Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
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lizvanzandt
I am ever so sorry for your loss, thank you very much for reading and commenting when it must be very painful for you to read, thank you so much for your kind words and your advice that is a good idea about the cards and things, I have had so much lovely advice here I can not thank you all enough, take care and look after yourself and family, my prayers are with you, take care and thank you for everything
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 11, 2004 at 11:39 AM
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I know how awful it is to lose someone to suicide. My husband killed himself over a year and half ago and I am so sorry for the pain you and your family must feel.
If you want something to say, make sure it from the heart, maybe even find a poem that reflects the continuation of life and how precious it is.
My daughter, Marissa, who was seven at the time, almost eight, had me read the birthday card she had bought for him. He shot himself three days before his fortieth birthday. It broke my heart to have to read that but it meant so much to my daughter and the rest of his family. Maybe you could go over things like that. You know, personal memories, cards, letters.
Good luck and God's peace to you and your family.
posted by
lizvanzandt
on September 11, 2004 at 11:35 AM
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katray
I am sorry for your loss, it is so heartbreaking, thank you so much for your heartfelt comment, and for sharing, you truly have a heart of gold, thank you so much for everything, have a nice day, take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 11, 2004 at 5:17 AM
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tbgroucho
thank you so much although I have not got much time, it is next thursday
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 11, 2004 at 5:15 AM
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Original_Influence
thank you very much for reading and for your advice......take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 11, 2004 at 5:15 AM
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tremacc
thats a wonderful idea thank you very much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 11, 2004 at 5:14 AM
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INCUBUS
thank you very much for reading and commenting you are great........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 11, 2004 at 5:14 AM
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My beloved grandmother passed away rather unexpectedly (tho she was 89) several months ago and all the family expected me to write and read her eulogy. I was grieving, stunned and unable to find a word within me. I had pretty much given up on producing anything worthwhile until the morning before her funeral. I dreamed of her, saw how happy and peaceful she was and at 3 a.m. the words began pouring. Though it was a very sad occasion, I and everybody else present that day was very pleased and moved by my piece. It can come to you when you least expect it. Good luck and Peace.
posted by
Katray2
on September 11, 2004 at 12:44 AM
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I can't seem to find the eulogy
we wrote for our brother-in-law who passed suddenly...just give yourself time you'll come up with the right words. tg
posted by
tbgroucho
on September 10, 2004 at 9:44 PM
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Synphony,
Write stuff about what it is that you loves about him and tell little short stories that involve him...it brings him back to life for everyone! Good luck with this.
posted by
Original_Influence
on September 10, 2004 at 8:17 PM
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Hi, Symphony. Maybe you could write a "letter" to your brother first. Use what comes to you and/or reflect on what you have written to decide what you feel is important for you to say about him. Again, sorry about your loss.
posted by
Tremac
on September 10, 2004 at 6:43 PM
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Symphony
I'm terribly sorry to read this. I didn't know.
Be honest in your writing and you can't go wrong. Capture those things that capture the man, put it down, and deliver it. It will be great. I know it will.
Best Regards!
posted by
Zachary.N.Miles
on September 10, 2004 at 6:23 PM
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OK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it is time for me to get ready for work, behave yourselfs tonight, and I will catch up with everything I have missed tomorrow some time, take care and have a lovely night, all the best.......good bye
speak to you tomorrow
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 9:22 AM
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WHAMENATOR
thank you ever so much for the book
and thank you so much for your advice, yes I think it is better to stay with the positive thoughts rather than the negatives, I will go back to our childhood, and really think on things that should be said as well as need to be said.........thank you ever so much for everything you are great............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 8:51 AM
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RachelAnna
thank you very much, yes it is very hard because it really is painful...to write about and I am worried incase I do say/write the wrong thing, I love him to pieces and obviously so does my mum, so hopefully my feelings and emotions that I put into words will hopefully be ok, I have really good advice here so I am going to work on it and show you all when I am finished.....I am going a work tonight so I must be going soon, thank you for reading and commenting...you are wonderful..take care
I hope you are well
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 8:49 AM
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SYMPHONY, I AM AGAIN, ALSO, SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.......
I think when I die, rather than having a sad and heavy eulogy, I would rather have everyone get together on my behalf for a Roast! Then, their last memory would be one of laughter, rather than the sorrow that I caused in my own sorrow.
