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Also homegirl
I assume far, far less than you do, so I am puzzled as to what your point is there. Of course I also detect a rather childish insult there, but can ignore it.
posted by
kooka_lives
on August 14, 2005 at 7:22 PM
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homegirl
It seems to me you have said that same thing before about us.
posted by
kooka_lives
on August 14, 2005 at 7:20 PM
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Military_Wife
Actually I think that is the general consensus here.
As long as it is consenting adults who do it, where is the problem?
I don't think it is the lifestyle for me (dealing with one wife can be stressful enough at times), but it might be for some.
It seems that it is only the religious thinkers who see a problem with it.
Of course they are normally the ones who try to force their views and morals on everyone else.
posted by
kooka_lives
on August 14, 2005 at 7:19 PM
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Guess I Am In The Minority Here
I really don't see anything wrong with it as long as it is between consenting adults.
The religious aspect...well, I don't follow organized religion any longer so it's a non issue for me. What I think should be outlawed is people trying to force their religious beliefs into everyone else's private life. I have to answer for myself at the end of this life...therefore it makes it nobody's business but mine.
Would I choose to live like this...no, I don't get along with other women as it is and as far as having more than one huband...do I not have enough headaches already????
posted by
Bel_
on August 14, 2005 at 6:09 PM
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I GIVE UP!
We will never see eye to eye... and you my dear ASS U me too much!
posted by
homegirl
on August 14, 2005 at 6:02 PM
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homegirl
I have seen first hand the ruin that can come from belief in God, so don't go there.
And boo who, you've had hardships in life. Sorry, but I've known people who had died as well.
You have gone and very much sheltered yourself in your present life. That is obvious. And you have no desire to look at the real world.
Obviously from your little outburst, you already know that and are very much in denial over it. But that is your life, not mine. You need to stop judging people until you get out form your settled existence and start really getting to know people who might not share the same views as you do.
posted by
kooka_lives
on August 13, 2005 at 7:00 PM
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WHATEVER!
You know nothing about me...
I grew up in Yonkers NY... the Bronx's toiltet!
I went to college in Albany NY and experienced many things I would not like to repeat.
I got married and lived in Rochester NY for 8 years .. my last house there was in the middle of a Hassidic (Sp?)jewish neighorhood.
Then I lived in New Orleans, in the warehouse district for over three years.
On top of that I have watched my mother and three sisters die of Cancer and another brother I have been watching die slowly my entire life.
I know how to live and I know how to die. I've tasted many extremes.... And in the end... I settled on Christianity. Yes I was raised in it, but as an adult, I did not walk into it blindly.
You on the other hand, Perhaps you should experience some time on the other side of the fence??? NO?
posted by
homegirl
on August 13, 2005 at 6:13 PM
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homegirl
Get up and go out into the world, the real world not the fantasy world you keep yourself in and look for them. Instead of just sitting there and saying they can't be out there because you do not agree with their lifestyle. It is just like the very ignorant comments mightyholywarrior made about all homosexuals hating themselves, which was clearly something he invented in his own mind without actually knowing homosexuals at all.
I remember a few years ago a guy in Utah (No surprise there ) came out and tried to get people to accept his lifestyle of polygamy. he ahd I think it was eight wives. I remember seeing many pictures of him and his wives and all looked good. They all had what looked to be real smiles. Although this was a religious based polygamy, they had not been forced into it and were dressed in average clothes of T-shirts and jeans. It really looked like a normal, happy group of people.
There are people who can live that lifestyle with no problems at all. You need to go beyond your personal perceptions and be willing to accept that people are different and can live fine in ways you could not.
posted by
kooka_lives
on August 12, 2005 at 9:25 AM
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and so those awsome, healthy poligamous people are???....
ooohhhh.
posted by
homegirl
on August 11, 2005 at 10:50 PM
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Homegirl
One interesting point that comes out mind reading your comment is that if we got to a good level of population, then would it not make sense to promote birth control and watch our rate of reproduction? Of course that becomes a post in itself. Still, the idea of having lots of children goes against the presented idea there. Also, that idea alone does not present any logical reason as to why polygamy should not be allowed. Having multiple wives does not mean that the population is going to grow any. It just means that the man will be mere likely to have offspring and a greater number of them. But that does not mean there will be any more kids than there would have been otherwise, since the women would have most likely just found other husbands.
No I did very much say that forced polygamy, which is what you are talking about, is wrong. You are going to get problems when you create such a situation. I would never say otherwise. The idea of polygamy I was referring to is when all those involved are accepting of the situation. There are people out there who can very much live in such a manner.
I am not aware of any study that shows polygamy in a positive light. Part of that comes from the fact that right now in this country most of those who are involved in polygamy are doing it as a forced religious practiced and not as the consenting idea I have presented. Although there are documented polygamist situations where there are no problem and the wives are not forced to marry anyone, but instead choose to because of their beliefs. Although that itself is outside of the point. I am not looking a this with any religious aspects at all, so any polygamy in a religious context, which really is the main aspect that is active in the US right now, is not what I am talking about no matter if it works or not. Althoguh getting into that it becomes an issue of religious freedom and goes beyond what the government is suppose to be able to regulate. As long at it is not forced hate government should not be able to stop it, unless you are saying the government should be able to interfere with religion freedoms.
