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Dark Dreamer, thanks for your
thoughtful comment. I can relate very much to your childhood fears as I had a similar experience with my dad.
posted by
Cynthia
on February 21, 2005 at 10:35 AM
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Anthony, I'll just have to get
used to that. I loved the Wiley image, the Coyote up there in the cold north and all...but thanks for your comment.
posted by
Cynthia
on February 21, 2005 at 10:33 AM
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telynor, I knew that about you
from reading your writing. your openness and honesty is what i liked best about your posts.
posted by
Cynthia
on February 21, 2005 at 10:24 AM
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Majroj, my consumption ebbs and flows
as does my sense that I have a probem or not.
posted by
Cynthia
on February 21, 2005 at 10:22 AM
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Thanks for opening up ...
My mother was a drinker. I talked to her about it a lot but she disagreed. I cried many times in bed thinking about how it was affecting her health. The thought of losing her killed me inside. It broke my heart to see her slipping away (even though she was functional). Reading your post, the first thing I thought about was a book I read (a short read) called, “Adult children of alcoholics” … it was pretty insightful. I cried at times when I recognized my own existence. Funny thing was my own mother had recommended the book to me. So, when I drink... and I do ~ I am careful. Please keep us posted … 
posted by
Dark_Dreamer
on January 25, 2005 at 1:21 PM
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Cynthia
Well you know about me, 38th year of sobriety.
Don't do AA much anymore, do believe that one can get sober on their own if they want to badly enough.
The problem does run in families, I have two siblings in AA since I quit, and one of my children has/had the alcohol/drug problem.
Now someone with your intelligence and skills, can make the decision to quit and follow through if they want to.
posted by
WileyJohn
on January 21, 2005 at 10:05 PM
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I am an alcoholic, been dry for about 13-15 years, but I still cope daily with the itch to drink. Usually staying busy keeps me from going nuts, and going to an AA meeting will usually fix the rest when I can't keep from going nuts. As a third generation of a drinking family (and it probably goes back much farther than that), it's sheer hell to be honest. I don't know if my brother has to cope with it or not, but the mark that drink has left on my family is a deep one. Good luck with it, and know that you are not alone in coping with it.
posted by
telynor
on January 20, 2005 at 9:50 PM
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Yes it is.
If we didn't have problems with it, then it would not be a problem.
posted by
majroj
on January 20, 2005 at 12:19 PM
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Ca88, that's what I like best about this way of communicating,
when you recognize yourself in others. It happens to me all the time.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 6:05 PM
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Ginnieb, I don't mind the "grilling
RG drinks one, maybe 2 glasses laced with fruit juice. He likes all things sweet, then quits. I generally drink a full bottle no matter what, stress or no stress, party or no party. I think what is best for me is the amount you hold yourself to, 2/3's of a bottle over an entire evening would be good.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 6:03 PM
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Majroj, your suggestions
about liver testing are excellent. I didn't know about that. My daughter is in nursing school and even before college she took nutrition courses. I'm sure she would point the same things out to me, but I tend to shy away from it with her. Her dad's alcoholism killed him. It's a difficult topic for her and for me.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 5:56 PM
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Wildwoman, I know you are right
and I am looking for answers. Thanks.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 5:51 PM
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Sheilake, That's what may happen
and you are right, I try very hard to make that bottle last 2 nights in Montreal.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 5:49 PM
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Original, that's a nice phrase "wishing well moments"
thanks.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 5:47 PM
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I can relate to so much here. My father was also an alcoholic, but would never admit it. I too enjoy my wine while cooking.
posted by
Ca88andra
on January 19, 2005 at 1:44 PM
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I agree with wWildWoman
"Alcoholism" is a disease which is very idiomatic and personal.
If you worry about alcohol killing you physically, ask your doctor and have some tests done while you are drinking customarily. Liver enzymes will show if that organ's being insulted. As for neurologically, you might notice stuff your doc doesn't at first,such as increasing clumsiness, forgetfulness associated with drinking, and having an over-all harder time learning and remembering the recent things while the past may become extra sharp...or seem to. (Also signs of increasing age!).
If you ever sacrifice other parts of your life for a drink or any activity related to alcohol, then you might have concerns about it killing you socially...THEN physicaly.
Many people drink as you do and have no problem. Many people drink as much as you do and slide into worse. Keep an eye on it, and try to remember it's recreational, not a foodstuff.
PS: Alcohol blocks B-vitamin utilization and blood clotting. Never hurts to get more nutrients into your diet!
posted by
majroj
on January 19, 2005 at 10:54 AM
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Does RG drink with you?
Or are you drinking alone? While I enjoy a glass of wine or two with dinner each night..can't imagine living without it..I don't usually feel the need to continue through the evening..I find it makes me too tired/tipsy to write or do other things. On the days you aren't working are you still wanting a full bottle? Wondering how much of it is related to your workaday stress levels? Do you drink more or less when out at a party or out with friends? Not trying to drill you..just thought maybe these questions might help? But you are functioning obviously very well so is it 'hurting' anyone at all?
posted by
ginnieb
on January 19, 2005 at 7:25 AM
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Cynthia
I lived a drinking life and am living a life of sobriety. I have lived with and observed varying degrees of alcholism. I don't think there are any simplistic views or answers. I do think that your particular answer lies within you.
posted by
Wildwoman_Laloba
on January 19, 2005 at 6:31 AM
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Cynthia - Good luck in Montreal. Buy a bottle of wine on the way. You won't be as prone to finish the bottle at your daughter's house. I can't imagine them joking about a glass or two....
posted by
sheilake
on January 19, 2005 at 5:31 AM
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Cynthia,
What I meant was that sometimes life gets the best of us and we have our moments that intrude...I experience that too....and I still need my wishing well moments to let me know those are the moments that we want to intrude....and life is tough---at times...
posted by
Original_Influence
on January 19, 2005 at 4:48 AM
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Original, I don't mean to imply
that I'm living in despair, but it may seem that way.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 4:44 AM
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I think it found me Cynthia
but I am a great believer in all things in moderation. I suppose I would say that a half to two-thirds of a bottle would be about right - ie a good two big glasses
posted by
beachbelle
on January 19, 2005 at 4:43 AM
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Thanks Beachbelle, It's all a balancing
act I suppose. You seem to have found a good equilibrium.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 19, 2005 at 4:41 AM
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The fact that it relaxes you probably offsets other things
such as any number of diseases caused by stress.
I used to like to drink more but since my daughter arrived and my brush with cancer I don't have the same desire for alcohol. My friends are surprised at the difference. I recall when I was pregnant I flew to LA and due to my condition I didn't have the normal brandy to send me to sleep after travel. The next day afer a sleepless night I realized that I should have had a nightcap as usual because the sleep would have been the best thing.
posted by
beachbelle
on January 19, 2005 at 4:33 AM
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It's a tough life....wishing you well...
posted by
Original_Influence
on January 19, 2005 at 4:24 AM
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