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Cynthia
I always shudder at that remark and yet my mother is in great shape and has done a few things. It used to irritate me when my husband sounded like his father but since his father died suddenly a while back I have tried to alter that feeling and say nothing of it
posted by
beachbelle
on January 17, 2005 at 8:18 AM
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Cynthia
Wow, there's hope for us nicotine addicts yet...
posted by
Rupert_Bottom_Paddler
on January 17, 2005 at 7:31 AM
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DEVIL, it's those genes that
get us in the end. Guess I should take heart if they survived to 80 with non-stop smoking.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 7:06 AM
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fw, sometimes I think you are
my alterego, the parallels in our lives...discipline was never high on my list as a parent either, love ruled.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 7:03 AM
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Ca88, I want people to say
that I look like my dad. He was and still is at 80, a handsome guy.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 6:59 AM
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Wiley, I'll be in Montreal this weekend
But the visit is so short. I'll probably have my camera aimed at my granddaugter the whole time. Let's definitely do the coffee thing closer to spring. So, you're half Danish? So am I. My dad was born in Denmark...
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 6:57 AM
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tweedhead, sounds like
both you and your wife have a good thing going.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 6:53 AM
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Original, She is pleased that I'm coming.
It's a start.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 6:51 AM
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ginnieb, it's a battle between
pity and empathy. I pity her, which is condescending. I lack the feeling that makes you love someone, but I know I will be sorry if she dies and we never resolved our past. You are very right.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 6:49 AM
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saving-mia, deep inside I believe
you are right. she tried but she was battling the limits of her own character.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 6:45 AM
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kingmi, I could imagine that
would happen. It's a good thought.
posted by
Cynthia
on January 17, 2005 at 6:42 AM
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Cynthia
I think there are many people like you who deliberately try not to be like their parents. I know I do, especially the old man. Sometimes though, like you said, the genes make the decision for you.
posted by
Rupert_Bottom_Paddler
on January 17, 2005 at 4:58 AM
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Sounds like your mom is jealous of your accomplishments ...
I hated my parents because they were always trying to get me to conform. They'd conformed all their life and it got them nowhere. Several years ago, they finally acknowledged I was somewhat of a success, even though I wasn't a doctor or lawyer.
We called a truce and now get along great, despite an occasional remark here and there.
Now they get on me because I'm so permissive with my kids.
posted by
fwmystic
on January 16, 2005 at 6:14 PM
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Unfortunately I look more like my father, but I have my mother's eyes.
posted by
Ca88andra
on January 16, 2005 at 2:11 PM
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Cynthia
Nice blog luv. That is so nice to read of you going to visit your mum in Florida. I,m proud of you and here we've never met.
Well, one time when you are coming to Montréal, I shall buy you a coffee at Schwartz or vieux Mtl. if you'll allow me.
You know Cynthia, that could have been my mum you were describing, she too smoked until she was 82 and only quit because I made her do that, when she was living with one of my sisters who was terrified mum was going to burn the house down.
My mum died at 86, but it was her British tenacity that I admired in her. She had only been "generally" schooled in Denmark as a girl, she was the daughter of a British judge and barrister.
Mums greatest gift to me was reading and doing the crossward puzzles!!!
posted by
WileyJohn
on January 16, 2005 at 11:20 AM
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I loved my mother; it's my father I can't stand. For my family, I did exactly the opposite of my father and exactly the same as my mother. My wife says she got two for the price of one.
posted by
tweedhead
on January 16, 2005 at 10:41 AM
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Cynthia,
I am sure that your mother will be thrilled to hear that comment...and to see you. We all take something from our parents and hopefully, it makes us better!
posted by
Original_Influence
on January 16, 2005 at 10:37 AM
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If nothing but for your own sake, it would be good to settle some things sooner than later. And maybe taking a completely different approach to your mother..letting her know the ways she has helped you (instead of hurt you)..may open up a new line of communication. Certainly worth a shot! Good luck! It sure ain't easy!
posted by
ginnieb
on January 16, 2005 at 9:53 AM
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She will appreciate knowing.
You may never understand the anxiety she felt as she struggled to be a good mother - knowing she was falling short.
posted by
saving_mia
on January 16, 2005 at 9:46 AM
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Cynthis, My mother said that the minute my father was dead, all the old
bitterness was gone. Only the sweet memories remained. I hope that is true.
posted by
kingmi
on January 16, 2005 at 9:00 AM
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