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Death, especially in one so young, is so damned hard to accept and come to any sort of terms with. It has been hard enough here, in my case. My mother and father died when I was fifteen months old in a car crash at 20 and 24. It's too young; that's no age to die.
I just wanted to say that on some level, I feel and share your sorrow. They say that it's always the good ones that die young. I get the impression that somehow, ironically somehow, they might just be right.
Sacred Raven.
posted by
SacredRaven
on March 5, 2005 at 7:38 PM
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MiaElla,
I am sorry I didn't begin reading your blog sooner. I read one post a few weeks ago but didn't really understand everything until tonight, when I went and read every post you've written since your brother's death. It is so terribly sad, and I add my sympathies to the many others people have extended. There is something especially cruel about a very young person being lost.
A guy I knew casually in college died in a freak accident shortly before he was due to graduate: to impress a tour group, he backflipped off a fence into the pond behind it, which was a shallow pond, so he broke his neck and died from the injuries. I didn't want to believe such a thing had happened. That was one of several student deaths in that year alone. Life is so fragile. I don't get it. So sorry for the loss, my belated condolences and prayers are with you. 
posted by
Dyl_Pickle
on March 3, 2005 at 7:27 PM
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miA
oK I'm totally convinced he was an angel. He did his job, an dleft. I know that may not be entirely comforting or soothing, but is has to be. It does seem he just new.
posted by
ladyofshalott
on March 3, 2005 at 3:46 PM
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posted by
lovelyladymonk
on March 3, 2005 at 12:20 PM
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Mia,
I'm crying for you.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on March 3, 2005 at 12:20 PM
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Rachel, I will probably live to be very old then, cause I fear dying, but
not the concept of death (if that makes sense.)
posted by
Ariala
on March 3, 2005 at 8:45 AM
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I'm somewhat obsessed with death, too...
I've always had this creepy feeling I wouldn't make it to 30, and now geez, it's only 5 years away. Scary.
I always tell my husband, "You need to pay attention because you need to know how to do this when I die." and I don't know where stuff like that comes from--it just sort of seeps out before I know it.
One good thing about being obsessed with death is that you aren't afraid of it...
And hey, at least you know now that no matter where you go, your brother will be there. When you have babies, he'll be there, looking over your shoulder.
posted by
RachelAnna
on March 3, 2005 at 8:43 AM
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MiaElla, I do think that sometimes we sense these things and sometimes
we set our intentions for them to happen. One can't explain it either way, but it's still very sad to live with...
posted by
Ariala
on March 3, 2005 at 8:26 AM
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Some people have a sense for things that we can't understand...
posted by
Renigade
on March 3, 2005 at 8:14 AM
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red,
well thankfully he didn't take his own life...
posted by
MiaElla
on March 3, 2005 at 8:11 AM
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gyp,
I think so. I think I knew it as well. About two years ago, I was telling my boyfriend at the time that my brother would be the first to go. And then, when my brother died, my ex byfriend freaked out. I had predicted it. I think we all knew all along, but nobody wanted to believe. Why would any of us want to?
posted by
MiaElla
on March 3, 2005 at 8:09 AM
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man-boy
My brother was a legend in these parts...one day I'll write his story and then the world will know him.
My brother too often wanted to die...I think until that last moment in which he was dying...and then he tried to fight.
posted by
MiaElla
on March 3, 2005 at 8:08 AM
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mia,
my heart goes out to you...it is difficult when one we love is preoccupied with death, even worse when they actually follow through with it. You are in my thoughts.
red
posted by
redlunar
on March 3, 2005 at 8:06 AM
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Mia...
Perhaps he just had a sixth sense of his own mortality. Some people do.
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on March 3, 2005 at 8:05 AM
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I would love to have known...
your brother MiaElla. I have thought a lot about Jimi, Jim, and Janice. Some of us leave a different legacy to the future of life on this Earth.
My kids.
Wakely.
I have should have died at least a dozen times at last reckoning.
Do I want to? Sadly... yes.
manboy
posted by
man-boy
on March 3, 2005 at 8:02 AM
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