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Oh, now I'm getting erect...
I always make such a fool of myself...better get the robo wanker out.
Robo-wank on, buddy. Robo wank the fuck on...
posted by
chris2303
on January 26, 2005 at 9:25 AM
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Chris ~ I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional when it was time to leave, but your heartfelt comments are making me....well, erect. Look away.
posted by
mark2556
on January 26, 2005 at 9:17 AM
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mark
I'd gladly keep an eye on my nutsack...however, as you know, it's pretty difficult to see and inspect it when there's so much green shit growing out of it. In fact, you can tell your friend, God, that no power of his can equal the sheer evilness of my sheep poisoned sperm balls.
Now listen, bitch, don't be shy with the emails. This is a sad day. Boo to your decision. Boo, and bollocks. You will always be my favourite little scumbag.
posted by
chris2303
on January 26, 2005 at 9:04 AM
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Chris ~ Don't worry...you don't have to live without me.
God told me he's going to kill you. He's a bit hard to understand sometimes, but I think what he said was, "That sheep-shagging twit has buggered his last beast. I'm thinking testiscular cancer. I'm thinking months of radiation treatments that turn his testes into dried-up raisins. I'm thinking the cancer spreads to his anus, which surgeons remove in a 20-hour operation. I'm thinking he lingers on an iron shitter machine for a couple of months until a power failure causes his feces to back up into his eye sockets. Oh, yes....".
'Course, he was speaking in Aramaic, so he might've been telling me this week's winning lottery numbers, too, but I'd keep an eye on my nutsack if I were you.
posted by
mark2556
on January 26, 2005 at 7:07 AM
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mark:
So what the fuck does this all mean then? I can't live without you, or your erotic sheep fantasies. Oh God, it's not fair....
Ta ra luv, may the fleece be with you...
posted by
chris2303
on January 26, 2005 at 5:17 AM
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Don't underestimate me. I can steal a wheelbarrow full of cash.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 8:55 PM
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posted by
RachelAnna
on January 25, 2005 at 8:45 PM
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More than you've got...
posted by
RachelAnna
on January 25, 2005 at 8:45 PM
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Well, how much do you WANT it to mean to me?
...we
are talking American dollars, aren't we?
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 8:42 PM
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Haha!
How much would it mean to you?!
posted by
RachelAnna
on January 25, 2005 at 8:38 PM
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Rachelanna ~ Please, beg me stay ~
...a tearful offering of "Please...I'll do anything" would really mean a lot to me.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 8:34 PM
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Woah...
Not sure what we'll do without your humor!
posted by
RachelAnna
on January 25, 2005 at 8:28 PM
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Earn money?!? Please don't start putting insane ideas in their heads. I told them they're dead and in purgatory, and the more t-shirts they churn out, the faster they get by St. Peter.
I've also got them convinced that 6 years is really nothing in the Heavenly scheme of things.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 7:00 PM
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Put this poster girl at the front of your sweat shop. Either they work faster to earn more money or they bunk off in search of their goddess.
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on January 25, 2005 at 6:55 PM
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T-shirt? Oh, shit. I knew I'd gotten off track again.
Tune in tomorrow. I've got over 20 illegal aliens sewing their little illegal hearts out over in the hurricane bunker, and they tell me I won't be disappointed. Or they're plotting to kill me; I really can't understand a word they're saying.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 6:50 PM
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I'm missing something here. Which is the T shirt?
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on January 25, 2005 at 6:14 PM
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OK, here's a sneak peak at an early prototype ~
However, it's not getting past Quality Control.
And there WILL be bibs. Oh, yes.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 5:38 PM
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Salivating? You might as well sell related merchandise like bibs, cloth napkins etc. Who'll clean the pavement?
Ann
posted by
A-and-B
on January 25, 2005 at 5:34 PM
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Ann ~ The first design will be released tomorrow morning.
I'm expecting a salivating horde at opening time, so be sure to get in line early.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 5:28 PM
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Where's the actual design of the T shirt? It maybe good to always view merchandise before purchase.
Ann.
posted by
A-and-B
on January 25, 2005 at 5:25 PM
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Slendah ~ Thank you. You're obviously quite insightful and brilliant...
...unlike the usual knuckle-draggers that stumble in here. Thanks for your patronage. I'll mention you to the Almighty the next time he calls.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 5:10 PM
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LMAO
You are just too funny man!
posted by
Slendah
on January 25, 2005 at 4:53 PM
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mark2556...uh huh
I totally agree.....it so would be
stupid thing was not meant to rhyme
posted by
_Symphony_
on January 25, 2005 at 3:19 PM
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Symphony ~ Of course God said it...
