Go to Spitfire- The Aries Poster Child
- Add a comment
- Go to Answer This! Today's Hypothetical Question: (#15)
Mark, I don't get it. What's so weird about 8-legged platypus people?
I have one running through the sprinklers in my front yard right now.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 30, 2004 at 2:56 PM
| link to this | reply
Parallel universes populated with 8-legged platypus people aren't as weird as Michael Jackson, but Princess is running a darned good 2nd place.
posted by
mark2556
on September 30, 2004 at 1:45 PM
| link to this | reply
Aw, come on now, Mark!! He's awesome!
Okay, okay, he got a bit weird for a while there, no, okay, he got really weird, but not nearly as weird as Whacko Jacko!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 30, 2004 at 1:40 PM
| link to this | reply
The Artist Formerly Known As the Artist Formerly Kown As The Only Alledged Male Artist With Less Chest Hair than Michael Jackson? Eeeeeew!!
posted by
mark2556
on September 30, 2004 at 1:30 PM
| link to this | reply
Whammie, I know, Prince rocks...Well, the older stuff like Purple Rain.
Prince was big on my list back in high school. I think in like 84 when Purple Rain came out. Man, I just realized that was 20 years ago!!!!! OMFG!! Say it ain't so.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 30, 2004 at 1:24 PM
| link to this | reply
I LOVE PRINCE!!!!!!!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on September 30, 2004 at 2:01 AM
| link to this | reply
I can understand your dilemma, Whammie!!
Though I never persued any beauty contests, I did have a similar experience when I was a gymnast. I was told to resonstruct a part in my floor exercise routine that was considered a bit "racy" (I was in high school and the music routine was to "Let's Go Crazy" by Prince) I was pissed and said it was against my "artistic creation". No go. I was told I MUST change the specific "sexual overtone" part of my routine for the meet. I agreed. I changed the unacceptable parts and it was approved by my asshole coach and the other powers that be. When I performed my routine at the meet (being my last of all 4 competition requirements: Vault, Balance Beam, Uneven Bars, and Floor Exercise) I never changed my routine from the get-go. I got quite an ovation for it, too! hehe They must not have realized the true spitfire rebel they were dealing with. Thought I was all talk, I guess.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 30, 2004 at 1:57 AM
| link to this | reply
POOR MARK2556...........HE REALLY IS A VICTIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on September 30, 2004 at 1:30 AM
| link to this | reply
I put my foot in my mouth on a daily basis......good thing I am flexible!
When I was in my ultra-born-again-Christian Phase, and I was also really into working out, I was in a preliminary pageant for Miss Ohio.
The question was someting to the effect of how do you consolidate your Christianity with the sexuality of body-building and pageantry, or something like that in a nutshell................
"OH, I THINK SEX IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(er, what I mean to say is that sexuality is important to us all. We have hair salons, how many gyms, and all of the apparel stores. So, it is important for us to be attractive to the opposite sex, or we would not do all of that! Sexuality is an important part of who we are!) or some shit like that..............
That is what I blurted out. Yeah, future Miss America here!!!!! LOL
I managed to clean it up pretty good in the wake of that comment, but I knew that for the rest of the pageant I may as well just relax and have fun, no chance of winning that one!!!
TRUE STORY!!!!!!!!
Luv,
Whammie 
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on September 30, 2004 at 1:20 AM
| link to this | reply
Thanks, well to mention some may cause disrespect to the dead. Just say they were family....
posted by
mariantonia
on September 30, 2004 at 1:13 AM
| link to this | reply
mariantonia, I don't care! I'll still kick their butts!!
I especially loathe child bullies!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 30, 2004 at 1:11 AM
| link to this | reply
Long stories from childhood days....
posted by
mariantonia
on September 30, 2004 at 1:09 AM
| link to this | reply
Aw, mariantonia!! Where are they? I'll kick their butts for bullying you!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 30, 2004 at 1:01 AM
| link to this | reply
I don't remember having foot and mouth disease. More like coerced into silence by many bullies....
posted by
mariantonia
on September 30, 2004 at 12:42 AM
| link to this | reply
Aw, come on, aardvark!!
