Comments on Pope John Paul II Dies, Remains on Mark2556 Final Farewell Tour ’05 ®.

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HUZZOY!
Time to wake up CommiePope2303....

posted by mark2556 on April 2, 2005 at 3:22 PM | link to this | reply

It has really happened! Long live the Pope!

We've settled the score of the clicks. Thanks so much for participating in riddles.

Ben.

posted by A-and-B on April 2, 2005 at 3:12 PM | link to this | reply

Could I have a rain check? Click # 2

 

posted by Justi on March 26, 2005 at 4:48 PM | link to this | reply

Paul is a family name for me ... let's go with that one.

posted by TARZANA on March 26, 2005 at 9:59 AM | link to this | reply

YLF ~ My family would scorn me if I didn't include a relative's name...
...better go with Mark Pauly I.  Or Mark Jimmy I.  Or Mark Louie I.  Or Mark Ralphie I.

posted by mark2556 on March 26, 2005 at 9:53 AM | link to this | reply

Of course, and I knew a Mark long before I met a John, and since my opinion is the only one that matters, and I married a Mark, then I get the final say, right?  How about ... Mark Paul I ...

posted by TARZANA on March 26, 2005 at 9:44 AM | link to this | reply

Perfect! I'll eliminate him immediately.
He's a pagan swine, anyway, and the nuns are paying waaaay too much attention to him.

posted by mark2556 on March 26, 2005 at 9:41 AM | link to this | reply

Perhaps the reason for that is that when yoos guys get together, you ummm ... begin playing war games together?

posted by TARZANA on March 26, 2005 at 9:41 AM | link to this | reply

But Mark, the entire virtuosity of the Pope depends upon there being no Vice-Pope.

posted by TARZANA on March 26, 2005 at 9:37 AM | link to this | reply

YLF ~ I gotta agree.

But I have no idea what to call my bare-chested Vice-Pope.

"Sticky" just doesn't seem pious enough.

posted by mark2556 on March 26, 2005 at 9:33 AM | link to this | reply

OK, but I do think Mark something would be a more fitting pope name ...

posted by TARZANA on March 26, 2005 at 9:26 AM | link to this | reply

YLF ~ Only if they're willing to relocate the Vatican to the Everglades ~

I don't know if we're ready for the influx of tourists or not...

posted by mark2556 on March 26, 2005 at 9:20 AM | link to this | reply

Are they going to name the next pope Mark something?

posted by TARZANA on March 26, 2005 at 8:46 AM | link to this | reply

Scriber ~ OK, but I'm gonna have to go in to find them ~

Fortunately, we're well equipped for this sort of thing here at the Center.

It's all about blending in with nature.

posted by mark2556 on March 21, 2005 at 4:51 PM | link to this | reply

Mark--I'm in the market for some pointy red shoes.

 

posted by scriber on March 21, 2005 at 1:49 PM | link to this | reply

This picture is so funny! Rears are not so scary as tusked anteriors.

Does he rise again on Easter Sunday? Maybe there would be an epiphany at your center.

Ben.

posted by A-and-B on March 21, 2005 at 5:52 AM | link to this | reply

Probably ~

But if you dig more than a foot and a half deep you hit water.  And at that depth the wild hogs will just rut him up, and we all know what a mess that would make.

posted by mark2556 on March 20, 2005 at 6:52 PM | link to this | reply

mark2556,
Are there crocs or acid in the septic tank? Wouldn't a burial fertilize the grounds more efficiently?

Ann

posted by A-and-B on March 20, 2005 at 5:52 PM | link to this | reply

Ben ~ No, we're gonna hold it here on the grounds...
...we don't have an official columbarium, but we do have an old septic tank and some cinderblocks that ought to get the job done.  I figure we'll toss the ashes and leftover tripe in this friday and wait three days...

posted by mark2556 on March 20, 2005 at 5:09 AM | link to this | reply

Is everything over yet? Since there are no organic remains, the eulogy maybe held at a virtual columbarium?

Ben.

posted by A-and-B on March 19, 2005 at 8:33 PM | link to this | reply

Man-Boy ~ We have cheek clefts left?
Well, something new to sell on eBay.  Sweet!

posted by mark2556 on March 19, 2005 at 7:20 PM | link to this | reply

Are those cheeks cleft for me?