I am not suggesting you Roast you dear departed brother, but that perhaps you recognize some of the wonderful, fun and funny times you had, so that even through your tears, you can find some laughter.
"I remember the time.........."
But I have never had the daunting task of preparing a Eulogy. Laughter is just my way of coping with.........well, just about everything. So I guess I am the wrong one to ask for advice here.
Please do not think that I minimize your sorrow, dear Maxine. Oh, and your book is all set for shipment. Will try to get it out today for you!
Much love, a Big Hug, and a lot of prayers!
Miriam
posted by
WHAMENATOR
on September 10, 2004 at 8:48 AM
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Hey you!
This has got to be hard because it's not like you're just writing about the guy down the street! It's your brother! I have no experience here, really, but I'd just write from the heart. I wouldn't even address the way he passed, just how you felt about him (if it was good!) and how your family feels about him. Good luck!!
posted by
RachelAnna
on September 10, 2004 at 8:44 AM
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sassyass_64
thank you so much, I am sorry for your loss too, yes that would be great to talk about child hood because thats when he was at his best, he got more agrreesive as he got older...........thank you so much for your advice and your encouragment.............take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 8:37 AM
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When giving a eulogy
you are supposed to talk about his life and what he meant to you. I wrote a poem for my Grandfather and Father. My dad also took his life at a very young age. You could say something positive even though his death was a negative force in your life. Maybe talk about what a great brother he was to you or bring up something funny from when you were children. I am so sorry for your loss.
posted by
Sherri_G
on September 10, 2004 at 8:35 AM
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Wildwoman_Laloba
thank you so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 8:33 AM
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You've received lots of good advice, Symphony
My sympathies to you and yours. Write from the heart and you'll be great.
posted by
Wildwoman_Laloba
on September 10, 2004 at 8:23 AM
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Hollee I bet you have a beautiful voice
I wish I could hear you sing it too.............thank you so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 7:54 AM
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I wish I could sing it for you - even with my froggy voice, the tune
is slightly haunting - all in a minor key. Beautiful. Glad it helped.
posted by
Hollee
on September 10, 2004 at 7:48 AM
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Hollee
wow that is beautiful .......thank you so much I must be feeling very emotional today as this is another I cried at...such beautiful words thank you so much, this has gave me the inspiration to start and write something.soon ..thank you very much ....take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 7:42 AM
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Symph - maybe this old song I sang at a funeral will give you some help
Little Things
So many little things
I never took the time to say
Don’t seem little anymore
Now that you’ve gone away.
I hope you know I love you
I always meant to tell you so
But I didn’t realize
How suddenly you’d go.
So many little things
I could have done so easily
Just to try and let you know
How much you mean to me.
I know you’re happy where you are
And it’s not for you I cry
But it’s you who made me see
How selfish I can be.
And so although I can’t help crying
I’m glad it’s you who keeps me praying
That I could learn to be a better friend.
Lord, help me learn
To be a better friend.
posted by
Hollee
on September 10, 2004 at 7:30 AM
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Melodystar
thank you so much, I will defiently write it from the heart.....its just choosing the right words..........thank you so much for everything........take care and I hope everything is well with you
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 7:26 AM
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So sorry about your loss and grief, start with what you feel in your heart and soul, what he meant to you and everyone else. Good Luck. Take care.
posted by
Melodystar
on September 10, 2004 at 7:21 AM
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Hollee
thank you, you are so sweet...........you always brighten up my day............thank you take care and enjoy your day
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 7:21 AM
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Tapsel-T
thank you so very much, I am sorry for your loss, it really does hurt, but I am and want to stay strong for everybody else, this is something I have never done before, before my brother took his own life, we had a disagreement and I never did get to say I am sorry, that really hurts to keep admiting that, but I feel I owe him this, I know he would not be angry with me, but I am angry with myself, it taught me a valid lesson.........life really is too short..to argue.....thank you so much for your support and encouragement, I am sure your brother knows how you feel without words..............take care and thanks again
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 7:20 AM
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Symph - go with your heart - speak from there - it will be honest and true
just like you are.