You suck!
Throw me a bone, huh????
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 29, 2004 at 11:40 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh, DAMN, Itlmac!! Cool that ya caught the neckless but bummer
about the bust!!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 29, 2004 at 11:39 PM
| link to this | reply
I plead the 5th.
posted by
aardvark
on September 29, 2004 at 2:02 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh Man!! Too many to pick just one...
Mentioning a forbidden outing right in front of my mom...
I went to a concert with some friends and spent the night at one friend's house that night. My mom had told me no about the concert, but forgot about when it was by the time I asked permission to "spend the night with my friends". We went to the concert and had a blast. I thought I was home free. A few days later my brother asks me where I got the cool chain I was wearing around my neck. Before I could remember that my mom was around the corner, in the kitchen, I had already blurted out..."The drummer at the Night Ranger concert threw it out and I caught it.
Not funny, but memorable...
ltlmac70
posted by
superflymom119
on September 29, 2004 at 11:08 AM
| link to this | reply
No, the tense in my comment was messed up...I paid alimony ("maintenance" was the actual word....no children) plus half of every other frigging expense she could manage to accrue for a 2-year period. Plus, half the value of a house that I'd already paid for once (although in retrospect, I could've sold it and moved into a refrigerator box and been much better off). The impact took ten years to recover from, after which I finally bought my house here in South Florida, in 1997.
However, she never married the sap she moved in with sixteen or seventeen years ago. As far as I know, they're still there. I haven't spoken to her since around 1990, but my ex-mother in law and I talk a couple of times a year, and that's what I'm told.
She wasn't really Satan's stepdaughter...just a foster child. One of those people that's constantly angry about something and with somebody. That didn't work too well in my slap-happy, idiotic world.
posted by
mark2556
on September 28, 2004 at 6:50 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh, Mark, I don't need to physically BE in any certain place to
make things happen!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 6:42 PM
| link to this | reply
Wait, I have one question Mark...
If you are still paying alamony to Satan's Stepdaughter, (I'm not sure if you are
still paying) most states proclaim it to be legal to discontinue payments if the ex-spouse has a live-in mate or gets remarried.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 6:41 PM
| link to this | reply
It's OK. If you're ever going to Colorado, though, I have a package I'd like you to deliver, preferably on a moonless night. You'll need a fast car, too.
posted by
mark2556
on September 28, 2004 at 6:39 PM
| link to this | reply
I stand corrected Mark.
Sorry.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 6:37 PM
| link to this | reply
Full of it? In 1987, after seven years of marital bliss with Satan's Stepdaughter, the ex-Mrs.2556 and 90% of my ex-money relocated to the mountains of Colorado, where she has continued to suck my income into a perfect vacuum for two more years, and has remained ever since with her live-in boyfriend, or maybe captive is a better word.
I'm sticking with my original answer. Where do you think the country song If I'd Killed You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out By Now came from, anyway?
posted by
mark2556
on September 28, 2004 at 5:57 PM
| link to this | reply
Never thought about it like that! She just complained to my father really, but she probably opened herself up to more ridicule from her colleagues. I can't remember the hat now, but I know it was one crazy piece of headgear.
posted by
Witty_Woman
on September 28, 2004 at 5:31 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh Mark2556, YOU'RE FULL OF IT!!
You know damn well you don't regret that!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 5:30 PM
| link to this | reply
Geez, MelodyS, did you confront her yet? Were you there too?
I assume you won't be confiding in her anymore!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 5:29 PM
| link to this | reply
Witty-W, I'm surprised the lady even admitted to being insulted!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 5:28 PM
| link to this | reply
JFC, Hollee!!!!! What a doozy!!
You're the winner so far! Holy crap on a stick! Double whammie for you, huh?
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 5:23 PM
| link to this | reply
Oh, Scoop!! That sucks! Couldn't you get out of it by saying
"I meant since you've just been in an accident" or something? Nah, even if ya did I bet it was too late. Damage done. Foot enters mouth and we move on!!
