Go to Spitfire- The Aries Poster Child
- Add a comment
- Go to Holy Crap! My Vagina is Broken! And On My Birthday, No Less! OMFG!!
No sex on April Fool's day-abstinence
posted by
adventurer02
on October 10, 2015 at 4:43 AM
| link to this | reply
saul,
so, I'm
not special for being born on April Fool's Day?
Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 3, 2005 at 2:51 PM
| link to this | reply
Hey, girl, I was supposed to have born on The Fool's Day,
but the joke was on Mom. I waited a couple more days, being prescient enough to know to stay the hell away from that day and, hell, her vagina was closed anyway (sorry, Mom, couldn't resist). That's right, today is my birfday.
Oh, and my grandmother was 21 when she passed away. Born on February 29th, she truly celebrated only every four years (but celebrated the three odd years with three of her children, all born on the 28th, her oldest and youngest -- a set of twins). She was 86 in human years.
But back to your original point. I have a stepson who was born on December 25, a Christmas baby. I have heard that same crap about "you're the only person I know". In fact, I think he was getting a Christ complex, telling everybody that he was "special" and that only he and Jesus were born on Christmas Day. So, being the kind, gentle, caring parent that I am, I -- in no uncertain terms -- broke it down for him that he wasn't "special", that millions upon millions of people throughout history have been and are born on that same day, that his mother wasn't a virgin before his birth (several interrupted pregnancies before his appearance urged her to call him her "miracle" baby, another building block in his complex), and he needed to get over himself.
To prove me wrong, the little bastard turned the the bottled water into wine coolers and, well, let's just say, I don't have to wear glasses anymore.
So I sent him to his room for arguing with me. Kids today!!
posted by
saul_relative
on April 3, 2005 at 6:35 AM
| link to this | reply
Frankenkitty, K, so I'll admit, my b-day really is April Fool's Day.
Ironic? Maybe, but still,
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 3, 2005 at 1:13 AM
| link to this | reply
koriani,
God was playing a joke on my parents, too, I'm SURE!
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 3, 2005 at 1:10 AM
| link to this | reply
Thanks, OBP!
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 3, 2005 at 1:09 AM
| link to this | reply
JJ, I won't tell anyone you asked, but,
what the hell is a vadgitarian??
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 3, 2005 at 1:08 AM
| link to this | reply
Temple, sorry to make ya pass out.
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 3, 2005 at 1:07 AM
| link to this | reply
If it is your birthday, happy birthday.
If not, happy birthday when it is your birthday. A broken vagina sounds unpleasant. My mom's friend got vaginal cancer this year, and she's not in working order. It was awful. I wish there was a less invasive cure for cancer. Take care :)
posted by
Flumpystalls3000
on April 2, 2005 at 7:33 PM
| link to this | reply
We had a friend over last night whose birthday was yesterday also
I went to school with him and everyone liked to say God was playing a joke on his parents...
Hope you had a great birthday! 
posted by
koriani
on April 2, 2005 at 12:50 PM
| link to this | reply
Spit
I'am glad they closed the womb for leap year. Wish you had told me this yesterday, I would have kept my legs closed last night. No worry, no little April fool's popping out of this. Shows it's still funtional, just not productive.. like I've always said, your wise beyond your years.. and now I know why~~Happy Birthday to the Fire~~ 
posted by
Offy
on April 2, 2005 at 6:18 AM
| link to this | reply
P.S. Spitsy,
Don't tell anyone I asked you this, but is there a relationship between a vagina and a vadgitarian?
posted by
Jack_Flash
on April 2, 2005 at 3:44 AM
| link to this | reply
Well, Spit4,
I don't have any problem believing anything you say. Why not? We all have to believe in something, and I just (cannot (not (not (disbelieve)))) in you. I am, of course, remembering that it is no longer April's Foolishness Day, but I forgot about it earlier, so I get a one day grace period. I don't know when I'll use it, so just watch out.
What I find trouble with is that I-R-W has the same birthday that I do. That comes up to a total of three people on planet earth that were born two days after Christmas.
No, you don't double up on prizes for Christmas/birthday. They play a coin for what to give you a gift for. It's called heads or tails. Heads you don't win, tails you lose.
Poor us...... 
JJ 
posted by
Jack_Flash
on April 2, 2005 at 3:38 AM
| link to this | reply
marriage?
::: passes out :::
posted by
Temple
on April 2, 2005 at 1:22 AM
| link to this | reply
Ditto to YOU, DarrkeT!!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 1, 2005 at 10:32 PM
| link to this | reply
So, HolyG, what exactly are you implying here??
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 1, 2005 at 10:31 PM
| link to this | reply
Thanks, Ariala!!
Much love and light to you!
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 1, 2005 at 10:29 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh, Jimmy, THANK YOU so much for those beautiful flowers!!!
Real flowers, too!!
You and Temple totally rock. If you guys ever get married, I would LOVE to do your ceremony. That would be awesome! (No pressure, of course!)
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 1, 2005 at 10:28 PM
| link to this | reply
Dang, IRWilliams!! But don't ya get double presents for your
bday and Christmas? If not, you're gettin screwed over!! That would suck! Thanks for the happy wishes!
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 1, 2005 at 10:25 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh, my sweet Temple!! Thank you!!
Glad to be here. (I suppose!)
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 1, 2005 at 10:23 PM
| link to this | reply
Yep, Passion. It was ALL a joke! I wasn't really born on April Fool's Day!
posted by
SpitFire70
on April 1, 2005 at 10:22 PM
| link to this | reply
Happy birthday to you and your vagina. Silly goose!
posted by
Holy_Grail
on April 1, 2005 at 8:06 PM
| link to this | reply
posted by
DarrkeThoughts
on April 1, 2005 at 8:02 PM
| link to this | reply
Happy Birthday! Yay!
posted by
Ariala
on April 1, 2005 at 7:21 PM
| link to this | reply
Happy Birthday Spitfire....
and that would suck if the equiptment closed up on your Birthday, that would screw up the whole celebration...
posted by
jimmy68
on April 1, 2005 at 7:18 PM
| link to this | reply
Happy Birthday, Spitfire. Enjoy it.! It also used to be the first day of
year before they changed the calender. I was married on Independence day and divorced day before Thanksgiving. My birthday is only a couple of days after Christmas.so you know I don't get any damned presents . LOL. Anyway, Happy Birthday ! Here's a dozen roses for ya.
x12
posted by
I-R-William
on April 1, 2005 at 7:17 PM
| link to this | reply
You're not fooling me you big loon....
.....
Happy Birthday!! :) I'm grateful the universe brought you to us. You are special and I'm glad you are here.
posted by
Temple
on April 1, 2005 at 7:09 PM
| link to this | reply
You really WERE born on April Fools...
That was just another April Fools joke, right????
posted by
Passionflower
on April 1, 2005 at 6:40 PM
| link to this | reply