Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
- Add a comment
- Go to SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! ..........WHATS MY PROBLEM......!!!!!!!!!!
WHAMENATOR
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 11:40 AM
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SYMPHONY, THE LESSONS I TEACH WERE HARD WON FROM HARD KNOCKS UNIVERSITY
If you did not exactly understand what I meant in the last post....often when one lashes out at another, it is misplaced aggression, and not really actually directed at you, although it seems that way.
If your partner is cheating on you, who is easier to blame and to hate, the person you love, or a stranger?
If one is having a really bad day, going through a personal crisis, or simply not feeling well and they come at you in a hostile manner, then there are several ways you can react (you cannot control people, places or things, only your reactions to them):
You can respond with hostility;
you can recognize that while it is being thrown at you, the hostility is not really directed at you;
you can absorb the blow;
you can assertively address the treatment you are receiving--"I am sorry that you are having a bad day, but I have nothing to do with that, and I am really trying to help you, and I think you are being a little unreasonable and that I don't deserve that." (This will either be met with greater rage or, and more often, an apology and a softening of demeanor.);
or, you can just retain your patience, and say a prayer for the angry hateful raging person who just crossed your path, and another prayer of thanks that you are not like that miserable soul who reminded you how very blessed you are!
Whammie is done lecturing for the day. I hope this is making sense to you!
Now then.......Go get yo'self some Wild Monkey Sexy, honey. Have a blast! Hopefully it will be good enough for a Round 2! And practice safety!
Love,
Whammie
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on December 4, 2004 at 10:44 AM
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WHAMENATOR
thank you so much for everything
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 10:28 AM
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SYMPHONY, THANK YOU. I GUESS I CAN BE PRETTY BLUNT AND AM NOT
so good at sugar-coating the truth, or the truth as I perceive it. But then again, what you see is what you get with me.
If I tell you I adore you, I mean it. If I treat you like a friend, then you can trust that you are one. But if I say nothing at all, neither positive nor negative, then I probably do not care for you, and I just try not to allow negative energy to invade my space.
Even when someone comes at me wrong, I try to find a positive link or at least a neutral one. And angry people get really angry when they cannot provoke a reiprocative (another new word? maybe. I think today I will just rewrite the dictionary! LOL) angry and hateful reaction from you. I have too much Peace in my world to allow someone who means nothing to me take it away from me.
Think about these words, Baby Girl, and they will help you learn to establish Real Inner Peace and to not feel so responsible for others, with the exception of maybe the welfare of your children!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on December 4, 2004 at 10:17 AM
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WHAMENATOR
I love the way your honesty flows and how you get to the point.....no! I did not fall for it..that was my suspicion anyway!...I know he wants to go to bed with me and was just warming me up
....all I need to decide is when and where to meet him.............oooooooh whammie...I think you have talked me into it.....when really you should have scared me off more.........lol
.
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 10:00 AM
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Listen to me, that is just part of the script!
NO MAN is going to spend his money on a woman he does not know unless his ultimate goal is to get some pussy. The "I am not like that!!!" schpiel is part of the nice guy facade that they learn in Playa School. Hey, I am always saying, "Don't hate the Playa....Hate the Game!" AND I LEARNED FROM SOME OF THE BEST OF THE BEST!!! And now it is my turn and watch me get mine!!!
NO MAN IS GOING TO WINE AND DINE A WOMAN JUST BECAUSE HE ENJOYS HER WITTY CONVERSATION. I know you are not that naive and gullible. But we believe what we want to believe, so go ahead and buy that load of hooey if that is what you prefer to think.
One difference between men and women is that we learn that we are supposed to be more coy and act like we don't do such things, unless it is "special" while men learn to act like that is not their ultimate goal.
But like Big Sexy told me...if it is a guy that you are interested in keeping around, the burden is upon you, the woman to not make it too easy, that infamous double standard.
But, sweetheart, actions speak louder than words....so trust me on this...he might very much like you but he is totally out for a piece of ass!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on December 4, 2004 at 9:55 AM
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thank you so much WHAMENATOR
you are so experienced and know your stuff...the men I choose seem to be so sweet at first then they turn into right DICKHEADS!....he seems very sweet and a smooth talker..he never hinted once about going to bed with me and when he kept buying me drinks and I offered to buy him one back he refused...I then asked him if he was trying to get me drunk..he said no I am not like that!.....he asked for my number but I said no...give me yours and he did!....
no I didnt know that about murderers......wow!
he does not seem like a big mouth ....but then how do you know....and your right it is our buisness...and who cares what people think..........OOOOh I may just go for it....but then how long do I leave it?.......thanks whammie
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 9:43 AM
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In these types of relationships, choosing the right kind of person is
essential. You have to check out his reputation and make sure he has a wagging tongue.
