Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
- Add a comment
- Go to THE MONSTER IS GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!! TIME TO TAKE SERIOUS ACTION!!!!......
the-loanlady thank you ever so much for understanding and for your support
and advice....my husband chose his drink over me and he is very abusive and violent, I tried to help him, but it got me nowhere, we have been split up for a few months now, but he wont leave me alone.....thank you so much for everything, I think its a great idea to get skilled up...thats what I plan to do
...take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 22, 2004 at 10:24 AM
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My xhusband, and alcoholic mean abuser, still does not get it even after four years divorced/,apart. I can not tell you what is right for you.But these things are helpful: The pictures of your beautiful children will tell you. Be happy. Fine tune your job stills. Go back to school if you have to. Squirrel away some money. Get help from family. Get the kids to talk, go to some counseling- they will know everything, even when you think you shield them. Talk about it. Don't give up on him, the phone is still ringing- I know you are frowning - but I hear love still in your writing. You go to families of Alcoholic meetings alone if you have to. You are in my prayers for strength wisdom and being Mom.
posted by
the-loanlady
on November 22, 2004 at 9:34 AM
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sarooster, thank you so much for your encouragment
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 22, 2004 at 1:44 AM
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SillySoul88
thank you so much for your wonderful comment, yes I have thought it out, we have been split up for a while now because he chose drink over me....thank you so much for your support
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 22, 2004 at 1:43 AM
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You did your best. All you can give is your love.
I guess the old boy has some kind of mental imbalance that could probably easily be fixed with some good help. If he doesn't want to admit it there is nothing you can do. Live your life to the fullest and enjoy it as much as you can.
posted by
sarooster
on November 21, 2004 at 5:57 PM
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There's always a middle ground, just where is it?
Symphony,
I know the feeling of wonder where is the middle ground where someone not either cheering you up or putting you down, I just stopped the rat race and stand back and observe . You know when it comes to people for the most part, they are who they are, but sometimes we see something positive in them and we know it eventually come out. Marriage is hard especially if your not sure who this person really is or because of there own personal problems they tend to take it out on whomever. It’s hard to deal with a person who refuse to take reasonability for their own demise. Sadly, they have to wake up or fact it eventually. I have to say you have a positive attitude about this, it seem that it was a decision that you have carefully thought through. I agree right now your not going to know how life will go and taking it one day at a time is the best thing you can do. I wish you all the goodness there is in life. Sillysoul88
posted by
SillySoul88
on November 21, 2004 at 4:45 PM
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scriber...thank you
anybody in mind
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 2:52 PM
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Symp--yes move on; you will find someone better, I'm sure...
posted by
scriber
on November 21, 2004 at 2:50 PM
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littlemspickles thank you ever so much
I guess in life you wont understand nobody unless you want them too......its hard enough getting to know yourself...thank you for reading...have a lovely day .....take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 2:31 PM
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Symphony
You can care for and love people as much as you can but there will always be someone who takes advantage of this. Don;t ever give up caring and loving but remember you need to do the same for yourself. Do what you think is right for you and you will then be able to continue caring for others. Take care.
posted by
littlemspickles
on November 21, 2004 at 2:26 PM
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daisyface...wow
you are not saying inappropriate things you are speaking truth that speaks volumes to me, and your right words hurt sooo bad and if I carry on letting him hurt me then things will never change...I say we both have louise hays to thank her for so much she also is straight to the point, which I respect so much better, thank you so much for caring and giving me the time of day....you truly are wonderful....
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 2:03 PM
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symphony
i hope i'm not sticking my foot in my mouth and saying inappropriate things.. but really... never forget what a beautiful being you are. remember that saying, sticks and stones my break my bones, but names will never hurt me... that's the biggest crock of shit ever said. really. names, words, they linger. it took me along time to figure it out, but it was my choice to let it hurt me, and it was my choice to let them go (thank you louise hay) . not all men are bad. there are alot of great ones out there.. unfortunately we need to encounter unworthy frogs first. perhaps they are little lessons we just need to learn so we don't make the mistakes when the right one comes along??? who knows.. stay beautiful!!
posted by
daisysface
on November 21, 2004 at 1:59 PM
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daisysface
thank you ever so much, I am so sorry that you have been through it and know how I feel,..your comment was wonderful, it really was true and right to the point....thank you so much, I hope you are ok?....take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 1:52 PM
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Symphony.. never forget, you are the most important person. You can't help people who don't want help. No matter what you do, you can never get them to see your point of view. You have two very beautiful kids who need you. They don't need to be confused by negativity surrounding them, there's enough of that which you can't control.
I've been in this situation, slowly I'm putting it in my blogs. You'll figure out what's best for you, and what the right thing to do is. Just trust in yourself, and don't let anyone bring you down. It's never about you, it's always about them, they just project to bring your spirits down. It's your choice to let it affect you or not...
posted by
daisysface
on November 21, 2004 at 1:46 PM
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poetkitty thanks so much
for your encouragement and support
...I am sorry you have been through it
.....I have a few people who tolerate what I am doing...but only here on blogit ..those understand....thank you you all
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 1:35 PM
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Sweet girl, we're here
I have faced similar demons, Symph, and had to leave my husband just over a year ago because of the same realizations - I was sick of being used, misunderstood, and put down in subtle and dramatic ways. Be strong, it's a new chapter, and I am sure you have heaps of people who love and support you.
