Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
- Add a comment
- Go to GET LOST!!!!!!!...BUT ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you ever so much the-loanlady
excellent advice you have given me...I can not thank you enough.....you have made some great points....thank you thank you thank you thank you......for taking your time to read and help me....
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 29, 2004 at 9:57 AM
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My suggestions from personal experience:
1. If his Mom will realize he is the problem she can be helpful in visitations, I don't know but I only guess she may also be part of the problem.
2. If you don't feel comfortable about him seeing the children alone don't do it. Have our cousin be there. Encourage him to visit them in the morning when he will be less likely to be drinking, just hung over.
3. Make a schedule for him to visit and have him stick to it. It is good for the kids to see Dad, even if he isn't the best Dad.
4. Tell him you know you can't make him stop drinking but you will not tolerate it. Don't answer the phone late at night, after the pubs close or he can't go anywhere that's when the soppy lovey then turning mean calls come in. Just be in the habit not to answer after eight pm. Call your Mom or friends if you like in the evening and keep busy. Have a night off if his Mom is capable of babysitting, use the night for yourself alone don't just do laundry
5. Take the kids out to the park and for a walk everyday. This will start you on a routine and being outdoors even in crummy weather gets your mind in a better state and will burn some calories. You may not realize but this is very stressful and hard on your body and mind. Do little things for yourself and the children - the music is good but also bubblebaths and laughter...
This is only a temporary stage. It seems like eternity but in time everything gets better. It really does when you choose the path of your new life. I like your new years list, but make it a little shorter.
Much love and prayers
posted by
the-loanlady
on December 28, 2004 at 11:10 AM
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thank you so much RachelAnna
how are you...hows the family...are your girls having fun?...you must be so proud to have them all with you
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:57 AM
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thank you so much gypsyredhead33
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:57 AM
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happy new year 9457sue
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:56 AM
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thank you Ca88andra
I wish the same for you too
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:56 AM
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thanks Moondawg
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:55 AM
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scriber
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:55 AM
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thanks MerryAnne
I have not said anything to them either...only that he has a problem he is trying to sort out......I hope they realise soon enough what he is like
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:55 AM
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thank you so much lovelyladymonk
you are wonderful
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:54 AM
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thanks Gheeghee
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:53 AM
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thanks Vibrance
your probably right...I should get my cousin or my mum or sombody...thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 28, 2004 at 1:53 AM
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Good for you...
You've taken a stance against him and his abusive ways but are a big enough person to see that every child needs a father--at least the sober father that he can be from time to time. And, you can never be accused of NOT letting him see them.
posted by
RachelAnna
on December 27, 2004 at 8:32 PM
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Symph..
I wouldn't totally try to keep him from the kids. Especially on Christmas, but definitely supervise carefully. I understand your point of view on this one. Another thing, if you can have someone else there when he comes to visit for your own protection, you should.
posted by
RedHeadedGypsy
on December 27, 2004 at 6:36 PM
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symphony, he do have the right to give the gifts to you and kids, so it's
ok. Hope you are ok, wish you a happy peaceful new year.
posted by
Star5_
on December 27, 2004 at 5:41 PM
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Difficult choices to make. I wish the new year will bring you peace.
posted by
Ca88andra
on December 27, 2004 at 5:38 PM
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When a person turns to
alcohol he gives up his life to it's will. Perhaps someday he will find that there is no happiness in a bottle and get the help he needs. Until then you don't need to have much to do with him.
posted by
Moondawg
on December 27, 2004 at 5:13 PM
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It's hard to forget you...love Scriber
posted by
scriber
on December 27, 2004 at 4:20 PM
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I know it's hard Symph.
My Mom always let us see our Dad after they split up. Surprisingly she never said anything negative about him to us, she just let us figure out what kind of man he was for our selves. It didn't take that long.
posted by
MerryAnne
on December 27, 2004 at 1:58 PM
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Hang in there
Hello, Symphony...
I've just read some of your blogs and I want to tell you I think you're an absolutely amazing person! Both of my parents are alcoholics, (they openly admit this) so I understand some of what you've been through. You are the best source of strength and comfort for your beautiful children. God bless and keep you all.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on December 27, 2004 at 1:51 PM
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tell it vib. Hey Symphony...amazing how they just never seem to get the
picture. And they get worse. Hang in there, you know where I'm at......love ya ~gg~
posted by
Gheeghee
on December 27, 2004 at 11:51 AM
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the right thing to do is to protect yourself and the kids.
Arrange for superviser visit, otherwise you are creating an unsafe environment...this is the voice of experience speaking. Love, Vib
posted by
Vibrance
on December 27, 2004 at 11:20 AM
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