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thanks for the comments factorfiction and lovelyladymonk
thanks for taking the time to read what i wrote, it means a lot to me.
posted by
robdon67
on July 7, 2005 at 12:38 AM
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Kristles
First of all I hope you had a full and restful sleep and woke up refreshed and happy. Thanks for sitting in the car with me as you read and for sharing the events that you went through too. It takes a lot to look at memories but to me, when I look back, I'm better able to understand the fault lines that are underneath my feet and influencing me in the present moment. I'm glad you made choices towards a happier life. xx
posted by
robdon67
on July 7, 2005 at 12:37 AM
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robdon67
Well, I left you a comment early this morning in response to your comment about Van Morrison music...told you that I read the first page in this blog and how much I loved your writing...I do...and that I would come back after I had gotten some sleep and leave some comments....still haven't slept. I had just written a very painful post when I read this one of yours this morning...it was about the love of my life who killed himself at about the age you are now. I did a little of what you are questioning doing in this post....looking at some really old pain...I am retired now and he has been dead many years. And then, let me tell you this....you had all this happen as a monk....I read it and it sounded so very much like what I endured as a female manager in a large corporation over the course of a long career...one I finally left at lunch one day and never returned to...ending up sitting in the parking lot of the very Barnes and Noble I was dancing in yesterday...crying in my car. It was raining and I couldn't stop crying...I had a breakdown and was on disability for two years and then retired. I was really a broken person...it took a lot for me to finally break down...many years of things like you talk about in your post, people and poison like you talk about....my religion was my belief that if I worked really hard and did the right thing, etc.....my "god" was "them" - not the same thing, but in a way I made it that because I was in a very unhappy marriage and I made my career my refuge from any other kind of life. I hid there through a heart attack, near death, bypass surgery, going from being on the top of the ladder to sliding down it, a golden girl to barely holding on with my bare knuckles...well, I could go on....let's just say that as I read this post, I wanted to tell you that I felt like I was sitting in the car with you. I'm glad you got out. I'm glad I got out. I just started writing about two months ago and now I can't stop. That's all I have the energy to say right now. Can't remember what all I said to you in my comments this morning...I really have got to get some sleep!
posted by
Krisles
on July 6, 2005 at 9:17 PM
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Wow, talk about a trial of faith. How difficult life can become. I am glad you are moving forward.
posted by
FactorFiction
on July 6, 2005 at 9:07 AM
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RobDon,
I have no words for you. That must have been a truly painful time in your life...
Try to make peace with your past. It's really the only way you'll be able to heal and move on with your lifte. I hope you're well and happy today.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on July 6, 2005 at 8:56 AM
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