...it's not like I'm just making this stuff up. That would be sacrilegious.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 3:11 PM
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mark2556
if God said that...then ok
posted by
_Symphony_
on January 25, 2005 at 2:44 PM
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God talks to me...
posted by
Renigade
on January 25, 2005 at 9:57 AM
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How did you know I was holding my garden hose?!? Damn, this is scary.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:56 AM
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Alright--Just hold the garden hose for me...
posted by
Renigade
on January 25, 2005 at 9:53 AM
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Renigade ~ Guaranteed, or your money back.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:51 AM
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renigade, sounds like you're getting free shipping and fondling LOL
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 9:36 AM
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Mark--And you're sure this will get me into heaven?
posted by
Renigade
on January 25, 2005 at 9:35 AM
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Renigade ~ Yes, and you should only wear the shirt...pants would distract from it too much. However, if you're uncomfortable with just having the shirt on, feel free to wear high-heels as well.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:35 AM
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renigade
Yes!!! By all means!!!
posted by
David1Spirit
on January 25, 2005 at 9:28 AM
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I wouldn't want to go against God's wishes. Should I only wear the shirt
wet?
posted by
Renigade
on January 25, 2005 at 9:24 AM
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God and PastorB -- neither like my Merlin...I will change the
name to Michael, as in friggin ark angel.
The pyramid poetry stays, as does my crystal headband...keeps me in the know when fondlers are around.
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 9:24 AM
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Renigade ~ Congratulations...our first Tour T-shirt customer! You qualify for free shipping & fondling.
Is it for you? I'm afraid I can only send women the halter-top version, size XXX-Small. God told me so, and I don't want to piss Him off any more than necessary.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:22 AM
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hahahahaha, the pyramid shaped poetry wasn't mine! You mean I
get blamed for critiquing it anyway? Wow, sounds like original sin...
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 9:20 AM
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Ariala ~ He's the same one that kicked Eve's ass out of the Garden of Eden and told Adam, "Go on, chase after her, ya freaking pussy!".
He knows you, alright. And He's not to happy about the Merlin thing, not to mention the pyramid-shaped poetry. That REALLY set Him off.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:16 AM
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Mark
Fair enough!
Besides, remember what Chris predicted: "Armageddon 2006"!!!
I want to rent it when it comes out on DVD; just to see for myself!
posted by
David1Spirit
on January 25, 2005 at 9:16 AM
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I'll take one-extra large, please.
posted by
Renigade
on January 25, 2005 at 9:15 AM
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David ~ No longer than 12 months....I hate long good-byes.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:13 AM
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One more thing...
I'm glad to know this
god of yours doesn't know me. Scary dude. Is he from Argentina too? I get it now...Drug
Lord. It's all making sense.
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 9:11 AM
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mark, you have definitely been "touched," by who and what remains
to be seen. (My bet is on the drug dealer from Argentina...the fondler)
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 9:09 AM
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mark2556
As always, it left me laughing my ass off! 
I hope this Farewell Tour lasts and lasts, and that you add to it often!
posted by
David1Spirit
on January 25, 2005 at 9:08 AM
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Scriber ~ What in the heck does that mean? If it was from Chris2303, I'd say it's a reference to masturbation, but that can't be right. He isn't big.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:07 AM
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Well, this whole phondling pharmacist thing is really tickling your funny-bone, isn't it?
And there's no need to thank me for not making any "lard-ass" references. It's all part of my spritual reawakening. Onward, Christian soldiers.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 9:02 AM
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I've never threatened to leave Blogit, but I might if I can't talk a
certain right hand of the Big One to stay.
posted by
scriber
on January 25, 2005 at 9:02 AM
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He ships, but does he fondle? hahahahaha
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 8:59 AM
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Thank you, Scoopster. I was on hiatus for a few months...you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a decent druggist, but I finally found one in Argentina who ships at reasonable rates.
posted by
mark2556
on January 25, 2005 at 8:58 AM
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The lard photo on the side is terrible, but very funny.
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 8:55 AM
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shipping and fondling? hahahahaha
posted by
Ariala
on January 25, 2005 at 8:53 AM
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Finally sanity is restored to Blogit!
posted by
scoop
on January 25, 2005 at 8:51 AM
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