:54 PM
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Curious
*When it appears that we have found something here in the world that benefits us in some way, we have also chosen our nemesis: For there arises things that threaten it, and it must be closely guarded. This puts the mind in the position of paranoia and compulsion. It focuses on the world to have and to hold. It will choose to attack and label it as justified.*
I'm not sure I understand this paragraph...could you expound? Also, if a person is not the things they say and do then who are they?
posted by
UsualSuspect
on August 2, 2005 at 1:44 PM
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isa
i think meditation would help you tremendously. it takes the 'sting' out of being on edge, and waiting defensively for someone to cross the line. it helps the mind to relax and let go, and it actually enables it to see what it is doing when it does it.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 12:16 PM
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vane
yes, you have it. by no means is an error 'wrong' or 'bad'. we make those judgments, and they are quite obstructive to growth. an error simply means that what i'm experiencing is a result of the way i have chosen to look at it, and that i do have a choice to reevaluate it and be free of it. thanks for stopping by.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 12:14 PM
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thanks
i am conscious that overreacting messes my life...i have to change that...not only is it painful, but it spoils my life...so i gotta get rid of it!
posted by
Marshallengraved
on August 2, 2005 at 11:03 AM
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i agree with everythig you said, except the finding error in our selves. Nothing is wrong with any of us, there's no need to judge ourselves at any point. However, I get what your saying simply means that we need to realize that we have the choice to alter our perception of things.
posted by
Vanidad
on August 2, 2005 at 10:33 AM
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quirky
it is strange until you ponder it. when i see you, and meet you with what you do or say, i'm not really there in the moment. i don't see you; what i see is my memory of you. that is what i am meeting. i am interacting with my own mind, but thinking it is outside of me.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 10:20 AM
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isa
that's great. learning not to overreact is saying to yourself, 'i don't want to go down that road again. it's too painful.' you are in the right direction.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 10:19 AM
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sincerity anna
many choose meditation to get control of their thoughts. contemplation without resistance is passive, in that one merely watches without interference.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 10:18 AM
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sannhet
yes, for many it is almost insurmountable. but the seed of the idea, 'hey, maybe i have caused all of this' cracks open the seemingly impenetrable door of perception.
posted by
avant-garde
on August 2, 2005 at 10:17 AM
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I'm still thinking about this post, but there's one thing I'm wondering about. When you said, "What a person says or does is not who they are."--I would like to know then...if words and actions are not who someone is...then what is? What's your take on that??
posted by
Julia.
on August 2, 2005 at 9:42 AM
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Well written ane very helpful...
I had a problem today that really bothered me. I usually overreact when i feel bothered by something. I didn't feel allright, but i decided to react less and to act more. So i took my phone, trying to solve the problem the best i could. A solution is in the making for tomorrow...and i feel better...
Overreacting is one of my errors...i have analyzed it and i am on my way to improving it...
I haven't replied to your email yet...i will do it asap...
Thanks for each of your precious articles:)
posted by
Marshallengraved
on August 2, 2005 at 8:12 AM
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Avant,
Great post...I just wish my mind had an on/off switch...
posted by
SincerityAnna
on August 2, 2005 at 8:04 AM
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Avant -
Whoo whee. Seeing error in ourselves. Boy, that's a tall order for many. It means overcoming Ego and seeing with the heart, not the head. Let's pray for strength for those willing to try.
posted by
sannhet
on August 2, 2005 at 7:37 AM
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