I am talking about people who are able to handle such a situation. There are people who ache open marriages and are able to function as couple that way, and would not have a problem with multiple husbands or wives involved in the grouping. There are people who have multiple partners who know of each other and even live together and are able to be perfectly happy and feel they have good relationships with one another. There are men who have kids with several different women, and the women know this and they do get along (Not always, but it does happen), as well as women who have kids with several different men who are active with each other in a family system. Basically polygamy is happening, it is just that they are not going and getting the marriage part of it. Really if you look at it if a person gets divorced and remarried that could be considered polygamy.
Until we accept polygamy and let people who wish to live such a lifestyle give it try we can not say if it works or not. Right now all the facts say that there are people out there who are going to be able to live just fine in such a situation. It is about allowing people to have lifestyle choices and letting them figure things out for themselves, instead of having moral ideas forced on them.
posted by
kooka_lives
on August 10, 2005 at 3:00 PM
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glad I found this post
I still stick to my original assertation that is is wrong... for religious reasons! Once the earth was sufficiently populated, multiple spouses and incest, was declared unacceptable.
But anyway... It is emotionally damaging for the women (unless of course 1 woman has multiple husbands and then it is damaging to the men) and holds them hostage in a situation that is less than ideal.
You challenge me to prove why it is wrong... how about you prove how it is right.
Show me a CASE STUDY where everyone has an equal position in the family and where it is 100%...no 75% healthy to everyone involed... husband, wives, children.
I doubt you can find one that I cannot poke holes in.
posted by
homegirl
on August 10, 2005 at 9:16 AM
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polygamy can be detrimental to individuals
in the History Channel's Magazine (you ought to find somewhere around your TV studio) is an article about one of the Mormon wives -- all the abuse she suffered in that polygamous relationship - and her testimony helpd to give support to Congress passing laws against such.
It's like many other relationships -- a loving one shouldn't be a problem -- but when abuse occurs (harems, whether Solomon and David's or any contemporary would have to contain abuse) then protections must be enacted.
some women probably think that multiple men would be a fantastic idea --
but there are more women than men -- so maybe it might be a good idea to have multiple wives so as not to leave any out.
posted by
Xeno-x
on July 28, 2005 at 6:09 AM
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Kooka,
The thing that really irritates me is that zero is not considered a socially acceptable number in this matter. I keep trying to get back to that, but the legal aspects of it are tremendous.
That's the trouble with the law. Legislators all have hundreds of tiny screws that have come loose and are scattered about in the lawn. 
JJ
posted by
Jack_Flash
on July 27, 2005 at 11:38 PM
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Interesting post...
You might be further interested in LadyZen05 or is it ZenLady05... (oops)
She and her husband raise six children between the two of them and have a polyamorous relationship.
I think that consenting adults should be able to choose what they want but I can't see them acquiring special legal rights as a minority group because it would be far too confusing, such as Ariala mentioned, as far as divying up property and child custody as well.
posted by
phonetic_semen
on July 27, 2005 at 11:19 PM
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Ariala
Well sis, I can not really argue with that. To some degree that is how I see things myself. That is the way more people need to answer such questions here on Blogit. Be straight to the point and say 'This is my views based on how I see the world.'
The thing is there are people who can handle it. Should those people be told that they do not have the right to go out and live such a life style? Outside of where we are personally, is there really anything wrong with people who can handle such a situation living that way?
You have to remember I am big on the idea that it does not matter if it is something I agree with, I am against laws that force moral values on others when it really is just a question of preferred lifestyle. Just because I disagree with it does not make it wrong for some people as long as it does not cause harm. Remember I am for legalizing prostitution and pot and I have no desire to get involved with either of them.
posted by
kooka_lives
on July 27, 2005 at 3:57 PM
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I will mention the Bible, but not to support an argument against it, but
rather FOR it...look at all the Old Testament patriarchs that had numerous wives and concubines! Having said that, I don't believe it was God's will...anyway, now...let's take religion out of it.
Emotionally - Most people cannot handle the thought of the one they love sleeping or loving another man or woman. There's the problem with jealousy, possessiveness, envy and all those green emotions. People aren't secure enough in themselves to share. It also might confuse chidlren and cause a dichotomy of interest and lack of support at times. If you have numerous kids and spouses, you can't spend as much time as one couple can with their kids.
Physically - Again, sex comes into it, sleeping and living arrangements, financial dealings and etc. There are a lot of ramifications to consider. Who gets your assets when you die? Can it truly be divided evenly or do you love one spouse more than an other?
Spiritually - Not talking God or religion here, but when you make love to another person you are spiritually connected to them in a very intense and dynamic way. It compromises the spiritual experience to have that experience with multiple partners. It compromises yourself as well because you are constantly divided between two or more people. Shallowness breeds, rather than depth and spiritual awareness.
All this is based purely on experience, I mean opinion. 
posted by
Ariala
on July 27, 2005 at 3:37 PM
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polygamy
Er ... I'm not sure. I'll have to ask my eight wives : if I can get them to stop talking for a minute
posted by
ariel70
on July 27, 2005 at 3:32 PM
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