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 5:21 PM
| link to this | reply
koriani, wow, both those situations suck!! Don't ya hate it though, when
someone says or does something to you and you actually get embarrassed
for them? Weird.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 5:19 PM
| link to this | reply
Holy Crap, Symph! This is exactly one of MY moments, but my mom said it
to my high school counselor. We were getting ready to leave her office and my mom said, "When's the baby due?" I almost died on the spot.
posted by
SpitFire70
on September 28, 2004 at 5:17 PM
| link to this | reply
Two words: "I do".
posted by
mark2556
on September 28, 2004 at 10:57 AM
| link to this | reply
I had told a friend of mine a secret and found out just this weekend it was brought up at a friends house in front of everyone and she was standing right there. So much for trust!
posted by
Melodystar
on September 28, 2004 at 10:48 AM
| link to this | reply
This is something I do all the time and there have been numerous incidents, but I can't think of a single one offhand (I think I block them out). Oh yes, I can think of one now. When I was in my teens, my best friend and I were rather wild and we used to wander around the town being rude to people and calling them names (well, it was fun at the time). During our school lunch-break one day we were doing this as usual and I told a woman that her hat was stupid and made her look like an idiot, or something along those lines (silly, childish stuff!). Anyway, when my father came home from work that evening he asked me why I'd told a woman in his office that she looked like an idiot. Trouble is, it was obvious to me that he agreed with me because he was doing his utmost not to laugh and not succeeding very well. I admitted it was me, but I said I wasn't going to apologise because the hat really was stupid. My Dad didn't disagree with me, he just said "Yes, but did you have to tell her that?"
posted by
Witty_Woman
on September 28, 2004 at 8:48 AM
| link to this | reply
From 1964 - 1969, we lived in Cincinnati, in the city, not a suburb.
Our neighborhood was mostly Jewish. My best friend, Caroline Justin was Jewish. Her parents were taking Caroline and I to Hebrew School - I went with her all the time. Caoline said something to me, can't recall what, and I raised my hand and said, "Heil Hitler." I don't know where I would have seen that gesture at that age or heard the words - probably tv. Caroline's mom's shoulders jerked. Caroline whispered in my ear, "You shouldn't say that. My parents' families were all killed at Auschwitz." I had to ask Dad what Auschwitz was that night. the next day I took Mr. and Mrs. Justin flowers I picked from Mrs. Cohen's garden next door and apologized profusely. Mrs. Cohen told my dad I picked her flowers and I got spanked.
posted by
Hollee
on September 28, 2004 at 6:45 AM
| link to this | reply
This is funny because my story goes right along with the others
when I was a cop I was investigating an accident and the one female driver had this large top on and I asked her if she wanted an ambulance and she said no why? I said well "in your condition" you should maybe be checked out. She looked at me and said loudly, "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat!"
posted by
scoop
on September 28, 2004 at 6:32 AM
| link to this | reply
Okay, the worst case I was ever a part of....
An aquaintance of mine, who knows my family from WAAAAY back (small town life you know), ran in to me at Wal-Mart. I had my kids with me and my husband was lingering in the background looking at something.
Anyway, she ooh'd and aah'd over my kids, of which I have two, then asked me when the third one was due! Ack...
The worst I ever heard of was when my boss asked one of our clients how her mother was not knowing the mother had just died...
I understand it wasn't pretty.
posted by
koriani
on September 28, 2004 at 5:03 AM
| link to this | reply
lol................wow ha ha
me cant tell you it all as there has been many of time but I can proudly say it has never been my doing because I am very quiet and shy...but my friends are terrible.......lol
we went to a pub one night and the barmaid bought our drinks over....my friend asked her how far into her pregnancy she was..........the barmaid looked shocked and said I am not pregnant...so my friend said oh...sorry you must of just had a baby then...........the barmaid replyed well no 7 years ago..............
I felt so embarressed for the girl.....especially when the next time we went to the pub the barmaid was wearing baggy clothes..........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 28, 2004 at 4:59 AM
| link to this | reply