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ThomasFranklin
Send her other - tell her to pack clean underwear.
posted by
chris2303
on January 31, 2005 at 12:38 AM
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Ariala
Why in God's short name would I be worried about personality?
posted by
chris2303
on January 31, 2005 at 12:38 AM
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Shavonne
Yeah but so do sheep. There isn't anything a woman can do that a sheep can't. In my opinion, at least...woo...baaa!
posted by
chris2303
on January 31, 2005 at 12:37 AM
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Spitfire
It's true, I'm a disgusting human being, but I still love you all.
posted by
chris2303
on January 31, 2005 at 12:37 AM
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Rachel
It doesn't matter - I'm a desperate, desperate person with little to give.
posted by
chris2303
on January 31, 2005 at 12:35 AM
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DEVILINME1
That's why I prefer to hang out with sheep. They always digest their food properly, plus they make a nice jumper.
And I've sent you an email! If you haven't got it I'll try again. It would be far too easy if my emails ever worked properly - I got yours by the way.
posted by
chris2303
on January 31, 2005 at 12:34 AM
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ladyofshalott
That's right, I'll take anything - I have money.
posted by
chris2303
on January 31, 2005 at 12:32 AM
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I have the perfect girl for you except shes 82 years old.
posted by
ThomasFranklin
on January 30, 2005 at 11:17 PM
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Gad...no mention of intelligence...it's all physical...grow up, baby
brother
posted by
Ariala
on January 30, 2005 at 2:28 PM
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Haven't you heard? Fat women keep you warm in the winter and shade you in the summer!
posted by
Shavonne
on January 30, 2005 at 2:20 PM
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I can handle most everything
you write and I will openly admit I "get" your humor, er, humour, hehe but I don't think I'll be able to recover from
"remnants of sweetcorn or baked bean skin" That's a tough one to "digest". 
posted by
SpitFire70
on January 30, 2005 at 1:18 PM
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Chris2303,
You told me you had 3 inches! Thanks for backing me up on that, Mark2556.
Now you tell me you only have 2 inches.
WHY DO ALL MEN LIE ABOUT THEIR SIZE?
I always wind up suffering from "Buyer's Remorse" due to false advertising!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on January 30, 2005 at 12:56 PM
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Wow...
Way to be specific. You left the window wide open for a butherface...be careful! You've got to be more specific about the physcial appearance!! :)
Anyway, funny post.
posted by
RachelAnna
on January 30, 2005 at 12:41 PM
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No corn up there...now, that is a new one. " I had to ditch that
bitch..when I pulled my dick out.. there was corn all over it! I mean, damn! I can't plug a bitch who doesn't digest and dig out good!" I guess I could come up with a few things nobody thought of either as requirements for a man. Hmmmm....Anyways..where's my email friend?
posted by
Kiddo75
on January 30, 2005 at 11:48 AM
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Chris
wow the perfect woman. Now you've answered the question of what men want......A non-specific looking ,cleaned out, anal freak
posted by
ladyofshalott
on January 30, 2005 at 10:01 AM
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homegirl
Sorry about that. I do try to be a good, regular person.
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 8:16 AM
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I think I've gone blind
your... ahem sex criteria almost made me hurl.
posted by
homegirl
on January 30, 2005 at 8:12 AM
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Well obviously...
Still, I did feel pretty intimidated by that movie...
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 7:17 AM
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Well, when I starred in
Dick Massive Meats his Match IV, I actually had 3-1/2", but it was just a styrofoam stunt-willy.
posted by
mark2556
on January 30, 2005 at 7:16 AM
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renigade3
Now you might be able to understand why I'm a 43 year old virgin.
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 7:13 AM
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mark
Yeah, well it was pretty obvious I didn't have a 3 inch penis. Nobody has one
that big, surely?
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 7:13 AM
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mark
Well, I suppose I could let you have her...er...she might have a bit of yoghurt on her bra. Maybe inside, too. Maybe some near her buttocks as well. Shit, how else was I supposed to get her out the bath?
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 7:11 AM
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Chris ~ You told Whammie you had 3 inches.
...I knew it was just the morphine talking.
posted by
mark2556
on January 30, 2005 at 7:10 AM
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Kelli
That's why I like sheep and the occasional badger. You can never quite rely on girls to fulfill...
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 7:10 AM
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Damon
I don't remember saying anything about skirts...moohaha
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 7:08 AM
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WHAMENATOR
Let me give you some assurance - I definitely do not make your qualifications. Two inch penis, remember?
posted by
chris2303
on January 30, 2005 at 7:07 AM
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LOVE FLAPS? Why, until I read your post I wasn't
even aware I had any! What a revelation!
posted by
Renigade
on January 30, 2005 at 6:44 AM
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With requirements as broad as these...
...I suspect you'll have women flocking to your kitchen by the hundreds.
However, you may have to eliminate your current housekeeper:
If you put another gallon of Crisco on her, you can possibly extract her without further damage to the tub. And please send her to me via FedEx.
posted by
mark2556
on January 30, 2005 at 6:22 AM
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You never know what someone may stumble upon in the girl dept.
posted by
Kelli
on January 30, 2005 at 5:34 AM
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It Seems...
...you're not that fussy in any department!
So you'd more or less shag anything in a skirt, right?
D
posted by
DamonLeigh
on January 30, 2005 at 5:28 AM
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Chris2303,
I seem to meet your qualifications, except for after sex I do not go to sleep, I get up and blog.
My mother is long since dead, so you can't get much more casual than that!
But I am not sure you meet MY QUALIFICATIONS! 
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on January 30, 2005 at 5:26 AM
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