Seriously nutty stuff!!! Reminds me of National Lampoonishness.

Manboy

posted by man-boy on March 19, 2005 at 7:02 PM | link to this | reply

The season is penitential service. No time for prolonged mourning.

Is it too soon for the Easter Bunny to distribute some choc eggs with surprises? The stores have already started their sales of eggs.

Ann.

posted by A-and-B on March 18, 2005 at 9:29 PM | link to this | reply

Mark--still good for a laugh...

posted by scriber on March 16, 2005 at 5:30 PM | link to this | reply

mark,
K, you know the routine. Drop a comment when your press is fresh.

Ben.

posted by A-and-B on March 16, 2005 at 3:03 PM | link to this | reply

empty handed painter ~ Robert Tilton's "God Speaks through my farts"...
...kinda does it for me.  I'm working on the divine farting thing, but so far it's pretty unsucsessful, other than John the Baptist channeling through a crap I took.

posted by mark2556 on March 16, 2005 at 3:02 PM | link to this | reply

fwmystic ~ No more soap on a rope...
...too many priests want to wear it in the showers, and we all know where THAT leads.

posted by mark2556 on March 16, 2005 at 2:57 PM | link to this | reply

Updating? Well, Pope2303 and I have been on sabatical.

And as soon as this nasty rash he gave me clears up, I'll get to work.

posted by mark2556 on March 16, 2005 at 2:56 PM | link to this | reply

Eagerly waiting for more pics! When do you plan on updating any of your blogs?

Ben.

posted by A-and-B on March 16, 2005 at 2:51 PM | link to this | reply

Ben ~ They used to be.
But with the whole involuntary muscle-relaxation thing at the time of death, they're somewhat...stained, and I don't mean that in the good way.

posted by mark2556 on March 16, 2005 at 2:34 PM | link to this | reply

you need something

that will inspire visions.

that's where all the hoopla is -- in  visions

and voices.

posted by Xeno-x on March 15, 2005 at 2:09 PM | link to this | reply

Anything that's left over can be made into soap ...
for Pope on a Rope gift bags.

Incredibly funny post, one of the best ever.

posted by fwmystic on March 15, 2005 at 8:01 AM | link to this | reply

I don't suppose you have any palm branches to spare? The palms in my area are already bare.

Ann

posted by A-and-B on March 14, 2005 at 5:06 AM | link to this | reply

mark, the undies are the centerpieces!!! I suppose they are white?.........
(Ben)

posted by A-and-B on March 11, 2005 at 4:33 PM | link to this | reply

Ben ~ Yes. Several hats, the funny red shoes...
....and a pinky that seems to have slipped past the sausage machine.

posted by mark2556 on March 11, 2005 at 4:28 PM | link to this | reply

Will there be any displays of his artifacts at the Center's museum? You could charge and collect loads on the tickets.

Ben.

posted by A-and-B on March 11, 2005 at 4:14 PM | link to this | reply

That's PAPAL!
And because you've called me 'Sicko' you're going to hell.  Sorry, I don't make the rules. 

posted by mark2556 on March 11, 2005 at 11:50 AM | link to this | reply

Shades of the Popal People Eater--or was that Purple? Too funny sicko.

posted by Hollee on March 11, 2005 at 11:42 AM | link to this | reply

Scriber ~ Me too.
This new one is a little too.....hairless. 

posted by mark2556 on March 11, 2005 at 10:15 AM | link to this | reply

D-T ~ Yes, I've thought about video...
...but I want Paris Hilton in the lead role, and frankly, she looks like crap on film.

posted by mark2556 on March 11, 2005 at 9:55 AM | link to this | reply

Mark--quite an efficient operation. But I liked the old Pope better.

posted by scriber on March 11, 2005 at 9:25 AM | link to this | reply

Sick...funny...but sick!  Have you ever thought of video?  I think the documentary has potential as one of those overnight bestsellers...

