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Mystic
I live to amuse you. (What you said---trust me, I've been saying that to myself. I say it about other people, and I'm smacking myself now. I'm double jointed, but not good enough to get my foot around to kick myself. I would if I could.)
Seriously, he is, as someone else here said, histrionic and a serious drama queen, so the ranting and crazy banter came with the territory over time. It was directed at other people before so, yes, I bought it as it always blew over. I found out along the way, all these friends who are helping him move yet again, have also been the target of ranting/not speaking to you ever again for a decade at a time. He just started talking to one of them a few months ago...decades-long friends who live withing about 5 blocks.
As far as with me, the first year, he packed up a bag pretty much once a week like a little kid and thumped around, carrying on. When someone is that dramatic, it gets tough to take them seriously. My gut has been telling me that when/if he got the job he wanted, he was going to have them transfer him out of town, then say...had to do it...sorry you have Ryan (son)....hmm, well, then maybe we should part ways. He doesn't like to look bad. So that he took off before he got the job, a fairly high-level security job, is bizarre. He's spent 8 months jumping through hoops to get this, and he just passed the last major hurdle. All that is left is for them to make a decision. If he waited this long, it seems silly to give up the Ozzie and Harriet image in the public for a few week jump on being a bachelor. I'm just going from a logic standpoint.
And yet, I know, I know...what the heck about this has sounded logical so far. Well, when the book comes out, and it will, I'll let you know. :)
My son has one more year of school, and short of someone choking me, I'll deal with whatever I have to in order for him to have the stability. Since this job was the equivalent of that kind of importance for this guy, I don't understand that he'd take that risk. I wouldn't take that risk with something so important to get a week or month. He's been out 4 out of 7 nights a week for I don't know how long. I would have waiting and made it secure.
I have a better post off of this subject. I need a break from it all.
posted by
terpgirl30
on July 28, 2005 at 4:24 PM
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LOL! - Sorry, but it really amuses me when someone packs
their shit up and all their friends help them move and the other party scratches their head and says they didn't see it coming. At least he broke away clean. There's no easy way to end a relationship.
I would have PAID to have several relationships end this way instead of the long-drawn out drama that normally ensues.
posted by
fwmystic
on July 28, 2005 at 2:52 PM
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Maj
I saw the lawyer Saturday. Most of my main living areas are completely devoid of his stuff now. It's piled in one place, and I'm moving it to the garage. bit by bit. The color is white as he couldn't really settle on anything. The few things I painted, he whined about, then loved later. I was just going to paint in here (a color for me). Since I'm not staying here long, I need to spend the energy elsewhere.
posted by
terpgirl30
on July 27, 2005 at 4:30 AM
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How can you expect people not to advise you?
1. Lawyer.
2. Investment counselor (recommended by lawyer, or maybe free from your bank?).
It will be their job to help protect you. It won't be cheap but neither will being cleaned out.
I'd say "Be concerned but don't worry", except that the last two words are the least effective command in the English Language.(See my curmudgeonly back pages somewhere for my entire catalogue).
3. Pick a new color for the bedroom?
posted by
majroj
on July 26, 2005 at 7:21 PM
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Thanks all
It was just an insane rant because it's pretty much the one thing I could do at the time.
posted by
terpgirl30
on July 24, 2005 at 5:10 PM
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Terp
very sorry to hear what went on. You obviously deserve better (probably doesn't help right now, but it should be said), and I hope better comes soon.
-smartdog
posted by
smartdog_670
on July 24, 2005 at 3:19 PM
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Terpgirl30, you did the best you could but sometimes things have nothing to do with that and this is one of those times. Once you are clear of him in your head and heart things will be even better. Now you must take a step at a time moving on --don't look back. I am confident you will do the best you can for your son.
posted by
Azur
on July 24, 2005 at 1:59 PM
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Justso
I can't imagine thinking about meeting anyone else. It's not a hung up on him thing so much as a trust thing. I could be a lot happier if I didn't have massive debt hanging over my head...much of which is also hidden and I'm just now uncovering. When I met him I owned a really nice house, cars, etc outright, and had a huge stock portfolio. Not now. I don't know how to juggle it all while going through the actual emotional roller coaster I know he'll start when a lawyer gets involved.
posted by
terpgirl30
on July 23, 2005 at 5:33 AM
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I am truly sorry you are hurting or appear to be. Actually I would seem
he has done you and your son a favor. He certainly was no good influence on the boy. Not honest with you about anything, so why would you expect him to do something honest at such a late hour? I am sorry you will get over him. Rearrange what is left and enjoy your life until you meet someone who deserves you.
posted by
Justi
on July 23, 2005 at 12:37 AM
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I am so sorry to hear about all of this. It is true, the things we worry about usually never happen, it is the things that completely come out of nowhere that are the hardest to deal with.
