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- Go to I'M SORRY I'M TOO SHY AND TOO UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN I AM AROUND YOU...........
Jay9
I ma the same...I like to work people out first............thanks for sharing..........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 1, 2004 at 4:39 AM
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jimmy68
thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 1, 2004 at 4:38 AM
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robdon67
thank you ever so much for sharing.....I will need to learn this techinque......thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 1, 2004 at 4:38 AM
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Original_Influence
thank you for your advice...take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 1, 2004 at 4:37 AM
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Ca88andra
yes I suppose it is...........
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 1, 2004 at 4:37 AM
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neamer
thank you very much for sharing
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 1, 2004 at 4:36 AM
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RachelAnna
thanks for relating.......do you know it took me about 6 months before I could eat in front of my husband...down to shyness................and I could not meet his parents until a few days before we got married...lol.......and I can laugh how stupid I am now...but thats a silly shy example...........
posted by
_Symphony_
on October 1, 2004 at 4:36 AM
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I'm also very shy when I first meet people, I like to work out where they
are coming from, what makes them think before I say anything. It takes me a while to feel comfortable. I hate the feeling but I would rather be like this than talk for the sake of hearing my voice. I prefer silence to mindless chatter.
posted by
Jay9
on October 1, 2004 at 3:31 AM
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I think most everybody feels like that at least sometimes...
bravery is not a lack of fear, it is doing what you need to do regardless...take a leap into the unknown, you'll probably like it...
posted by
jimmy68
on September 30, 2004 at 10:12 PM
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hi symphony, i can relate to the shyness issue sometimes even in relation to my own family. i've learnt some techniques that i sometimes use to help (when i remember to use them) ... tapping into a particularly memory of a moment when i was confident .. stepping into that memory and feeling how confidence felt in my body and thoughts .. breathing deeply ... speak in a bright and happy tone of voice ... using confident body language ... sometimes acting confident leads into being confident
posted by
robdon67
on September 30, 2004 at 8:09 PM
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Symphony....
time is a great teacher...realizing that what people think or say means little helps too....also realizing that many people feel the same way adds confidence....smile...
posted by
Original_Influence
on September 30, 2004 at 6:05 PM
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In certain situations I consciously set my body language to get the result I want, like job interviews. Its all really acting I suppose...
posted by
Ca88andra
on September 30, 2004 at 5:40 PM
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My Most Excellent Symphony,
As I stumble through life, I manage to, by the grace of God, pick up an occassional Great Truth.
One such truth is that othere people are far too busy worrying about what you think about them (Witness the energy you put into such activity and know that you are not unique in that regard) to have a moment to notice anything, good or bad, about you!
Another Truth; Those who judge others most are the most concern about others judgement of them.
Finally, after all is said and done, the only opinion of oueselves that will matter is the one held by our Creator
posted by
neamer
on September 30, 2004 at 3:11 PM
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I'm the same way to a certain extent...
Even with my husband who I am comfortable around, sometimes things I need to say are better expressed through writing, because I just can't seem to find the right sequence of words when I try to verbalize them. It's odd, isn't it?
posted by
RachelAnna
on September 30, 2004 at 2:56 PM
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mary_x
thanks for reading and sharing....and I promise if I find out I will pass the knowledge your way
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 30, 2004 at 1:08 PM
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Symphony,
It is hard to relate to people in a real way. I try to remember that most people feel the same way. But I feel like I'm wearing a mask and others are, too. A lot of relationships seem like role playing rather than connecting. I don't know what to do about that, I wish I did. If you find out, let me know.
posted by
Blanche.
on September 30, 2004 at 1:06 PM
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Oceandancer
thank you so much for sharing.............and for reading....take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 30, 2004 at 12:44 PM
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Hmmm
Good question. When you become very accepting and loving of yourself, the social thing becomes somewhat easier. Hardest thing in the world to do. It's like we're trained to be negative self-talkers, bringing ourselves down.