posted by DarrkeThoughts on March 11, 2005 at 9:23 AM | link to this | reply

Ms N ~ I'll talk to Pope2303 about absolution for you...
He may require you put a little time in as a nun.  Do you have black thightops and a sturdy ruler?  Are you allergic to latex?  Holy oils?

posted by mark2556 on March 11, 2005 at 6:16 AM | link to this | reply

Ann ~ Right now what we need is a miracle cure for diarrhea...
...as always, the Pope didn't sit well with everybody.

posted by mark2556 on March 11, 2005 at 5:50 AM | link to this | reply

Looks like you and I
will be gracing hell together... LOL! I love poking fun at the Pope. Of coures he can't feel anything as all the nerve endings in his body are dead.

posted by Transcendental_Child on March 10, 2005 at 7:50 PM | link to this | reply

There may be miraculous cures after the blessed consumption, even if only in the pictorial form. Maybe many doctors in S. Fl. would be bust for the month.

Ann

posted by A-and-B on March 10, 2005 at 7:49 PM | link to this | reply

Ann ~ Uh....well, seems the Pontiff was pretty popular...

...as a processed meat product.  Let's just say there were a lot of blessings at dinner around here tonight.

And our rendering plant was shut down by the Health Department, so....well, alligators need to eat too, you know.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 7:08 PM | link to this | reply

If there are insufficient carnivores participating, you could put the meat to other uses, as suggested.

Ann.

posted by A-and-B on March 10, 2005 at 7:04 PM | link to this | reply

Ann ~ Well, THAT would've been useful information...
....before we took His Holiness to the deli.  Now I gotta wear sausage links around my neck and put frozen meat patties in my pockets.  Swell.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 6:57 PM | link to this | reply

There was a story about relics being venerated. A pious body would remain fresh and require less preservation. Pieces can be enclosed in lockets to be worn to ward off ill luck.

Ann.

posted by A-and-B on March 10, 2005 at 6:53 PM | link to this | reply

EH-Painter ~ Like he already hasn't?
Maybe you should read my LUST blog.  I figure He still owes me for that Jewish woman.  It was...horrible.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 3:34 PM | link to this | reply

Hey, I'll handle chris..

posted by Kiddo75 on March 10, 2005 at 2:53 PM | link to this | reply

god'll get you fir this!

or Chris2303

now he'll have to live in celibacy

posted by Xeno-x on March 10, 2005 at 2:48 PM | link to this | reply

LoanLady ~ OK, I mixed up 3 gallons' worth.
It was a little tangy, so I sweetened it up witha few tabs of acid.  Smooth as Silly Putty now!

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 2:41 PM | link to this | reply

Ann ~ I have no idea.
Frankly, I'm amazed every time somebody lives through the aromatherapy, let alone the cryogenic lab.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 2:00 PM | link to this | reply

Three shots Ketel One, splash of lemonaide, sprig of fresh mint and a rasberry. Keep repeating until you are full of grace.

posted by the-loanlady on March 10, 2005 at 1:54 PM | link to this | reply

Very funny. The transplantation before and after looks the same. Would there be cloning too?

Ann.

posted by A-and-B on March 10, 2005 at 1:50 PM | link to this | reply

oh this will be one helluva drink!

posted by Tanoolicious on March 10, 2005 at 1:46 PM | link to this | reply

Toons ~ OK.
What's a Hail Mary?  If it's a drink, I'm on it like stink on a monkey.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 1:45 PM | link to this | reply

Devilinme~ No way, Boat-Girl.
Pope2303 has absolved me of every heinous sin I've ever committed or ever will commit.  And that's quite a list.  So, there you have it; a Free Pass to AbominationWorld.  Hoo!

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 1:44 PM | link to this | reply

I think you will need to recite 5208485083217932934875732198327843083210931241092109843142109142 hail Mary's for this one.. LOL

posted by Tanoolicious on March 10, 2005 at 1:43 PM | link to this | reply

YOU ARE SOO GOING TO HELL...lol..I think your fate was sealed
when that head was being put in the grinder..either that or when you warped him into satan himself....But hey, at least well all be together in hell..

posted by Kiddo75 on March 10, 2005 at 1:38 PM | link to this | reply

Well, NOW we're talkin'!