Philly
posted by
PhillysTales
on July 22, 2005 at 10:55 AM
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Terpgirl
This will still be the best year for your son. A lot of that will do with you, how you act and such.
I had to learn the hard way too that commitment only works with two. One cannot do it alone.
All will be well..................and as far as being a looker..........take it from a red blooded one hundred percent male....(kinda cute too).........if that is your picture, then you are gorgeous!!
Your son is right Kim..........go to sleep.
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on July 21, 2005 at 10:45 PM
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Usual
Yeah, I've been thinking of it as a midlifer thing. When do I get one? Or is that the hot flashes part? That doesn't seem nearly as inviting. Can I just skip over all that? :)
posted by
terpgirl30
on July 21, 2005 at 10:35 PM
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Timmy
It's Kim. I won't go with the looker part, but I've known the other part for a long time. I just have a thing about keeping commitments. I just wanted to make sure I could say I did all I could do. Yeah, I'm a sap. His mom left his dad, and they moved in with the grandparents. He ended up with stepfathers following that, changing his name to his mom's last name at around age 20. He's lived in too many states to count, so the only way I could have known the extent of the carnage he's caused is if I had done a criminal check. And honestly, given the federal government doesn't seem to be able to dig up the stuff I know off the top of my head, I doubt I would have found anything.
It isn't the whether or not I'm better off without him...It's not the him I'm upset about. It's my son. This should be his best year in school. He's exactly like me, very protective, so he's already been in with me a half dozen times to make sure I'm good. It's about 1:30am, and he popped in to yell at me to go to sleep. He's going to want to make things better and, of course, he can't.
Oddly, I was in this same place growing up, and I never felt like I missed anything, so mentally I know he'll be fine. Still, I hate the thought of him feeling like he has to watch for me.
Thanks, Timmy
posted by
terpgirl30
on July 21, 2005 at 10:34 PM
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TERPGIRL
I really don't know you or him, and you don't know me. Good, now that that has been established, please allow me to say something as an outsider looking in.
Good!!! The guy is obviously a jerk that has to blame you for all of his shortcomings. Geeeezzz woman! (I use that because I do not know your name, nothing derogatory meant) You are a very bright lady.......you certainly are a "looker" too.......a combination that will allow you to have almost any man that you desire.
Stop wasting your time with this butt-head. He does not deserve you!
Okay, I'm done.
posted by
TIMMYTALES
on July 21, 2005 at 10:00 PM
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Uh...I'm probably not alone here when I say
WTF? My newly ex-husband just went through the same government agency procedures. He turned the job down seeing as how it would require him to disappear, change his name and have no further contact with his family. Seems reasonable. I'm really sorry to hear what an ass yours is being, though. Perhaps it's for the best? Who wants to be with someone who can't get past their "glory days" in high school anyway? Hope things look up for you soon.
posted by
UsualSuspect
on July 21, 2005 at 9:39 PM
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Thank you MMM
I think I'm really in shock. I'm getting the advice from all sides. It's easy for people to tell you what to do. Until you've had someone a head taller than you back you into a corner with that authoritative voice screaming that you realize you're not dealing with the typical case. I'm over 5'9", so I'm not little by any means. I've written for cops for years, so I don't think I'm easily intimidated. This is up close and personal, however. And again, I have to worry about more than myself.
posted by
terpgirl30
on July 21, 2005 at 7:11 PM
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That's totally nuts.
I'm really sorry - but I hope you life only gets better from this point on!
posted by
allicat275
on July 21, 2005 at 7:09 PM
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wow.... thats crazy..... why couldn't he just be upfront with you? i deal with a husband who hates me a fraction of the time and i don't get it.... i imagine you aren't looking for sympathy but i am sorry you have to go through this.... for you and your son.
posted by
mmm-w
on July 21, 2005 at 7:05 PM
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