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Experience
Nice to see a new face, thanks for reading and leaving a footprint. I agree, we shouldn't let things destroy our inner peace. I wish I could equate this to just worrying and will myself to stop, but it's a little bigger than me at the moment. I do what you do though, focus on the good. It gets me through, too. :)
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 9:27 PM
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littlems
yes, being the champion of the world is very cool, thank you! thanks for reading, too, and leaving a comment.... :)
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 9:25 PM
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Reni, yeah, I joke a lot about getting drunk, but I don't do it often.
Very rarely really. I'm still learning about PTSD and how it applies to me....I didn't realize how much it did until recently. My shrink is an expert and writes books on it, things like that, and is giving me quite the education. She's a trauma expert and thinks mine has been with me since a childhood incident. She says it reactivates when there is danger (not necessarily physical...any kind that feels essential to survival) + helplessness. So, I go through these periods of time really, with sort of little bursts in between. I'm still learning. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me, it helps me to know I'm not the only crazy one in the house. ;) Yes, if hot men brought it on...priests or otherwise...they'd just have to lock my ass up!
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 9:19 PM
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DarrkeThoughts
I've never had much luck at changing the outcome of my dreams, I'd love to do that. The thing with these dreams is that there is so much activity during them. The last couple of nights, as I finally respond to comments, I've had fewer dreams that were violent which is good. Nice to see a new face....thank you for reading and leaving a footprint. :)
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 9:11 PM
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Wildwoman, yes, the loop = stuck for sure.
Well, if you think I'm a tough cookie, I must be....because it takes one to know one. Let the force of the universe work....I need to remember this. Surrender to the power of the universe because it will look after me, it will. It always has when I stop mucking about. I'm glad I'm responding to your comment right now. Perfect timing. Thanks :)
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 8:56 PM
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HG, well, I'd like to think you are right...
...that I am a giving person...I know it is hard to accept help. I was in a position where I didn't have any options for so long, and the options I did have (family) made me pay emotionally so dearly for help that I just stopped asking. I wasn't good at it before that, so that made it worse. I would love it if Jimmy were here, and hopefully we can make that happen sooner than later. Then, you are going to come visit and bring Montana and he will cook for you! Because you deserve more vacations and you've been such a sweetheart. We both consider you a friend. :) Jimmy has certainly helped me be less stubborn in that department and open up. Thanks for the sweet words darling girl, and you take care of yourself and your fuzzikids too.
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 8:53 PM
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Justsouno, I left you a comment in your comments...
...but I still want to say thank you for reading and commenting and for the kind words. You said everything when you said not being afraid is the blessing. That's what I'm working on as I type this...today....yesterday. It's a tall order. How'd you do that? :)
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 8:44 PM
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Mimi
I think the PTSD is more common than I knew before. As I talk about it, people share their stories with me. I'm pretty scared driving sometimes, especially when it's raining. Jimmy's right, I guess, we are all mad here. ;)
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 8:37 PM
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Cass, I hope you are right about the universe taking care.
I believe that, but the fear can give that belief pretty fierce competition. It makes me feel good knowing that you care, even if you are far away. :)
posted by
Temple
on February 25, 2005 at 8:35 PM
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Been there done that
I been threw abusive situations that leave you with nightmares and always looking for something bad to happen. But then I go sick. So I decided living a life worring all the time about death is no good. You have no life if yolur always worring. So I just felt when my time comes it comes. Im not going to let the world destroy my inner peace. I'll just enjoy the better times and use the bad times for an experience.
posted by
Experience
on February 19, 2005 at 8:28 AM
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temple...
wow, there seems to be a lot going on in your head at the moment. i hope after that post you had a nice restful sleep. Take care... oh and congrats for being champion of the world! LOL
posted by
littlemspickles
on February 18, 2005 at 11:36 PM
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Temple--Getting drunk is sometimes a nice solution--although
not permanent. I've learned to spot the "attacks" when they come on. I suffered for years at the hands (mouth, really) of a VERY abusive father, so sometimes my hubby can send me into an episode with just a harsh word--anything that takes me back, really. TV shows sometimes do it--although I've learned which types of shows to avoid...It sucks, but through the years I gain more and more control. I think of it as an acne breakout...It comes, inflames, and then gradually dissipates...Good thing hot priests don't bring on the attacks, or otherwise church would be out!
posted by
Renigade
on February 18, 2005 at 11:42 AM
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I hear you. Sounds like a major case of what I was suffering last weekend about my car breaking down. That getting stuck, and not being able to figure out another way out of the situation. When a neighbor loaned me the car for the rest of the weeks it just dawns on me I probably could have rented a car too. (Might have used up all the cash I could get my hands on, but I probably had enough...just never occured to me.) Good luck with the kidnappers tonight. If you remember your dreaming, you can have some incredible powers to change the outcome. (I've been able to fly away, or transform the monsters into something nicer/tamer - the trick has always been to realize where I'm at and that I have the power to make anything I can think of happen.)