posted by
Oceandancer
on September 30, 2004 at 12:31 PM
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MariVye
lol
no I need the determination....so encourage me as much as you can.......................I will do more
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 30, 2004 at 11:28 AM
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Symphony - I'll probably bug you so much about the exercise that you will start exercising just to get me off your back! But, the stairs are a good thing - do those some more! Maybe a bit unnecessarily even. I don't have stairs in my life and I find that to be a detriment. No stairs at work or daycare and very very few at my house and my parents'. I know stairs are a very good and inexpensive way to exercise!
posted by
MariVye
on September 30, 2004 at 11:16 AM
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MariVye
thank you ever so much for understanding and relating.....althoug I am sorry you too feel like this.........it is so hard...but it is so nice to hear somebody else say the same...your comment was like I had wrote it.....thank you so much for sahring this all with me...I feel like we can relate to a lot of things......and yay for you for the excercise..well done I am very proud of you...
the most I have done is up and down the stairs a few times.......but I promise to do more ...thank you take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 30, 2004 at 11:03 AM
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PS: In a nutshell - I feel socially inept ~
posted by
MariVye
on September 30, 2004 at 10:57 AM
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Symphony - definitely I can understand what you are going through. I have always wondered if I was socially retarded or something. I have a very hard time relating to people and feeling relaxed with them. I need much reassurance and a lot of contact with someone before I can be comfortable letting a bit of the real me show. After I feel that the person still likes me and wants to be around me I will let show a bit more of the real me and that continues for a long time - as long at the person stays around to be my friend. Therefore, only a very few people know the REAL and true me (mom, hubbie, and sister).
I also feel that I can express myself better when I write. That is why I love this place so much, write in journals, email so much, and send snail mail letters so much. I need the extra time to sort my thoughts. When I am uncomfortable I become confused and have a hard time conversing with someone. If I am comfortable with them I have a bit of an easier time - but not always good. I leave social gathers with a sinking feeling because I feel like I totally messed up and everyone thinks I am stupid, socially unfit, or a snob!
*sigh*. This has gone on my entire life. I can make small talk a bit better now that I am more mature and a bit more comfortable with myself - but it rarely feels comfortable when I talk to strangers, acquaintances, and even some friends. I tend to feel very inferior. I know this is a self-esteem problem - I've had this problem since I was a kid!
Anyway - sadly, I don't have any answers for you--- but do know that you not alone.
BTW: on the other subject we discussed a day or two ago - have you been able to exercise? I took a walk at the park by the lake on Monday and exercised on my easy glider last night! Yeah for me! I hope you have been able to exercise too ~
posted by
MariVye
on September 30, 2004 at 10:56 AM
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MiaElla
thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 30, 2004 at 10:54 AM
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jamryn
thank you ever so much for your help...I will defantly check it out...you are very kind to help me out...you are a wonderful person all together..I can not thank you enough.
I hope you are ok?
have a nice day.....take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 30, 2004 at 10:54 AM
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Just checking in
posted by
MiaElla
on September 30, 2004 at 10:48 AM
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Since you asked
I have a one word answer. I use to feel tha same way. In fact your whole post would have been word for word that I would have said 25 or 30 years ago. Jetures do say a lot about you. It is a form of communicating that a lot of people mis-interepert.
The one word answer - since you did ask is TOASTMASTERS. Don't say no or shy away so fast. This organazation is all about communication of all types. It's not just speaking or leadership. What you will find is a group of people very similar to you - frirndly - open minded and ready to help you with 100% positiveness .
Go to Toastmasters.org and click on - a club near you - select two or three groups and go and just observe what they are doing. Tell them the same things you just mentioned in this blog . I'll bet you that find exactely what you'r looking for. Don't think or say no at this time - go - check it out and let me know what you found out.
posted by
jamryn
on September 30, 2004 at 10:46 AM
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