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man-boy
Your words bring me much comfort and peace.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 8, 2005 at 7:44 AM
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Your blessed memories of your brother...
remain vibrant. The rest of it, and all the stuff surrounding your mother's grief is where you are able to shine through from the darkness. You know your own inner light is inextinguishable as is your brother's light.
I don't pretend to make sense of death beyond the belief that it is a transition that we must approach with faith and hope.
posted by
man-boy
on February 8, 2005 at 7:40 AM
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Anthony1
He was younger than me...I'm 28, he was 24....another thing I feel guitly about...outliving my younger brother...maybe you're right, maybe his light will return in us.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:17 PM
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Original_Influence
I cling to the hope that my brother is in a better place and is no longer hurting...that's the only thing that gets me through the day. Thanks for stopping by sweetie...I've missed you...will have to go check out your post.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:15 PM
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Katray
Thank you so much.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:14 PM
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DEVILINME1
Being a father was the absolute best quality about my brother. Our dad was an alcoholic and left us when we were young...so my brother vowed to do things different....I'm so sad he never got the chance...and that his lil girl may never remember the love of her father, or how much he had to sacrifice for her.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:13 PM
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HolyGrail
I was very close to my brother. I really admired him.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:11 PM
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MiaElla
Bless you
Your brothers greatest light was the love he received from his little sister and will send back to you day by day in time luv
posted by
WileyJohn
on February 7, 2005 at 6:42 PM
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Mia,
you are very strong...my thoughts are with you...
posted by
Original_Influence
on February 7, 2005 at 6:24 PM
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Mia
Thoughts and prayers sent for you & family. Take care.
posted by
Katray2
on February 7, 2005 at 5:17 PM
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I just read these post..and first my heart goes out to you and your family.
But I have to say, I have tears coming down for that little girl. It is an outrage, here I am FIGHTING with that sorry sack of shit to just acknowledge one of his kids..and there is a daughter, at such an early impressionable age, waiting for her daddy who will never come home. It isn't fair, I'll say that for her. I'll say for you it wasn't the wrong child that died, it was just wrong. I know right now your emotions are fresh, and maybe you feel as if those words were true, but they aren't. I know your mother is beyond pain, but not to say anything negative about her, I don't think maybe she is thinking clear. All your children are the same, no more no less, no matter what. Please dont think you are any less deserving to live, or anymore deserving to die. What you are now, is a pivitol part that will play in little Wakley's life, cause she'll need more hugs and reassurance than ever. I can't express how hurt I am for that child, and how angry that once again a good dad goes punished. and a litttle child is once again taken from something wonderful. God bless.
posted by
Kiddo75
on February 7, 2005 at 5:07 PM
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MiaElla
I can't begin to imagine how you're feeling. My sister and I are very close, and I don't think I could bear losing her the way you lost your brother. I'm glad to hear you are winning the battle so far, but don't be ashamed in those moments when it gets the best of you. It's normal, and you will pull yourself back up. All the best.
posted by
Holy_Grail
on February 7, 2005 at 4:47 PM
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if only
posted by
Unidentified_Hacker
on February 7, 2005 at 3:42 PM
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Unidentified_Hacker
I always said from a very young age that I wish I could keep those I love the most in a little box on my dresser.
Keep them safe and with me always.
If only we could be that selfish...lol.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 3:41 PM
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Witchflower
Thank you
And just so you know, I will get back to writing fiction very soon...a much needed escape.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 3:40 PM
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Tapsel,
My brother attempted and failed suicide twice....he seemed to have been getting better and then...This.
I'm only glad he didn't die by his own hand...I can't even begin to imagine how that would have made me feel.
By mother is searching for clues...always searching....
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 3:39 PM
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billy
I'm a pretty tough chick....I'm hanging in there.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 3:37 PM
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lovelymonk
thank you for keeping us in your prayers.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 3:36 PM
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Mia
Mia, death has been a rather common occurrence the past few months for a lot of people I know, including myself. I only hope that from all of the pain you are able to pull away the thought and understanding of just how precious life is. With each friend that leaves I find myself drawn closer to those that are still with me. You’ve been in my thoughts for days, and will continue to be there for many more.
posted by
Unidentified_Hacker
on February 7, 2005 at 3:18 PM
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You're in my heart, Mia.