Did you know that most murderers only get caught because they have the need to tell someone?
In a tryst, only you, he and the pillows know what happened unless one has a big mouth.
If he is honestly a friend, then you should be able to talk. You should be able to agree on discretion. Of course when you begin to make goo-goo eyes at each other, even Stevie Wonder will be able to see that you two did The Act! Still, if questioned, admit to nothing and deny everything. "We are just friends."
It is no one else's biz, anyway. If he is a friend and not a dickhead, then he should be willing to respect your reputation and your wishes for privacy and he should not be talking about your affairs anyway. You need to keep your mouth shut, too! And if you do get caught, seen in public together, F*CK IT!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on December 4, 2004 at 9:34 AM
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scriber ...thank you.
***blushes***
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 9:31 AM
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Symp--you'd be a good catch for any fisherman.
posted by
scriber
on December 4, 2004 at 9:29 AM
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thanks WHAMENATOR
I really like the idea of just having sex with him with no strings attached and all that...I never done that before...and I suppose there is a first time for everything...but the silly thing is...I am also worried about doing that because of my job...he comes in there and I don't want things to go wrong and then I get a name for myself...you see this is what I mean...I think of theses things even though it might not happen..........argh
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 9:26 AM
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SYMPHONY, I GUESS I AM LUCKY. I CAN SIMPLY USE A GUY FOR SEX
and then move on. Most of the times we stay friends. I know so many guys that hit it and quit it, but some men resent being used in such a shallow and superficial fashion! LOL. The ones that are really friends understand that it was the meeting of physical needs and we support each other to the fullest in the pursuit of the happily-ever-after.
Better to do it with him than with your asshole ex! No guilt, no regrets. Just do it. But be safe about it!!! And if he turns out to be a bonehead, then maybe you got some good sex out of it, hopefully. And you took that real first step into moving forward with your life!
Go for it! And worst case scenario, remember the words of Bob Segar "Night Moves"...."I used her, she used me, but neither one cared." Just make sure you yourself get something out of whatever you give up, and learn something from every one of Life's experiences!
Luv,
Whammie
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on December 4, 2004 at 9:18 AM
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DivineDiva ...you are so right
I hear you and I am nodding my head along with you....but it is so easily said than done......what if things go all pear shaped..or If I make myself look silly.....Taniliouous said to text him....maybe I should!.....but still I don't want to sound desperate so how long should I leave it....
thank you so much for your support
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 9:16 AM
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thanks mike-pilarte
you are such a sweetie....
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 9:12 AM
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Hey all male bloggers - help needed !
I know it's hard Symph, but try and figure out a way that won't stress you too much, and give this guy a call. I really think that sooner than later is better ! Hey all you male bloggers ! Help Symph here ! If you had given her your number what would you think if she called the very next day? Interested? What would you think if she waited a few days?
You don't have to meet up with this guy thinking relationship.......start with - a way to get out for a night just for you (no kids, no work, no nothing but you and him). It may turn out he's only good for sex, but bores you to tears otherwise......oh well.....
posted by
DivineDiva
on December 4, 2004 at 9:05 AM
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Life is too short and at times so fast. Unless you want to live the rest of you life asking "WHAT IF?", what if I had done this or that? Take your risk, life itself requires that you take risks so go ahead, make the call but quick! After, you will still be alive
posted by
michael_pilarte
on December 4, 2004 at 9:05 AM
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erinlove ...thanks for understanding
I just now need to get myself out of this trap.....I am also very shy.....I need to grab some confidents and get rid of this low self esteem, so I can get out there and take them risks.....I think I just need to make my heart strong again...to then break again...
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 8:55 AM
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Symphony
We all have emotional baggage, but I don't presume to understand yours, though! I've often gotten scared to open myself up, too. So I don't know what I am talking about. I can't even come on to my own husband sometimes, for fear of rejection!
posted by
erinlove
on December 4, 2004 at 8:46 AM
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erinlove ...that is very true
but my emotional baggage holds me back
posted by
_Symphony_
on December 4, 2004 at 8:39 AM
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Symphony
You don't get anything you want out of life without taking chances!
posted by
erinlove
on December 4, 2004 at 8:37 AM
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