posted by
Hollee
on September 10, 2004 at 7:19 AM
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SYMPH - You are very brave. When I was somewhere around your age
This happened to me. I was a young mother with three children and my only brother took his own life. It was such a shock. Everyone in my family was devastated. It was so sad that none of us could even share our memories, we could only cry. We could only give our thoughts to the minister to read. I have always regreted that I did not voice my feelings myself, that I let the one terrible thing he did in taking his own life, keep me from telling the world what a loving and wonderful brother he was to me and how much I would miss him. No matter what you say in your speech, it will be wonderful and you will always be glad you took the opportunity to speak of him in loving remembrance.
posted by
TAPS.
on September 10, 2004 at 7:06 AM
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beachbelle
thank you......yes I do want to keep it as simple as possible because I want my family to understand what I am expressing, this is a very hard responsibility....it really is..............thank you so much for reading and for your advice..........take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 6:50 AM
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I think it best to keep it simple
describe a couple of his characteristics and one or two anecdotes about things he said or did from your own unique perspective.
posted by
beachbelle
on September 10, 2004 at 6:47 AM
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PJDEONILES
wow that made me cry, I had to take a moment..........thats got to me...thank you so much that is wonderful, are you sure you don't mind me borrowing some of these words........thank you for reading, commenting, and for the wonderful words...........you are great............take care and enjoy your day
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 6:46 AM
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Condolences for your loss, SYMPHONY dear. Not that I have anything apt
But these thoughts came to my mind as I read your heart-wrenching request:
"We cling to you, 'Please don't leave'
Yet you must, and that we know
You gave us little time, a reprieve
Now to our Original Parent you go
I have questions, so does Mom
I'll let them pass, no matter;
Your leaving left us numbed
But now you say:'Live, fly, flutter'
--all the best Symph! PJ DeoNiles
posted by
Budd-Himoschris
on September 10, 2004 at 6:38 AM
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jamryn
do you think?..........thank you...I might write something about that too then, it is so hard putting this together, once I am finished I will post it here, for everybody..........thanks for reading.......take care thank you very much for your advice
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 6:18 AM
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The previous advice is good. You could say something about the peacefullness that you wrote in this blog. If I were you I would consider this offer a complement to be asked to do this. I 've got a feeling that your brother would be very proud of you - for accepting it.
posted by
jamryn
on September 10, 2004 at 6:14 AM
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mariantonia
thank you for all your help, yes I am very clever at covering my feelings, it has became a skill I have had to learn through my life, so no crying is no problem but its the actual reading out I am frightened of....its only for the members of my family, so I should not be that worried, but I have always had a problem with reading things out, and have never read my own work out myself...............something I need to master and I suppose there is a first thing for everything....just not very nice circumstances...............but again thank you so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 4:22 AM
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Symphony ~ You're welcome. Yes, prepare & show us if you need confidence. If you want to cry, do so in private, try not to at the public ceremony. Saying a prayer before facing the crowd will help too. Remember , you've been through much worse than this. This should be slightly easier to do.
posted by
mariantonia
on September 10, 2004 at 4:18 AM
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hugz_n_kisses
thnak you very much, yes thats sounds good to say too thank you ever so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 4:12 AM
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mariantonia
wow I am not brave, I feel scared, it is going to be very hard, maybe if I write something and show you all here and see what you think?.....I just need to prepare it first, thank you for your advice you are wonderful, through his life should be easy, but its the ending that I am finding difficult...thank you so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 10, 2004 at 4:11 AM
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tell what changes in hi stage ioof life you noticed, you could also say he wished, he loved, he seemed and perhaps end it with a conclusion that wiould be his moral lesson of life
perhaps when hyou write it us the active present (not he was here, he is being here but he is here, for examp;le)
good luckk sweety xoxoxoxox
posted by
hugz_n_kisses
on September 10, 2004 at 4:10 AM
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Hi. I think that speech is called an eulogy - speech in memory of the deceased. Can start from beginning of his life, then different stages, say a few words briefly. The most outstanding parts of his personality, his good deeds, his loves, hobbies, all about his life. No need to talk about speculation why he died. Say something diplomatic like the Lord called him. About 10-15 minutes speech. Should be no problem for you. Chin up, brave, lady!
posted by
mariantonia
on September 10, 2004 at 4:01 AM
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