Blessings.
posted by
Witchflower
on February 7, 2005 at 1:28 PM
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MiaElla - It has been hard for me to see you going through this because it brings back so much to me. I lost my only brother when he was 25. He committed suicide with a gun. My Mom spent the rest of her life looking for a last note from him. There was not one but she could not believe it. My Dad spent the rest of his life in regret feeling he had failed my brother. I lost my youngest son to cancer when he was 23. I never felt "wrong child" as compared to my other three but each of them felt that way because they felt that he was the most promising and did the most good for others. Never in this life will we have answers. In our sorrow, we need to love each other while we have each other.
posted by
TAPS.
on February 7, 2005 at 12:03 PM
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I think about you and hope you're okay
posted by
FreeManWalking
on February 7, 2005 at 11:53 AM
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Mia,
I wish I had some words that might comfort you...Know you're in my thoughts and prayers. Peace be with you.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on February 7, 2005 at 10:26 AM
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Mia
of course. I did on Saturday night. MAybe he heard then.
posted by
ladyofshalott
on February 7, 2005 at 9:04 AM
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Vib
Thank you
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 9:01 AM
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Lady
Next time you are on stage...sing your heart out for me.
Maybe my brother will hear you sing, since music was his favorite thing.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 9:01 AM
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RachelAnna
Thank you so much.
You are beautiful Rachel and kind...a wonderful combination.
Your post make me feel like I've come home to visit....just keep writing....you are so good at it.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:57 AM
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you are in my prayers. love, Vib
posted by
Vibrance
on February 7, 2005 at 8:55 AM
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Hey Mia...
The wrong child did die, because it was her child. I can't imagine the loss of one of my children and I ache for your mom.
I also can't imagine losing my brother. Although he drives me insane sometimes, our siblings are our links to everything and when our parents are gone, our only ties to them. And, I'm sorry you're missing this vital link in your life.
I know you're probably tired of the whole "I'm sorry" statement, but no other words come close to conveying how badly I feel for you.
Just know that you're on the mind constantly...
posted by
RachelAnna
on February 7, 2005 at 8:54 AM
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Mia
posted by
ladyofshalott
on February 7, 2005 at 8:32 AM
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SYMPHONY
I never understood death or loss before...everything I used to think was so important before...means nothing to me now.
I am not happy about my brother's death, but I am happy for the wake up call.
And I'm happy to have you. I don't know anyone else who has also lost a brother.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:32 AM
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Scriber,
I know. It's hard though.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:27 AM
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MiaElla
I feel your pain....I am still here whenever you want to talk....your mum will be flying with emotions and saying a lot of things that might feel unbearable...but it is her way of dealing with it.....as you have a way you deal with your own feelings...
talking about him keeps his memory alive...it worked for our family....I wish you and your family peace
I really hope you are ok...such a stupid thing to say ...but I have been thinknig about you......take care...my thoughts and prayers are with you....lots of love
posted by
_Symphony_
on February 7, 2005 at 8:27 AM
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You need to move on in your grief; time will make it somewhat easier .
posted by
scriber
on February 7, 2005 at 8:22 AM
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word.smith
Thank you.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:16 AM
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ginnieb
I am very lucky.I am very loved. There is a great comfort in knowing that.
Thank you for your kind words.
Much
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:14 AM
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Ariala
Thank you. I am really doing quite well...don't know if I'm in denile or what, but I seem to be coping much better than the rest of my family. I hope they can all find their own sense of peace. I know my brother would want us to keep living.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:13 AM
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Glad to know that you are hanging on Mia.
I cannot answer your question, but your family still have each other and that's important.
posted by
word.smith
on February 7, 2005 at 8:13 AM
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roof
I knew that about you.
Just keep being your humorous self. You make me laugh...and the world is definitely short on laughter...so you are in high demand.
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 8:11 AM
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Oh Mia...
So much pain. I hope there are many in your life who can wrap themselves with love around you. This is too much for you to handle alone.
posted by
ginnieb
on February 7, 2005 at 7:55 AM
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Mia, I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose a family member like
this. Wish I had the words and answers, but I don't. I just wish your family some healing.
posted by
Ariala
on February 7, 2005 at 7:54 AM
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I'm sorry I never really said anything until now... I've never been very good at the consoling thing when it comes to death. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, though.
posted by
roofpig
on February 7, 2005 at 7:51 AM
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Whammie,
I can't say it enough, but I really do have new respect for the police department and paramedics.
I could tell they were hurting right along with us.
One paramedic saw a picture of my brother's child in his wrecked Suv. He didn't stop trying to bring my brother back, until he was made to stop. He wanted a different ending for us.
I'm just happy there are good people in this world. It makes life much more bearable when you know you are not alone.
Much
posted by
MiaElla
on February 7, 2005 at 7:48 AM
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Mia,
I am sorry for the unbearable pain and excruciating heartache that you and your family are suffering.
Whammie
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on February 7, 2005 at 7:40 AM
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