Go to MY PERCEPTIVE REFLECTION!!
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- Go to I AM GOING TO LOOSE MY CHILDREN AREN'T I?...PLEASE SAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
mariantonia
thank you..............I have been looking things up on the computer for the uk but not really see anything that is a help, I am going to ring my mum and ask her, I don't want to involve her, but I feel pretty useless when I have got no clue what to do, I am so fed up and confused..........but thank you so much for commenting and everything
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 3, 2004 at 3:07 AM
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I think you need
British legal counsel on this issue. Sorry I have no such knowledge. How about your local legal aid or Women's Center?
posted by
mariantonia
on September 3, 2004 at 3:03 AM
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hugz_n_kisses
thank you so much......
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 3, 2004 at 3:01 AM
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StrickGold
thank you very much for the advice........
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 3, 2004 at 3:00 AM
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Original_Influence
thnak you
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 3, 2004 at 3:00 AM
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jamryn
thnak you very much, for your comments you really have helped me...........thank you so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 3, 2004 at 2:59 AM
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Train81149
thank you very much for commenting..although you are new and really don't know much about my situation....but thanks for voicing your opinion anyhow.................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 3, 2004 at 2:59 AM
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ifyou plan todivorce i wouldnt tell himbefore i got a lawyes, it saves time, your chiildren willll definately stay with you
as for the ficve reason, theyr obvious i think xoxoxoxox
posted by
hugz_n_kisses
on September 3, 2004 at 12:33 AM
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Not sure what state you are in but
in most states regardless of what is on the birth certificate the father has rights until his rights have either been terminated or revoked. If for some reason your childs father reappears he too has rights if he so desires to pursue them. I would contact legal counsel to have the father(s) of your children's rights revoked.
posted by
StrickGold
on September 2, 2004 at 8:15 PM
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Symphony,
You are a good mother and you will definitely have your children with you.
posted by
Original_Influence
on September 2, 2004 at 7:34 PM
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Thanks for the explination
I understand your confusion. The story you shared and your cace seem to be intiarely diferent cercomstances. There are two sides to every story. Why was the boy not living with his mother? What lies had the father told the boy about the mother? All parents ( sometimes - not meaning to - sometimes do mean to )do tell there children lies about the other parent.
Yes you both have rights, but you both have to act respobncicable to have the athorities inforce those rights. You are !!!!!! He's NOT!!!!!!!!! Nor is his mother!!!!!!!!!!
You need all the stregenth you can muster to be cool and calm. Like i said in the comments of your previous post - this a BAD - BAD - BAD game they are playing Get the athorities on your side. Children that young belong with there biological mother. Untill you can be sure of there safty - go through the athorities to limit any and all visatation rights.
My husband was limited to supervised visatation rights for one hour alone - by himself - no one else in the room - EXCEPT HIM, CHILDREN, AND THE SUPERVISOR.
posted by
jamryn
on September 2, 2004 at 6:21 PM
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Thanks for the explination
I understand your confusion. The story you shared and your cace seem to be intiarely diferent cercomstances. There are two sides to every story. Why was the boy not living with his mother? What lies had the father told the boy about the mother? All parents ( sometimes - not meaning to - sometimes do mean to )do tell there children lies about the other parent.
Yes you both have rights, but you both have to act respobncicable to have the athorities inforce those rights. You are !!!!!! He's NOT!!!!!!!!! Nor is his mother!!!!!!!!!!
You need all the stregenth you can muster to be cool and calm. Like i said in the comments of your previous post - this a BAD - BAD - BAD game they are playing Get the athorities on your side. Children that young belong with there biological mother. Untill you can be sure of there safty - go through the athorities to limit any and all visatation rights.
My husband was limited to supervised visatation rights for one hour alone - by himself - no one else in the room - EXCEPT HIM, CHILDREN, AND THE SUPERVISOR.
posted by
jamryn
on September 2, 2004 at 6:20 PM
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IF he wasn't present at that time, if he was missing even now, you aren't
bad, but every child must have the right to have both parents no matter whether they are good or bad as long as they love their kids. So, try to add his name.
posted by
1965stories
on September 2, 2004 at 5:24 PM
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am I a bad mum if this goes to court...?
does he have rights?............do we need a D.N.A first..............I am so confused..I have read so much infomation, that my head is about to explode,.....maybe I should read tomorrow.................so sorry for being like this............
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 5:21 PM
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SKY5
I am missing you..............I am hoping everything is ok with you?.......look after yourself........and take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 5:04 PM
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Hello angel friend.........
posted by
Star5_
on September 2, 2004 at 5:02 PM
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katray
thank you so much, you are so kind, I am just so scared...........nothing has ever belong to me, so I think that is another reason why I am finding it hard to realise............you are great..........thank you so much
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 4:58 PM
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this is what I read.........it was not wrote by me...this is why I worry
SkrewBall
My son (technically step-son...but I have been his sole maternal parent for most of his life) has a birth certificate that says father: unknown. we are in the process of having his father, my hubby, added to the certificate. We tried to get a copy of his birth certificate so he can get his learner's permit, but were refused as hubby is not listed as his father. We got the court papers that established paternity and granted sole custody to hubby, and have sent them in to have it altered, but let me tell you what my son says. He says that every time he thinks about the fact that his birth certificate says he has no daddy he wants to punch the glass out of every window in our house. He says he hates her for not putting his daddy on his birth certificate. Don't ever make your child feel either of these things. And, maybe actually being a father will have a positive effect on this man. Often we don't know what we are readey for, until we actually have to face it. Encourage him to be part of his child's life. Every child deserves a mother and a father. If the two of you can have a good relationship, it will make his life all that much better. If you maintain a good relationship, then if God forbid anything ever did happen, your child could still live with a parent, and still have your family. Don't assume the worst. Work for the best. Not every relationship between exes has to be full of wrath and acrimony. Show your child that they are important to you by making it's entire family a priority in it's life.
