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donaldoji
our thoughts that continue to feed anger are the problem. anger itself is perfectly normal.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 25, 2005 at 2:11 AM
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sannhet
that is very true. it is hard to see the connection, but when it is made, the world becomes a very different place. we can walk through it with invulnerability.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 25, 2005 at 2:10 AM
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taps
i know this one well because it is a recurrent theme in my life. just over the past year or so, i have begun to see this truth in myself. when i get irritated, i try not to lay blame and say to myself, 'i am shown my anger'. it might be very subtle, but it is always a result of my own self-image and the way i am trying to escape judgment of myself.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 25, 2005 at 2:09 AM
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maryx
i mean true cause by taking ownership of the anger. saying to myself that 'i am angry', instead of 'so and so made me angry'. when we put responsibility onto another, we are avoiding the issues within us that make us feel the need to constantly protect ourselves.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 25, 2005 at 2:07 AM
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I think also that "instant anger" is not necessarily a problem.
It's simply a reaction. It arrives and passes through in a flash. But when anger is "taken delivery of" and is carried forward "horizontally" in time by thought, it becomes a problem and a burden.
posted by
donaldoji
on April 24, 2005 at 10:38 PM
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Avant -
Excellent post. Anger is the absence of love, so if we love ourselves unconditionally, then there will be no need for anger.
posted by
sannhet
on April 24, 2005 at 7:58 PM
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Good post, avant-garde. If a person can master the art you speak of, they probably will live longer too.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 24, 2005 at 6:24 PM
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Avant Garde,
yes, I'm embarrased to say that I'm quick to take offense at these everyday slights. What do you mean by true cause?
posted by
Blanche.
on April 24, 2005 at 5:55 PM
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mary x
does it offend you? if you are left thinking only of that person and what a jerk they were for doing that to you, then denial of the true cause is still in place.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 24, 2005 at 5:50 PM
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Avant-garde,
Say, for example, you are waiting in line at a store and someone cuts in front of you. Is it better to say nothing or to tell them they are "out of line"? Is that too petty?
posted by
Blanche.
on April 24, 2005 at 4:35 PM
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mary x
that's precisely my point. if we love and accept ourselves, and our statements are 'i am valuable', then anger is merely saying, no thank you. another is not held responsible because his words and actions do not make me feel accepted or rejected. when we look for acceptance, and allow boundaries to be crossed, then we repress anger and it boils over. saying no is a very healthy form of anger. not being able to say no is not.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 24, 2005 at 4:32 PM
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avant-garde,
Anger does have a message, and it's one I struggle with: when is it right to speak up and defend myself against crossed boundaries and when do I need to examine myself and let it go. Or if possible, let the person know they've transgressed my boundaries without anger.
posted by
Blanche.
on April 24, 2005 at 4:20 PM
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RAME
thank you. have a great evening.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 24, 2005 at 2:39 PM
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Great blog!
I enjoyed reading it and I got something out of it, too.
posted by
RAME
on April 24, 2005 at 2:25 PM
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metta
thank you. i felt the need to write it.
posted by
avant-garde
on April 24, 2005 at 12:51 PM
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what a timely message... I needed that reminder.
posted by
Metta
on April 24, 2005 at 12:29 PM
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