posted by
DarrkeThoughts
on February 18, 2005 at 10:12 AM
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Temple
ah, the loop. I can know what you mean. I don't have ptsd, I don't think, but I do have the night shift. It's hard for me to get beyond when I'm feeling a lack, and I get stuck and unproductive. Yikes. Scary things you've shared here. You're a tough cookie, Temple. Enjoy your weekend with Jimmy and let the force of the universe work for you. See ya next time!
posted by
Wildwoman_Laloba
on February 18, 2005 at 6:34 AM
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Temple
I hope the universe can work with you and Jimmy. I think it would be wonderful if you had him around full time so you coule lean on each other. And I'm glad you're willing to let yourself do that. You strike me as such a "giver" that it's tough for you to learn to accept things once in a while. But it seems as if Jimmy might have changed that a bit. And I agree that you certainly have no shortage of words when you write! Heck, I don't have PTSD as an excuse for my ongoing bonehead moments (like undersleeping Monday). I guess it's just advancing age and depletion of brain cells! Take care of yourself and your kitties.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on February 17, 2005 at 4:50 AM
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Temple I am sorry my comments page messes up and leaves one
the size of a bed sheet
posted by
Justi
on February 16, 2005 at 11:43 PM
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Temple
| I am sorry. You are a good writer. You certainly have your brain doing what you want when at the keyboard. You will come back totally. I got ill and had to close my business I had for 13 years because of being so tired. I understand the money thing but it has worked out it is getting better. I learned not to be afraid that was a blessing. May I pray for you? |
| |
posted by
Justi
on February 16, 2005 at 11:41 PM
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Temple,
I'll have to come back to read this in full. It's nighty-night time for me.
I also have PTSD, from a car accident a few years ago. Now I'm a drivaphobic. Small world, huh?
Sleep tight tonight, or at least try.
posted by
myrrhage_
on February 16, 2005 at 11:02 PM
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gotta love vivid dreams. my dreams verge on the really wierd (surprise
surprise) but the more vivid they are the more rested I feel when I awake. Don't worry about the credit card thing. I've used mine to pay taxi drivers.
posted by
FreeManWalking
on February 16, 2005 at 12:10 PM
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Temple you are the Champion of the World and the Champion of Words. I believe the Universe will look out for you. Anyway, I'm there for you - well as much as I can be long distance!
posted by
Ca88andra
on February 16, 2005 at 2:25 AM
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Reni, just having you tell me that makes me feel a little better...
...in some way. I usually manage okay, then...blam...I think the problem is we didn't know what was going on right away and so it took a while to really know it was PTSD that was causing certain things. Once I know what's what, I usually handle it better...get pissed off... don't like to be ruled by stuff like this. I get floored every now and then, like now. It takes time, like everything else. But, you know this, I'm sure. :) Thanks so much for reading and leaving a comment.
Sometimes I think I just need to get drunk and go to a strip club. With a hot priest. Your thoughts?
posted by
Temple
on February 16, 2005 at 12:09 AM
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Original
You are right about my sweet boy, and I am most definitely grateful for him. I only wish he lived here in San Diego, but we are talking about that and seeing if the universe might help us out there. I think having him here every day might make these things easier. I've never been one to let myself rely too much on a man, stubborn and independant that way, but there comes a time for everything...and Jimmy makes it easy to lean on him a little bit. All things are possible if we open ourselves up....you said it. (Except Petie won't win his belt back in the rematch later
.) Things are somewhat perfect in that they are how they are supposed to be, and I will be okay. Thank you for your sweet words. Stay tuned...
posted by
Temple
on February 16, 2005 at 12:00 AM
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Yeah, the stiff upper lip thing...that's me....
It's hard to show the soft spots when you are used to doing things on your own. You know what I mean all too well, though, don't ya? ;) xoxo
posted by
Temple
on February 15, 2005 at 11:51 PM
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Temple--I have PTSD, too. Long story, but I know all too well some of
what you are going through. It can be managed. You strike me as a very strong person.
posted by
Renigade
on February 15, 2005 at 9:53 PM
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Temple,
Even though things are not perfect for you....you have what most want...us women anyway, a sweet guy....revel in that dear....the rest will come to you because you are truly "the champion of the world"...You make me believe that all things are possible...as long as we open ourselves to the opportunity...peace
posted by
Original_Influence
on February 15, 2005 at 6:26 PM
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Okay...
I've gotten the formatting now. :)
posted by
Temple
on February 15, 2005 at 4:00 PM
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Nothing to be sorry for sweet Temple...
as always, you express yourself well. It is hard to imagine how frightening all of this must b for you, particularly as you continue with the stiff upper lip thing. I am learning, slowly, what it means. Little tiny bits are ok, do what you can, it will all work out as it is supposed to pretty girl. I'll see you Thursday night...take care
posted by
jimmy68
on February 15, 2005 at 10:50 AM
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sorry for the weird format...
I'm still not back in my word, and my computer is still not working properly....so the lines are all screwy....and things are sorty funky. :)
posted by
Temple
on February 15, 2005 at 5:15 AM
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