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 4:56 PM
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jamryn
thank you so much, I am a panicker when it comes to my children because I have never wanted to guard something so much with all my life, I want to be the very best that I can, it is now nearly 1am, so I guess I am tired and over reacting, but if you would of seen what I have read, then you will understand........hang on I wil post here in comments what I read................I am sure it is not plagarising, because I have not posted it..to say it was me........and I am telling you it is from somebody else.............thanks for listening
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 4:53 PM
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Believe me Symphony, when your children are old enough to ask the questions, they will also be old enough to realize who's been with them through thick and thin, loving and caring for them minute by minute. They will not blame you for the failings of their father. So true, we can't know the real parenting heart of a man until the role is a reality. You sound like a terrific mother!
posted by
Katray2
on September 2, 2004 at 4:53 PM
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What is best for the Children
I don't know the law's there but I would guess they would think it best all the way around for Children that young to stay with there Mother. As others have said you have beem with them 24/7/365 - for all there lives. Through thick and thin.
You'd have to be a murder or molester or someone puting their lives in danger on a daily basis to have them consider taking them away. It sounds like you're working yourself into a panic and a fuss over nothing.
Be the GOOD MOM that you are and give them an extera hug and kiss good night from me. Tell them I said they are the luckiest children around to have a goog mom like you.
posted by
jamryn
on September 2, 2004 at 4:48 PM
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MizMax
thank you so much for your wonderful heart felt comment..............if anything I suffocate them because I want the very best for them, I love them with all my heart and constantley worry about the future, I wish I could change my ways..........but I am worried for my children..........thank you so much for reading and commenting and all of your advice I really apprieciate it...............you are great.........................take care
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 4:47 PM
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RachelAnna
again your right, I think I am a good mum...but I worry so much about the future
and the truth is..........I hold so much of a grudge for my own family, I don't want my own children going through the same, I am so scared that I am not doing a good job, that I am trying to be perfect, it was so much easier when they were babies...........but now they are growing up and the truth will eventually come out so "thats" what it has to do with it............they will leave for thinking I am so bad...........thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 4:45 PM
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man-boy
thank you so much for your wonderful comment............I feel really down .....I hope I feel better tomorrow because I feel clearly not myself..........thank you
posted by
_Symphony_
on September 2, 2004 at 4:42 PM
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"Bad" Mothers
Sounds to me like the awol father is the bad mother, as in bad motherf____r.
Do not confuse your reluctance to admit that you may have made a bad choice or two in choosing a mate. Which of use hasn't? Those who say they haven't are either very, very lucky; very, very delusional; or very, very dishonest. Not naming a father is not the same as not knowing the father. And if if you didn't know the father, that would still not make a whit of difference regarding your own parenting abilities. Regarding those, do you feed your children? Keep them warm? Did you change their diapers (I suppose that's nappies over there), keep clothes on them (as much as possible--what is it with kids and them wanting to get naked all the time, anyway?), try to comfort them when they were scared or hurt or just plain old whiny/bored/out of sorts?
Being a good mother—hell, even a mediocre one—is a full-time job, and often a full-time job on top of two or three other jobs outside the home. Some of us are lucky enough to be able to do what we do partially or completely from home, some of us aren't; some of us have supportive husbands, wives, partners, family, friends and others to lend a hand or a buck or a shoulder to cry on, and others have just their own tired reflections in the mirror as they try to spruce up between episodes of sleepwalking from cribside to curbside.
As for your ex who takes out his anger on you and then has the gall to blame you for it, enlisting his mother in the mix, well that's just plain cowardly. Screw him. No, better yet, don't. Save it for someone more deserving.
I don't know how custody laws work in England. Over here they are very strongly biased in favor of the mother. They would pretty much have to prove that you were turning tricks on the kitchen table, mainlining heroin in the kids' room, and selling the baby's food to support your habit to give him cutody over you, but he probably would get limited visitation, provided he was sober....
posted by
MizMax
on September 2, 2004 at 4:35 PM
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You're not a bad mother!
You were young then, but still, what does that have to do with anything? Whether you have a father listed or not does not take away from your ability to parent and be a good mother. You've been the one there through everything, right? Why would you lose your children?! It just isn't likely.
posted by
RachelAnna
on September 2, 2004 at 4:26 PM
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Symphony,my dear sister...
You are a good person. It hurts to read that you might actually think you are not worthy. Other people in your life may try to make you think less of yourself. But don't do it. Your little kids need a mom who is pround and strong. They need to grow up to avoid the cycles of pain and dysfunction you have had to endure. They must see in you evidence that there is something wonderful within them that deserves self-respect and the respect of others. Take care and be gentle on yourself.
posted by
man-boy
on September 2, 2004 at 4:26 PM
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