Take care of you,
poetkitty
posted by
poetkitty
on November 21, 2004 at 1:21 PM
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DivineDiva
thank you so much for reading and understanding and of course for your support....I am sorry that you have been through it, I appreciate that you understand....thank you so much for everything
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 1:17 PM
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You are going to come out of this stronger than ever
Symph,
I experienced somewhat of the same issues only my husband was vile and abusive due to mental instability and not drink. Like you I tried to help him, help himself but he preferred to think it was everyone else's problem.
It was a scary time, I left with the children, no money and a police escort to ensure our safety out of the house.
Symph, it was my freedom day and it will be yours too. Moving to the next wonderful stage of your life without this man will be the best thing that ever happened to you. You are a strong, caring person and your family and friends will support you when you need it. Your children, when they are older, will admire the determination of their mother.
Stay strong and be happy !
posted by
DivineDiva
on November 21, 2004 at 1:09 PM
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Ann
thank you so much for your support
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 1:01 PM
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Go ahead on the D-day,
one chapter closes,
the next begins.
Lovely new pics.
Ann
posted by
A-and-B
on November 21, 2004 at 12:56 PM
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A_Norseman
I would not have minded if you had taken up the whole comment space...hehehe
I am so sorry for what had turned out for you, and I understand completely, your relationship sounds exactley like mine, my husband constantly verbal abuses me, he brings up anything that will cut me in two, and he does it out of nowhere, we did not even have to be arguing for him to start, he has took drinknig on as his new best friend and has got very violent, he hit me the once, but once was bad enough, we both have been through so much and I do believe that I can stronger than him, he really does need professional help but wont seek it, and I am running away from it all, as I have wasting enough of mine and my childrens time on him....now its time for me and my children to live our own life
thank you so much for your wonderful comment, I am so sorry that you know exactley what I am going through...take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 12:52 PM
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Symphony...
I was marreid once. I married young and entered into it hopefully, and with confidense. She actually changed before the wedding took place but I was very idealistic and bent on fullfilling my promise. She changed horribly, wickedly, and ten years later I had become a facsimilie of myself because every drop of my energy was poured into trying to appease her vile nature. I lost myself, my personal identity, and I believe would have lost my life had I not finally ended it. I would have ended it sooner but she always threatened that i would never see my children again. Anyway...the day after I had made up my mind, I walked into my mothers house, she looked at me and cried saying that I looked like me again. I hadn't even looked like myself in two years and she could notice the change in me immediately. That all happened about 15 years ago, my ex-wife now takes medications for her chemical imbalance, she still tries to hurt everyone around her including my children. I encourage you, if this relationship is anything like mine was to run as fast as you can for your own sake, and the sake of your children. Unhealthy people want everyone around them to suffer as much as they do, but you deserve better than that. Don't get sucked down with him. Sorry I took up so much comment space. I wish you the best.
posted by
A_Norseman
on November 21, 2004 at 12:41 PM
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RachelAnna thank you so much
I appreciate that you understand me so well.....I can not wait to get to that place
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 12:31 PM
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KlaraRoberts
thank you so much for everything
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 12:30 PM
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I think you are at a place now where you are beginning to see what you want
and figuring out how to go after it. You're doing great. Just keep feeling your way through things and eventually, you'll get to that place where you are happy, comfortable, and confident and no one can tear you down.
posted by
RachelAnna
on November 21, 2004 at 12:30 PM
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Beach is right, Symph. You will grow in ways that will be wondrous once
you are completely through with him.
posted by
KlaraRoberts
on November 21, 2004 at 12:18 PM
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beachbelle thank you so much
I really hope so..
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 12:17 PM
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One step at a time and you will be OK
I guarantee that even a year from now you will look back and wonder at the change in yourself.
posted by
beachbelle
on November 21, 2004 at 12:09 PM
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word.smith thank you so much for your support
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 12:04 PM
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Tanoolicious
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 12:02 PM
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I have no advice Syphony...
but you know what's best for you and your family. Do what makes you happy.
posted by
word.smith
on November 21, 2004 at 12:02 PM
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posted by
Tanoolicious
on November 21, 2004 at 11:44 AM
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MerryAnne
thank you so much for your support.....you are so wonderful
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 11:38 AM
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Tanoolicious
thank you so much....you are the bestest friend ever............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 21, 2004 at 11:38 AM
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I think you are right,
you priorities are in the right place. just keep moving forward. *hug*
posted by
MerryAnne
on November 21, 2004 at 11:34 AM
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****HUGS**** Youre a wonderful person and an amazing friend and you dont need to put up with anyone who hurts you and makes you upset. do what your heart makes you feel comfortable with, I'm here for ya
posted by
Tanoolicious
on November 21, 2004 at 11:29 AM
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