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 1:31 PM | link to this | reply

Marky Mark there's one off Puerto Rico too (a little island). Fond memories of sunning on the boat over, not necessarily with bathing suit.

posted by the-loanlady on March 10, 2005 at 1:22 PM | link to this | reply

Reni ~ It was only one date.
It only lasted six weeks, and the sex was meaningless.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 12:14 PM | link to this | reply

I'm lusting after her in my heart.
And in my pants.  Ooops....boy, THAT was fast.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 12:00 PM | link to this | reply

Well...OK...

but only for a limited time only, and no guarantees that they're virgins. 

Filthy sluts....filthy...save their souls, father.

posted by chris2303 on March 10, 2005 at 11:57 AM | link to this | reply

Pope 2303 ~

Howsabout lifting those restrictions on nuns and...well, a little bit of the hibbity-bibbity action?  Grwoar! Grwoar, yes?

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:52 AM | link to this | reply

Mark...
I try not to

posted by SincerityAnna on March 10, 2005 at 11:50 AM | link to this | reply

Mark

Thou is forgiven, son.  Thou is forgiven.

Now come here and suck mummy's pope stick....moohahah...oh christ...ook.

posted by chris2303 on March 10, 2005 at 11:49 AM | link to this | reply

S-Anna ~ Do I?
Well, someone hasn't been paying attention, now has she?

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:49 AM | link to this | reply

Mark...
Nope, he doesn't, not at all...do you??? Don't answer that, please...lol...

posted by SincerityAnna on March 10, 2005 at 11:46 AM | link to this | reply

Ariala ~ Good eye.
You'd better hope your boss doesn't see this.  He'll know you were screwing off at the Papal celebration instead of screwing off at work.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:46 AM | link to this | reply

Chris ~

You've gone and used the LOL word.  Now I hate you.  If you weren't the Pope I'd curse.  Please touch me with your Papal Pole.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:45 AM | link to this | reply

S-Anna ~ I don't know.

Does your husband use lard and lust after midgets, too?  The correct anser is "Yes".

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:43 AM | link to this | reply

the following did it for me hahahahahhaaha

posted by Ariala on March 10, 2005 at 11:43 AM | link to this | reply

Marky Poos:

What a stud that stipper was, too.  A right donger on it, in Christ...shit...

And even though it's a woman or queer's word, I LOLed a lot throughout this post.  And that's a rare thing to happen to a miserable cunt like me.  Very rare.  As rare as a pope in a secluded field somewhere...oh holy bugger...

posted by chris2303 on March 10, 2005 at 11:41 AM | link to this | reply

Mark...
OMG...you certainly are a "MARK"...I say this because my husbands name is Mark as well...as is my sons...lol...none of you are quite right, are you???

posted by SincerityAnna on March 10, 2005 at 11:41 AM | link to this | reply

L-Lady ~ Puerto Rico?

No, but that is me wearing the Islamorada shirt...it's one of the Florida Keys, about a 12-pack east of Key West.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:40 AM | link to this | reply

Mark.. I save that for the men I want to have heart attacks...
Not for the ones that are already dead.

posted by RedHeadedGypsy on March 10, 2005 at 11:40 AM | link to this | reply

That's just because you took him out... Not fair!

posted by Renigade on March 10, 2005 at 11:37 AM | link to this | reply

Gpysy ~ You're not gonna do that helicopter trick on it, are you?
That would be just wrong.

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:37 AM | link to this | reply

Reni ~ I've gotten absolution from Pope JP-2303.

He assures me I'm going to lust heaven.  He even let me kiss his ring on it.  Wow!

posted by mark2556 on March 10, 2005 at 11:36 AM | link to this | reply

Hail Mary you are so funny. Is the photo with the blue Puerto Rico t-shirt you? I wish I was as talented at cut and pasting or had a full library of meat packing plant photos to match.  

posted by the-loanlady on March 10, 2005 at 11:29 AM | link to this | reply

The papal stiffy had me in tears LOL

posted by RedHeadedGypsy on March 10, 2005 at 11:28 AM | link to this | reply

Hope you packed some ice for your trip to HELL! LOL

posted by Renigade on March 10, 2005 at 11:25 AM | link to this | reply