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Ciel
At your request, here is the link to my post: A Bright Red Faux-Velvet Bag Of Cheer.
Only as an adult did I realize the sacrifices my folks made for my brother and me, how the rules and mandates were really for our own good. The showed us the great highway of life, led us to the onramp. They allowed us to choose our paths, to determine our own speed, but they didn’t allow us to stop. As long as we forged ahead, they were happy and in turn, so were we.
posted by
Talion
on January 3, 2005 at 10:50 AM
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Well done, Ciel
It is a good analogy of how we work, or don't work.
posted by
pappy
on January 2, 2005 at 6:07 PM
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My soul is always hungry.
Hungry for Light.
Ben.
posted by
A-and-B
on January 2, 2005 at 2:14 PM
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excellent post...very interesting
thanks for sharing
posted by
_Symphony_
on January 2, 2005 at 6:54 AM
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Talion, thanks for taking a look and making some comment.
I grew up in similar conditions, and know now what I suspected then: that a child may not need more to obey, and be quiet, but definitely needs more. From what I read on your thread just now, you must have gotten quite a lot more to grow on! It shows in the warmth and joy in your Christmas gathering and traditions.
I would suggest that when the Parent overpowers the Child, then the Parent is being the louder. And, in real or in metaphoric families, that sometimes serves a wholesome purpose. The point is that the Child's needs need to be considered: the kid needs to be able to run around shouting the house down once in a while. The Child needs to have his pace matched sometimes, rather than having to always run to keep up. The Child needs to receive love on terms understandable to a child, to feel loved.
Likewise, Bodies have needs and imperatives to be respected, even as we sometimes have to let the Parent part of ourselves impose discipline and enforce patience. I think those who punish the Body in order to live a more 'spiritual' existence are missing the whole point of being born into a body in the first place. And those who live only for the gratification of their body are missing a great part of being human. Like, the 'being' part.
I am all in favor of showing kids a higher level than their own to reach for, but their own can't be disregarded or treated without respect along the way. I am not in favor of kids running households, but having their own safe place within the household. I am not in favor of punishing the body for existing, nor in giving in to its every impulse.
I clarify this not because I think you don't know--(I'm quite sure you do, in fact!)--but so my point is clear to anyone who might not have gotten it from my original post. They should now go read your post, and I would put a link here for it, but I don't know how. Feel free to add one, if you like.
posted by
Ciel
on January 2, 2005 at 2:15 AM
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The noisiest getting their way was definitely not the case when I was growing up. Of course I was raised in a household containing two librarians and an English teacher. It was no boot camp, but "Because I said so!" was the most in-depth explanation I ever recieved. As a child, it was all I needed.
posted by
Talion
on January 1, 2005 at 11:48 PM
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